tiddletop

Hi guys I'm new here and struggling big time. I don't know what to do tbh. I've been around this forum for a while but just got the courage to join you. I hate myself. I'm nearly 50 professional job nice home etc etc but can't put the bottle down. I'm actually wading through a bottle of whiskey atm. I don't want to be this person anymore. Can anyone shed some light please? I would be most grateful for any response

MidnightBlue

Hi, Tiddletop.

Welcome to the posting side of the SR!

First, there is no use in hating yourself. Never helped anybody.

Second, pour that whiskey out. Because the best moment to stop is now.

You may be scared to think about it, and it's unimaginable to live without alcohol, but it can be done.

I am 5 years 5 months sober. My life changed a lot in many way I couldn't even imagine. It all started with one tiny stop of not drinking today.

SR was a great help, definitely a game changer for me.

Someone here once said: Don't drink unless you post and get permission of at least 5 members.

Try it.

When urges hit, just posting and getting emotions off the chest helps a lot.

Stick to us.

tiddletop

Thank you for responding. I don't feel I deserve any tbh. How can someone deserve anything when their aim is gulping down whisky. I've had the dregs now and need to make tomorrow day 1.
I'm embarrassed of the person I've become but want to change, if that makes sense to anyone

J50

Alcohol is a depressant. When you drink it in excessive amounts, it will make you feel very depressed.

It's not easy to quit, but can be done.

There are many people here who have the experience of long term sobriety who are willing to help!

MidnightBlue

You do deserve responses and help.

Addiction splits our personality into two separate pieces.

Make tomorrow your Day 1 and come back posting.

We are here to help.

Nonsensical

You may want to consider taking that boot of self-loathing off your neck. It won't make you sober, and it'll probably keep you drinking.

That's what happened to me anyway. I tried to hate myself into sobriety for 25 years. It never worked. When I started treating myself like a friend who needed my help I started to make real progress.

Drink a lot of water, my friend.
The hard work starts tomorrow.
Get here early.

You can do this.

Anna

Welcome!

Try to step away from the shame, guilt and self-hate because it will lead you straight back to the bottle. I hope you decide to stop drinking for good. It's always a good idea to have a plan in place to help you get started and to continue with your recovery.

julietUK

Hi tiddletop. You have made a start by finding and posting on this site. Next step is getting rid of the booze. Lots of water, good food, keeping coming here and posting and reading other peoples posts. I am only 2 months sober and the only way I have done it is by one day at a time. I sign into the 24 hours recovery thread every morning. pledging not to drink for the next 24 hours. For many of us that is the only way to do it.

I wish you luck. You can do it.

jhonnyspa

You took the first step by posting here and if you really want to stop you will go to any lengths that it takes to achieve this.Alcohol does not distinguish It can take anybody to there knees and then kick them into the grave.That's why I do believe the saying about alcohol being called the demon drink.There is no shame in going to AA meetings maybe try an online meeting and start there.Good luck with your quest.

FreedomCA

You can still make today your Day 1. Just notate the exact time you stopped today and the clock starts ticking. Good luck!

REM700

Hi Tiddletop.. I'm in the same boat, only I drank Vodka.. Hid it mostly, from my wife and everyone else. Could easily drink a liter per day, more on the weekends.

Nice house, professional career, great family. Alcohol doesn't care.

I'm on day 3 right now after another relapse. Withdrawals are mostly gone and I'm feeling good. I know what you're going through. I went through those thoughts and feeling on Sunday. I poured the bottle out around 5pm on Sunday and I'm glad I did.. I woke up this morning without a hangover and I'm actually getting work done before noon. You can do it!!

warrens

Please know this: There is not a damn thing unique in your situation or your response to it. Nothing. We were all drowning as much in self pity as in alcohol. What is so very maddening with our malady is its *sameness.* Whether banker, builder, athlete, artist, or urchin, this disease tends to the same course, always down. The symptoms, too, seem invariably the same. You are no exception.

The good news is there is a solution. No matter how bleak things appear, there is a sunny day and freedom from the incomprehensible demoralization should you choose it. You have taken an important first step. It must be followed by another, and another, and another.

Claim your birthright...

warren

golfreggie

We were all "new" at some time in our journey. If I were to offer some experience, strength and hope, it would be this. See if you can make it your daily goal to get to a meeting each day/night. No exceptions, unless it is because you must be somewhere or do something for work or family. Go to a meeting, physically, not just post here, each and every day for 90 days. You may in all reality miss a meeting once in a while, but that is the exception rather than the rule. Don't drink in between meetings, that will get you 24 hours at a time. See if you can identify with a man (no ladies) who has some good recovery and see if you can become friends with him. Perhaps a sponsor/sponsee relationship. Then try the suggestions made by your sponsor and what you read in the big book. Try to read something in the Big Book daily. You may get tired of it, but keep it up. If you are in a closed discussion or step meeting, try to share, just a little. These things work. Trust me, the alternative is drinking. Now, my friend, the choice is yours. Pursue sobriety -- or sit back, do nothing, and drink your life away. My prayer is you will go to a meeting, today! "If you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps." God bless you brother, recovery is possible, do the work

Bird615

Welcome, tiddletop!

DarklingSong

Welcome to SR. Keep posting......it really does help. I know things seem bleak now but it is possible to quit. Take it one day at a time. Everyone here understand how hard it is, but it can be done.
Best wishes to you.

Snowydelrico

Tiddletop welcome.
What a great thing you have done.
Posting here can save your life.

I didn’t think it possible to live without drink or think it could be done to live a different way.
My old way was a miserable existence ( with alcohol)
My new way is so fantastic it blows my socks off every time I reflect on it (without alcohol)
1 year sober

You deserve a life that is truly full
Take care and above all be kind to yourself.

Rar

Welcome Tiddletop. Good for you that you've taken the first step toward sobriety. We've all had Day 1s. Stay close to SR and read the threads here. I spent a good portion of my first days here. It really helps. Post when you feel a need or want to contribute. If you feel in danger of drinking, post here first and wait for responses. We can help.

least

Welcome TT. Stopping drinking isn't easy, but it's simple. You just don't have that first drink. Pour out what you have left and make tomorrow your day one. You can do this!

Hevyn

Welcome Tiddletop - you're among friends who care & truly understand what you're going through.

What started out as a fun & relaxing thing to do, completely took over my life. I never dreamed I'd become dependent on it - but I was drinking all day in the end. I turned into a different person when it was in my system - a very unlikeable, argumentative one. You can get your life back - we will help.

Stephan2018

I'm glad you posted, and hope you'll post again tomorrow and every day after. We all understand how you feel, but we also know that putting ourselves down and saying we don't deserve help isn't true. You've already taken the step to reach out to us. I'm not an expert, so will leave expert advice to others, but do your best not to buy into the depressive, hopeless thinking that your drinking is making you believe is rational or true. Alcohol lies to us. I'm 20 days into my recovery (I've failed before, but won't ever ever drink again), and while it's not easy, it's absolutely something you can do. You mentioned you're nearly 50 with a professional job and nice home, etc. I'm past the 50 mark, a moderately successful executive, with a home and family, and so can identify with where your coming from. Alcohol doesn't care how old or successful we are. It's happy to take it all away from us. No better time to quit than now. Get input from others more knowledgeable than I about any concerns you may have about quitting cold-turkey without medical supervision depending upon how much you drink. That said, it's what I did.