ItsNotOK

As my husband suffers through detox still (and again), I have come to a conclusion. Though I have been content for many years, I am not happy and have not been in a long time. Definitely time for some changes. I am tired of waiting for the next crisis, tired of the next relapse, just tired. I tried to remember the last time we just laughed together...I do not remember. Though I believe he cares for me, and I care for him, there is no joy in the relationship anymore.

I learned a long time ago that I am not a tree. I do not have roots. If I am unhappy where I am, it is time to move. A plan is in the works. The plan is to sell my house, get a divorce (probably not in that order) and buy a small place for me and my son and our pets. The drama along the way may be painful, but I have found that I am happy when I am not with my husband. Kinda sad. It's going to take about a year to put it all in place the way I want, but since I am in no immediate danger or crisis, I have time. But I have a goal. Now it is time to plan.

I went back in this forum almost 10 years, reading and feeling and getting involved with people's stories. My heart truly goes out to those that are dealing with addicted children, or those that have children with their addicts. It's not so easy for them. My case is simple. We own a house. There are 3 dogs (That's where the drama will come in.). Other than that, it is mostly all mine. And it's just stuff. I can walk away from it all. Possessions mean very little to me.

The addictive manipulating behavior continues. Right now he is moody (day 6 detox) and yelled at the dogs. Then he got mad at me because he wanted me to get up (with my Degenerative Disc Disease...grrr) and go get a pill bottle that was sitting RIGHT NEXT TO HIM to get him a pill. My response was a bit snarky, I am afraid. "You've been a pill addict for 20 years, I am sure you can figure out how to open a pill bottle". Yeah and so it goes lol

AnvilheadII

My response was a bit snarky, I am afraid. "You've been a pill addict for 20 years, I am sure you can figure out how to open a pill bottle".

oh my gosh, that is just brilliant! and bravo to you.

a big takeaway for me from your post was this:

I am not a tree. I do not have roots. If I am unhappy where I am, it is time to move.

i'm going to have to ponder my not-treeness now!

suki44883

Here ya go. Print this out.

least

I wish you all the best as you execute your plan for freedom.

atalose

A goal and a plan - two of the best things to have! I wish you all the best on executing the plan and achieving your goal.

zoso77

I think in order to be happy, you have to be healthy first. So do what you have to do.

hopeful4

Good for you! Sending you continued strength in your journey!