sweetichick

That's what my sponsor told me. How could something so simple be so hard. The thought of a nursing home is putting me off for now. Just venting.

Dee74

If I can do it anyone can sweetichick

D

time2shineagain

I'm glad you reached out to your sponsor, Sweetichick. How are you feeling?

Healthyandsober

why a home are you that old sweetchick? any ways i was in a mental hospital for 4 days alcohol will break you.Im 42. give it a try i will. best of luck!

sweetichick

A little better thanks. I have been reading the 24 hours a day meditation book. I need something to give me hope. Need to believe in God again.

sweetichick

Thanks for asking. I am 50 and my health is failing due to alcohol. Tomorrow is my first meeting for a while.

time2shineagain

Glad to hear you're feeling a little bit better and that you're attending a meeting tomorrow. Staying sober will give you the best shot at regaining your health, sweetichick. We're here for you. Stay close

sweetichick

Thanks Shine. Only other alcoholics understand.

Forward12

It sounds like you have a great sponsor! Take their advice and attend meetings daily.

Delilah1

Hi Sweetichick,

The good thing is your health will improve as you add sober time, it might be a little at a time, but as the days/weeks/months/years pass you will start to notice the changes.

I know payday is a tough day for you, can you start thinking about a plan now for your next payday? Is there a family member you trust to hold money for you, and use it to pay for bills, food, gas?

I'm glad you are heading to a meeting tomorrow. Your sponsor is right, it is as simple as not drinking, that doesn't mean it's easy, but I promise it is worth it.

sweetichick

That's a good idea Delilah. Payday is not for ten days but good to make a plan. I could still use the food money for alcohol ATM but that is a no go zone. This last binge was my shortest due to having to pay back loans. Not doing that this week either. Need to grow up and be responsible.

Forward12

You may die if you don't. Take the amazing advice you have received and run with it.

sweetichick

I think I just can't get over my neighbour. I thought he was my friend. He turned up here with second wife in toe. When we do talk we just fight. At least I am not crying anymore. We only communicate by phone. He blames everything on my drinking smoking and not cleaning my house properly. I say he has no respect and is rude and impolite. I don't want him to be the cause of drinking myself to death. Today is just lonely. No visitors. He scared off all my friends. Besides his 2 wives. I refused to join the harem or left it. I feel like the problem is with me but it's more than just drinking.

yinzer

Drinking won’t help the situation with your neighbor, but you know that. Come visit with us when the situation upsets you.

50 is still young enough to heal a lot if you quit drinking now! I’m 52 and have a LOT of future plans of travel, hiking, biking and other things that make me happy. Some may be pipe dreams, but they keep me on the right path rather than wallowing in the things that aren’t so great and resorting to my old bad drinking habits. You have a good future ahead if you want it!

tomsteve

not drinking, going to meetings, reading the big book, and following the simple siuggestions can help with both pretty good.

wiscsober

Sweetichick: The beauty of the AA program lies within its simplicity.

entropy1964

Hey Sweetchick

When I was in rehab a little over a year ago there were 2 women there close in age to me. One was 49 and literally was in bed, could barely walk, for close to 10 days. Her detox was brutal....but she did come around. The other, 57, had to walk with a walker, her liver was failing, she couldn't control her bowel movements anymore, and was literally dying. She looked 30 years older than me. It was a harsh, but effective, show of what alcohol has in store for me. She shouldn't have even been at this facility, she should have been in hospice...but that's not the point.

I'll be 53 in August and I know for sure that my body cannot handle booze anymore. And it sounds like you are there too. If I drink, I will die a horrid demoralizing death.

Your neighbor? Sweetchick. You must let that go. Hanging on to him is exactly what your addiction wants because it keeps you tethered to self pity, self harm and self abuse. And that keeps you drinking. For me, my serious drinking is a form of self harm...and hanging on to toxic people is the same.

You are at a cross roads SC. You are young enough to rebound. You know it. Stay sober, go to AA, and don't drink no matter what. I believe we addicts are a stubborn lot. We stubbornly hang on to our addictions. We can use that free will to hang on to our recovery like our lives depend on it. Because they do.

sweetichick

They were very scary stories. I can see that being me. I will do whatever it takes. I feel defined by my alcoholism like that's who I am. Need to change that and reinvent myself. Thanks so much flip for sharing that story. Was a real eyeopener.

wynwrights

Your story of the two women you encountered in rehab is very powerful Frickaflip, but your point that our addiction wants us to hang on to drama and welcomes difficulties with open arms is what really hit me smack in the face: it’s hair-raising in its honesty. And honesty is what sobriety needs to really gain traction.

I’m wishing you all the best, sweetichick, and I’m willing for you to choose sobriety because I think it’s exactly what you need and what you deserve: it’s not a punishment, it’s a gift. All my very best to you.

Healthyandsober

Do it. Go to that meeting you are still young you don't need to be in a home. Im here Im doing it with you