sickk&tired

So here it is, the eve before my significant other leaves for 4 months. I'm 72 days sober and feeling good, but this is totally going to shake things up for me. Today I actually entertained the idea of having just one shot of vodka....for some reason that warm fuzzy feeling that used to give me seemed like something i so desperately wanted. I one-minute-at-a-timed my way out of it, but I'm really really fearful of the upcoming 4 months.

I don't really expect anyone to say anything here, I think I just need to write this all out for myself; as I'm in a bit of denial about this upcoming change and need to start facing it.

Him being gone is going to mean so much time alone......I mean i have my friends and I have my work, etc etc. But I wont have that reminder laying next to me at 3 am of what I should be grateful for. A big nudge in getting me to stop the drinking is him calling me out on the fact that I habitually reeked of alcohol and didn't remember entire conversations we'd have at 1 in the afternoon because i was wasted. I'm afraid that with him gone, I'll feel "free" to get as drunk as I want without anyone noticing. I dont want to go there again. I have to stay strong. I refuse to give back my 60 day chip.

thanks for reading.

ted

PRAYING FOR YOU.....ted

Sange

You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. And I can relate to one minute at a timing it. I do that with life. Your never truly alone if someone is praying for you... we will be.

lulu70

My prayers are with you as well. Keep coming here and posting. Maybe we can help you get through it.

Love and hugs--

cuppycake

hang in there S&T---
dont lose sight of how miserable life is when youre in captivity----
and the despair in your mind when youre not honest with yourself and others.
Be good to yourself-----

you deserve it!!

Frost

Stay strong and remember, it starts with 1, who knows where and if it will end again.





'You who are on the road, must have a code that you can live by. And so, become yourself, because the past, is just a good-bye.'



'One life you got to do what you should.'

sickk&tired

Thank you all for your kind words and prayers. This morning was really rough, he left and I cried myself back to sleep. But I woke up sober, and thats a good thing.

I really appreciate your replies, they make me feel less alone.

-bea