Communication or lack there of.....
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Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 33
Communication or lack there of.....
I have a very close friend who is a heroin addict, we have a very close connection and have feelings for each other, but because of his addiction it hasn't developed into anything more. I just wanted some advice on communication, he is not good at expressing his feelings towards me but he shows me. He is very caring and respectful when we see each other, he recently gave me a ring..we usually see each other every day or we will have a few really good weeks then i feel like he avoids me for a few days, he tells me he doesn't like to see me when he looks bad. Recently we had made plans to hang out on a Saturday, he was going to come see my part of town. He asked for my phone number and was going to call me in the afternoon and i was going to go meet him. He never called..i wasn't really expecting him too as we had made plans before in the past and they had fallen through...since he didn't call me on saturday i have not seen him, he is avoiding me and i am not sure if it is because he feels bad or what. I know it has to do with him using but i kinda thought he would apologize by now or give me some excuse but there has been nothing.. its upsetting me.
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
I have a very close friend who is a heroin addict,
he recently gave me a ring..
Recently we had made plans to hang out on a Saturday, he was going to come see my part of town. He asked for my phone number and was going to call me in the afternoon and i was going to go meet him. He never called.
he recently gave me a ring..
Recently we had made plans to hang out on a Saturday, he was going to come see my part of town. He asked for my phone number and was going to call me in the afternoon and i was going to go meet him. He never called.
How good of friend could he really be if he didn’t even have your phone #. And why would a drug addict give someone they don't really know a ring? I'd be highly suspicious of that.
He’s doing what addicts do, this is him and this is how he is, you are seeing exactly who and how he is. But let’s say you could find out for sure if he’s avoiding you because he feels bad, would that make you feel better about all of this?
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Originally Posted by Sarahas 
Yes i believe that too, I just want to know is he avoiding me because he feels bad.
It's not probably about you in any way. Addicts are pretty self-centered and miserable in general.
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 5,450
Try not to personalize his behavior in any way, or trick yourself into thinking there is something you could do or say to make him not "feel bad."
As long as he's using, it's always going to be about his addiction.
As long as he's using, it's always going to be about his addiction.
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Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 33
Well I feel even worse now...so he didn’t call or keep plans with me but was with some other women, who obviously uses as well...I don’t. I’m pretty much at the end of my rope and don’t deserve this..even as friends.
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Sarahas
Well I feel even worse now...so he didn’t call or keep plans with me but was with some other women, who obviously uses as well...I don’t. I’m pretty much at the end of my rope and don’t deserve this..even as friends.
since youre at the end of your rope, i think it would be wise to cut the rope to free yourself from him because he doesnt deserve you in his life.
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