allowing and growing HAPPINESS
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
allowing and growing HAPPINESS
We've had 100 days of Happiness info posted here before, and now I found info on courses from the non-profit Happiness foundation.
The more I actively seek out happiness, joy and having fun, the quicker and easier it's been to recover from trauma, pain and sadness.
Other thoughts on allowing and growing good feels?
The more I actively seek out happiness, joy and having fun, the quicker and easier it's been to recover from trauma, pain and sadness.
Other thoughts on allowing and growing good feels?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 994
I am also low on ideas on that score too. Nearly 4 years post divorce you'd think life would be getting better but it still has bumps in the road and I am still grieving the loss of my daughters in my life, my life pre-alcoholic and the 20 years I wasted on him.
I think a way to allow good feelings to grow in the initial stages is to learn from our mistakes and forgive ourselves. Be as kind to ourselves as we are to our alcoholics. Realise we deserve to be happy too and take time out of each day to do something that makes us smile. Learnt to live alone. Do not jump into something too soon with another person. Find out what we like. I spent so long people pleasing I didn't even know how I like my eggs or the fact I was allowed brown bread even tho everyone else in the house ate white. Listen to music, walk in nature....plan trips to places we want to see. I had the chance to see the whole of Europe. I went on a shoe string budget and travelled it by bus. The memories of those trips carry me through the sad times that still hit me out of the blue. Having pets helps. My cats have been a godsend to me. They give me a lot of joy. Remember nothing, bad feelings, sadness, grief is forever.
I think a way to allow good feelings to grow in the initial stages is to learn from our mistakes and forgive ourselves. Be as kind to ourselves as we are to our alcoholics. Realise we deserve to be happy too and take time out of each day to do something that makes us smile. Learnt to live alone. Do not jump into something too soon with another person. Find out what we like. I spent so long people pleasing I didn't even know how I like my eggs or the fact I was allowed brown bread even tho everyone else in the house ate white. Listen to music, walk in nature....plan trips to places we want to see. I had the chance to see the whole of Europe. I went on a shoe string budget and travelled it by bus. The memories of those trips carry me through the sad times that still hit me out of the blue. Having pets helps. My cats have been a godsend to me. They give me a lot of joy. Remember nothing, bad feelings, sadness, grief is forever.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
I've been thinking recently about reviving the 100 Days Thread - funny that you mentioned that.... it was a GREAT exercise in focusing on positivity.
Here's what I know - what I pay attention to, grows.
So when I focus solely on the problems, I'm simultaneously pushing the solutions away - because I can't bring in positive changes while I'm marinating in negativity.
I also get very general about the things - because beauty is EVERYWHERE when we decide to open up & see it. Yesterday there was this gorgeous moment while I was in my backyard & the sun split through the trees just right & the song on the radio was perfect & the breeze picked up just enough for me to hear DD's voice as she sang along from the other side of the yard & I just stood there, appreciating that it was happening, knowing it would be fleeting, but SO HAPPY to be aware enough to live In The Now instead of letting all these moments slide right by me.
When I see a couple in public that is obviously in love & adorable, I get gooey inside instead of envious - I can step back & appreciate that good, loving relationships DO exist.
When I hear myself speaking from a position of lack (not enough money!) I force myself to go back & turn it positive (soon I'll have more money than I can spend!).
I also keep in mind that our solutions don't always arrive in the box we expect to receive - so instead of focusing on getting things "my" way, I try to be open to receiving from unexpected sources & avenues.
Other thoughts on allowing and growing good feels?
So when I focus solely on the problems, I'm simultaneously pushing the solutions away - because I can't bring in positive changes while I'm marinating in negativity.
I also get very general about the things - because beauty is EVERYWHERE when we decide to open up & see it. Yesterday there was this gorgeous moment while I was in my backyard & the sun split through the trees just right & the song on the radio was perfect & the breeze picked up just enough for me to hear DD's voice as she sang along from the other side of the yard & I just stood there, appreciating that it was happening, knowing it would be fleeting, but SO HAPPY to be aware enough to live In The Now instead of letting all these moments slide right by me.
When I see a couple in public that is obviously in love & adorable, I get gooey inside instead of envious - I can step back & appreciate that good, loving relationships DO exist.
When I hear myself speaking from a position of lack (not enough money!) I force myself to go back & turn it positive (soon I'll have more money than I can spend!).
I also keep in mind that our solutions don't always arrive in the box we expect to receive - so instead of focusing on getting things "my" way, I try to be open to receiving from unexpected sources & avenues.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
There's a great playtime exercise for adults and kids to expand the mind, spirit and allow thoughts and energy of ABUNDANT finances.
Money is simply a flow of energy.
Take a new, empty notebook... one per person...
On the first day, write $1000 at the top of the page. The goal for this day is to fully spend the $1000 with fun and joy. No need to get bogged down in details or judgements -- this is a time to mentally let all that go!
One catch... and this is REALLY important! The game player has to spend the money only on themselves. This isn't to help out others. It's to expand the imagination and change our own way of thinking. Money comes in, money goes out, no strings, no attachment, each day of the game.
On each continuing day, double the amount written at the top of the page. Then spend it ALL, with joy and fun.
The neuorplasticity of the brain is AMAZING. Exercises like these can quickly start building new pathways in the brain, supporting physical healing and growth, counteracting the damage stress and trauma causes.
Money is simply a flow of energy.
Take a new, empty notebook... one per person...
On the first day, write $1000 at the top of the page. The goal for this day is to fully spend the $1000 with fun and joy. No need to get bogged down in details or judgements -- this is a time to mentally let all that go!
One catch... and this is REALLY important! The game player has to spend the money only on themselves. This isn't to help out others. It's to expand the imagination and change our own way of thinking. Money comes in, money goes out, no strings, no attachment, each day of the game.
On each continuing day, double the amount written at the top of the page. Then spend it ALL, with joy and fun.
The neuorplasticity of the brain is AMAZING. Exercises like these can quickly start building new pathways in the brain, supporting physical healing and growth, counteracting the damage stress and trauma causes.
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