RP4595

I have to be done with drinking. I keep getting to day 4 then folding for a few days then 4 more days sober. I'm sick of this cycle. Up until now the only real reason i think i wanted to stop was worrying about my long term health. Now i am at the point where it's just not any fun. Although I exercise daily, eat well, run a business and have a full family life with wife and kids, i know i am leaving a lot of potential and life on the table wasting hours away drinking.

I believe i am finally at the point where i'm just sick of it. I reached out to two close friends who have quit in the past and asked them to help be accountability partners to me and i'm really hoping this sticks as i don't want to drink anymore at all.

Heres to getting off the rollercoaster of binging

chowchow

Hi,

I have had MANY day ones. I don't know why but something changed in me in January that really put the fear in me about my drinking. I was terrified of what I was doing to my body and my mind. It's been a daily effort to stay on the straight and narrow and I am trying not to think of it in the long term because that overwhelms me. I am going to AA and taking it one day or one hour at a time. I know AA isn't for everyone but I find it helpful,

I too have what appears to be externally a good life. A husband and a daughter, a good job, amongst many other things. But for a long time I've been a miserable, anxious, depressed and general wreck.

I hope you stick around.

JJ991

This was me too, spot on.

I finally had enough last year at the end of Sept just after a heavy weekend of drinking for my birthday. I'm at 5 months now.

Stick with it RP, time to get off the treadmill.

elnotcho

It seems so easy. But this **** sucks you back in. Rationally, it makes no sense to continue drinking. This addiction is very powerful. Good luck.

least

I hope our support can help you get sober for good.

Dee74

Sounds like a good decision RP.
Whats your plan to back that up?

D

RP4595

I'm sitting here completely disgusted with hpw I've poisoned myself. It feels different this time. Dribbling isn't fun at all anymore. For how well I treat mt body otherwise with diet and exercise I deserve so much better

I'm literally nauseous thinking of what I did to myself. This is how I felt when I quit for over 5 years in my 20s. I have that sane feeling. Here's to at least 5 more. No more poison

RetiredGuy

RP, it is hard work but you will be extremely happy if you are sucessful. There is a lot of great support here to get you through the tough times. These forums are the reason I recently completed my first sober year and I have never been happier. I wish you luck!

RP4595

Day 3. The thought of drinking again repulses me and im still feeling disgusted. Excited to leave that past in the past. Usually this is when urges cone back. This time feels way way different. I feel confident that I'm finally done

August252015

Hi RP - I'll echo Dee's question- what about a plan for permanent recovery this time? Mine is AA and it saved my life- there's lots of options and people around here can tell you of success in sobriety with other methods. A plan of action, not simply hoping, is certainly what I have need.

RP4595

Honestly this is exactly how I felt at 24 when i quit cold turkey for almost 6 years and never missed it fir a minute. We then moved to a new state and all of our neighbors were 30 years older than us. None even said hi. 6 weeks later one stopped by with a 6 pack. I didn't want to be rude so I had three and that was it. Back on the binging.
I've Been finding that AAand focusing on it for ne just brings my mind to it. Im so sick of drinking at this point I really think I'm just done. I told my friends and family. A free are checking in on me but i feel great. No urges or anything. Just disgust that it took me this long to get sick of it...

I can't say it's the best plan or one that works for everyone but I'm really not concerned at this point. I just feel done with it all and happy and excited to live a sober life.

Dee74

One of the ways I used to drink again was to believe that focusing on not drinking made me want to drink more.

I dunno about you but thats a very passive way to look at myself.

I had choices and I had determination and strength - convincing myself not to use those things was a mistake.

Relying on willpower was futile because part of my will wanted to drink. Drinking was the way I 'fixed things'

I needed a pretty good plan to give me other ways to fix things, help me make the lifestyle changes I needed to, and find me the right support for me to stay sober, even when I wanted to drink.

I think you might find some useful ideas here:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ery-plans.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)

Take charge of your recovery

D

RP4595

Thanks Dee, I appreciate that!

I would say I didn't feel when i quit for nearly 6 years or now that willpower had anything to do with it. I guess right or wrong that's what's clicking in my head right now. I feel ive finally gotten clarity as to the fact that alcohol is truly poison and is doing nothing positive for me, and i mean nothing. I don't feel like I'm giving anything up,I feel like I'm just taking control of my life back. The thought of drinking again makes me feel literally sick. I enjoy so many other hobbies and interest and have too many good things and poeple in my life to waste even one more hour with booze.
I'm going to stay connected here as reading others stories helped wake me up to reality. I don't feel the need for any willpower though. I just feel done

RP4595

Day 4 and feeling even more done if that's possible. I guess if anything more embarrassed for allowing it to continue as long as I did. That's spilt milk at this point but still stings
Here's a water toast to my first day 5 since April tomorrow

RP4595

My first day 5 in 10 months and my first in 11 years where I don't feel im missing out on anything. Feeling more clear each day. Bring on day 6

Rar

Keep on going RP.

Komplex

Congrats on day 5! Keep plowing!

RP4595

Thanks everyone! I'm going to stay connected in the class of Feb thread. Day 6 here no urges, good to go. Much love to all of you

Blondescorp

RP I also have the best friends and family and my husband is my rock. He’s the only one that I can be completely honest with.
I’m wishing you the best.
Day 1 for me

RP4595

If you truly dont feel you are giving something up then you will be at day 6 and beyond in NO time. If you feel you are still missing out on something then it will be a tough road to plow. It took me a while to get to the point i realized i'm not giving anything up. Good luck on your journey, being here is a good start