Need Help
Recoverer of Self
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 297
Need Help
Sorry if I posted this twice...I am finding my way around here again....
Hello All....It's been a long while since I've been around. I have been sober now for over 2 years. Working my recovery everyday. I got sober after hitting bottom, I was filled with desperation and had no fight left in me. I came here immediately and received lots of support that got me through that first agonizing bit of stopping drinking. But then left. I was filled with amazement that I was sober and decided to pursue recovery on my own. I have done pretty well. I saw a therapist a time or 2....but because I knew more than they did..( lol)..I left that as well. I tried AA a couple of times...but, but, but...etc., I left that too. What I did stick to was working a personal program everyday....reading about addiction and recovery and working my hardest to take inventory and make changes. For the most part, I am super happy with my progress, I am a changed person and so grateful to be sober. However I have a long way to go. I think I may need to do some recovery work that involves support from others. Up until now I have isolated myself greatly. The meeetings I have been to in my small community left me feeling confused...I know I should be grateful, but because our meetings are so small and consist of mostly older men, I have a hard time connecting...they are wonderful people, I just find it hard to communicate with them. So I've decided to start at the beginning. I have come back here ready to share and accept support and take advice.
Why this particular day? Well, I tried to make ammends to someone yesterday and this person completely attacked me....I don't want to get into the specifics of it....my concern with this issue is that I handle it properly. That I handle my own feelings about it properly. This person and I won't be communicating again. But I don't want the hurt and shock I'm feeling to set me back. So I have come here to ramp up my recovery. I realize I need support or I may wallow and fall. I am not looking for support for this particular issue....what's done is done....I need support in my overall recovery process.
Thanks for listening.
Hello All....It's been a long while since I've been around. I have been sober now for over 2 years. Working my recovery everyday. I got sober after hitting bottom, I was filled with desperation and had no fight left in me. I came here immediately and received lots of support that got me through that first agonizing bit of stopping drinking. But then left. I was filled with amazement that I was sober and decided to pursue recovery on my own. I have done pretty well. I saw a therapist a time or 2....but because I knew more than they did..( lol)..I left that as well. I tried AA a couple of times...but, but, but...etc., I left that too. What I did stick to was working a personal program everyday....reading about addiction and recovery and working my hardest to take inventory and make changes. For the most part, I am super happy with my progress, I am a changed person and so grateful to be sober. However I have a long way to go. I think I may need to do some recovery work that involves support from others. Up until now I have isolated myself greatly. The meeetings I have been to in my small community left me feeling confused...I know I should be grateful, but because our meetings are so small and consist of mostly older men, I have a hard time connecting...they are wonderful people, I just find it hard to communicate with them. So I've decided to start at the beginning. I have come back here ready to share and accept support and take advice.
Why this particular day? Well, I tried to make ammends to someone yesterday and this person completely attacked me....I don't want to get into the specifics of it....my concern with this issue is that I handle it properly. That I handle my own feelings about it properly. This person and I won't be communicating again. But I don't want the hurt and shock I'm feeling to set me back. So I have come here to ramp up my recovery. I realize I need support or I may wallow and fall. I am not looking for support for this particular issue....what's done is done....I need support in my overall recovery process.
Thanks for listening.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,516
I'm glad you're back and posting.
I'm sorry that you had such a bad experience when you attempted to make amends with someone. The main thing is that you did your part and that's all you can do. Making amends can be tricky, but I'm sorry that you felt attacked.
I'm sorry that you had such a bad experience when you attempted to make amends with someone. The main thing is that you did your part and that's all you can do. Making amends can be tricky, but I'm sorry that you felt attacked.
Recoverer of Self
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 297
Now that I am rational....drinking robbed me of rationality, among other things....but now that I am rational, I am open to more suggestions, advice and guidance for recovery. I was dead set against AA and 12 steps...but am willing to do whatever it takes to get better. Having this new life of sobriety has been like winning the lottery and living the dream....however I still suffer with many personality defects and emotional imbalance....I know I can find my way through them....somehow....maybe someone else's advice will prove better than mine and help me get further in my recovery.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Welcome back rahrah and congrats on 2 years 
Amends are tricky - there were, and still are, those who wanted nothing more to do with me, let alone forgive me.
Although we naturally think of making amends to others, amends are also for us to let go of the past and move on.
You've done what you could. I'm sorry it didn't turn out great, but I'd move on.
D
Amends are tricky - there were, and still are, those who wanted nothing more to do with me, let alone forgive me.
Although we naturally think of making amends to others, amends are also for us to let go of the past and move on.
You've done what you could. I'm sorry it didn't turn out great, but I'd move on.
D
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