Natasha1994

I was doing so good. Managing my cravings, not giving into anything. Meanwhile my boyfriend took me to a hockey game and promised me he wouldn’t drink have a drink... well he came back to our seats with a beer and threatened me if I got a drink it would be the end of our relationship. I was going so good, I was so happy. I got a beer, drank it and now I’m back to square one. Nothing ever goes in my favour. feeling helpless.

Avra

Hi Fellow prairie dweller.
I know what that feels like but keep on with it. It was a mistake yes, but perhaps next time the urge hits you can remember this and how it was a mistake.
You and you alone are responsible for drinking but it doesnt sound very supportive on his part if he said he wouldnt drink. What do you think led to your drinking? Try to sort that because you can learn for it next time and have a plan in place.

PinkPanther08

It seems like this threat was a major trigger for you. I hope in his mind he was trying to help but I think that if he were really trying to help, perhaps he would not have had a beer in your early days of being sober.

PinkPanther08

Tomorrow is another day. Don't fall down the rabbit hole.

anxiousrock

Why was he having a drink?
Did you tell him it bothered you?

Natasha1994

Yeah he knows it bothers me and he knows I am struggling. It’s hard because I’m the only one out of our friends group who is really trying to stop drinking. And I caved and had a beer because it was a trigger and then he brown it in my face that my 8 days sober were a waste because I had a beer and now I feel worthless

emme99

They weren't a waste Natasha. Eight days sober is 8 days sober, they don't go away because you drank. Maybe try to avoid going to places where you might be tempted to drink for right now. Eight days is awesome, you can do it again, and more

Natasha1994

Thank you, that makes me feel so much better

Mummyto2

Dust yourself off and start again, don't beat yourself up, have a plan and try to take yourself out of certain situations that will tempt you in the early stages, you can do this, I am rooting for you good luck

Dee74

Many of us faltered a time or two Natasha - you lost a battle not the war.

Maybe your partner will have to get used to going to hockey games on his own for a while?

D

soberista

Sorry to say but your partner doesnt sound very supportive, and quite frankly, a prat. Maybe he was jealous that you showed the commitment to 8 days sober and he couldnt so sabotaged you. Perhaps he is part of the problem not the solution? Also you need to analyse the sentence "nothing ever goes in my favour". You are not a victim here. You bought the beer and drank it. Take responsibility for your actions. Youve done 8 days. Well done. Now dust yourself down and get right back on with creating a fantastic life for yourself AF.

All the best

Stride34

Curious how having a beer puts you back to square 1? You've had 1 beer in 8 days which is very good. Not that it was good that you drank the beer, but this whole thing about maintaining perfect sobriety and if any alcohol is consumed (to break your streak) means it was all for nothing really makes no sense. It's totally psychological.

Anna

You can get back on track today and move forward. 8 days was great and you can do it again and keep right on going.

I think it's important to step away from the victim mode. This was one of the hardest things for me to do. Saying 'nothing ever goes in my favour' is not good as self-talk. You are not a victim, but a person who can and does make choices. You can learn to make healthy choices and keep moving forward in your recovery.

wildflower70

Great job on 8 days.....don't let anyone take that away from you!
If my boyfriend or any other friend threatened me about drinking, with a drink in their hand.....that would be a huge red flag.

This person is supposed to love and support you, not threaten and put you down. Kind-of like eating a chocolate bar in front of a diabetic child and laughing because they can't have any......

Put yourself 1st, and if it was me, I would be making that very clear to him. Just my opinion.

Your doing great...love yourself and the rest will fall into place.

ChloeRose63

Seems like your bf finds pleasure in controling how you feel about yourself. Do you really want to give him and alcohol your power? You need to get stronger but that will be hard if he enjoys cutting you down.

Hawkeye13

You know, you may find that he may be something else you need sobriety from.

Often when we clear our mind and start rebuilding our self-esteem,
what was "good enough" or what we felt "lucky to get" is revealed
as far less than we deserve.