In a bad way
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 13
In a bad way
Hi all I am new. I've just found this site and it seems a brilliant source of support. I am in a bad place.
A bit about me - working mum of 2 young kids, busy life (too busy), lots of cr*p going on, very little time to unwind in the evenings... A nice drink always helped to speed up the unwinding... And now I have an alcohol problem.
I am desperate to kick the poison but I literally cannot sleep without it. I've tried the herbal alternatives etc but even if I manage to fall asleep (an elusive magic) I wake a couple of hours later sweating, heart pounding and wide awake. I've always got a mega busy day and the kids wake early without fail... So I curse myself and go pour a very large glass of spirit just to get enough rest to cope with the next day. But I often feel rubbish and now the anxiety has started to take hold and I find I'm unable to cope with little problems that would never have fazed me before I got myself into this toxic cycle. I don't know if it's anxiety causing insomnia, causing the problem with booze, or actually the booze withdrawal making me anxious??? I need to fix this.
Has anyone else come from a similar situation? I would really appreciate some advice on where to go from here. Did anyone use sleeping pills for a temporary period just to get over the alcohol withdrawal? I just want to be able to sleep, and function normally .... thanks x
A bit about me - working mum of 2 young kids, busy life (too busy), lots of cr*p going on, very little time to unwind in the evenings... A nice drink always helped to speed up the unwinding... And now I have an alcohol problem.
I am desperate to kick the poison but I literally cannot sleep without it. I've tried the herbal alternatives etc but even if I manage to fall asleep (an elusive magic) I wake a couple of hours later sweating, heart pounding and wide awake. I've always got a mega busy day and the kids wake early without fail... So I curse myself and go pour a very large glass of spirit just to get enough rest to cope with the next day. But I often feel rubbish and now the anxiety has started to take hold and I find I'm unable to cope with little problems that would never have fazed me before I got myself into this toxic cycle. I don't know if it's anxiety causing insomnia, causing the problem with booze, or actually the booze withdrawal making me anxious??? I need to fix this.
Has anyone else come from a similar situation? I would really appreciate some advice on where to go from here. Did anyone use sleeping pills for a temporary period just to get over the alcohol withdrawal? I just want to be able to sleep, and function normally .... thanks x
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
It is alcohol withdrawal that causes that sleep disturbance, racing heart, racing thoughts, anxiety. It will get worse unless you quit.
The first few days to a month or so sober, sleep was elusive for me. I treated myself like I was recovering from a life-threatening illness...because I was.
It's just uncomfortable - no two ways around it. I didn't, "take anything" - that was what got me into trouble in the first place. Just a lot of healthy food, a little exercise and slept when my body would let me. That wasn't always every night for hours in a row. Some nights I was up more than I was asleep. Lack of sleep for a couple weeks won't kill you. Alcohol will.
If you are worried, see a doctor. Otherwise, it's just a matter of staying away from the drink long enough for the body to heal.
The first few days to a month or so sober, sleep was elusive for me. I treated myself like I was recovering from a life-threatening illness...because I was.
It's just uncomfortable - no two ways around it. I didn't, "take anything" - that was what got me into trouble in the first place. Just a lot of healthy food, a little exercise and slept when my body would let me. That wasn't always every night for hours in a row. Some nights I was up more than I was asleep. Lack of sleep for a couple weeks won't kill you. Alcohol will.
If you are worried, see a doctor. Otherwise, it's just a matter of staying away from the drink long enough for the body to heal.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 13
Thanks
Thank you biminiblue, been reading the quitting experiences thread and looks like insomnia is a common occurrence. In a way it's a relief to hear the alcohol is creating most of my anxiety, and it's not just me having a nervous breakdown...
Did you manage to hold down a normal life straight after you quit? I find it so hard (and dangerous) to function on next to no sleep. I haven't told work about my issues as the shame of them knowing would make me even worse... Thanks again for your advice x
Did you manage to hold down a normal life straight after you quit? I find it so hard (and dangerous) to function on next to no sleep. I haven't told work about my issues as the shame of them knowing would make me even worse... Thanks again for your advice x
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
as with bimini, i didnt sleep for crap for a month or 2.
dont think i got more than 2 hours of good sleep a night the first 2 weeks or so.then about 4 ish hours.
working a full time job framing houses plus being my mothers caregiver( dimentia) plus learning how to live without alcohol, plus taking care of everything else, i would be exhausted at the end of the day yet still only get about 4 hours of sleep.i didnt use sleep aids for 2 reasons:
- i heard too much bad about them- people getting addicted to them without realizing it.
- im an addict- i can get addicted to anything that i perceive to help me.
i really didnt know what functioning normally was, but how i was fiunctioning was good to me- it beat the hell out of the non functioning drunk i was.
good sleep eventually came.
dont think i got more than 2 hours of good sleep a night the first 2 weeks or so.then about 4 ish hours.
working a full time job framing houses plus being my mothers caregiver( dimentia) plus learning how to live without alcohol, plus taking care of everything else, i would be exhausted at the end of the day yet still only get about 4 hours of sleep.i didnt use sleep aids for 2 reasons:
- i heard too much bad about them- people getting addicted to them without realizing it.
- im an addict- i can get addicted to anything that i perceive to help me.
i really didnt know what functioning normally was, but how i was fiunctioning was good to me- it beat the hell out of the non functioning drunk i was.
good sleep eventually came.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,246
Welcome. I second what BiminiBlue wrote. For me all those symptoms were related to having gotten trapped in the addictive cycle. With time those symptoms will ease up....the timeframe is different for everyone and can even be different for different episodes of quitting ( I have sometimes suffered awful insomnia, other times not). The first week, tends to be accompanied by a lot of anxiety. But it does get better and things level out. If you feel you can go to a doctor, they will be able to give you meds to ease the withdrawal.
The important thing is to quit. You don't have to keep suffering like this. SR is the most amazing place to seek support and advice. Keep posting, it really does help.
Best wishes.
The important thing is to quit. You don't have to keep suffering like this. SR is the most amazing place to seek support and advice. Keep posting, it really does help.
Best wishes.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Originally Posted by yellowmaisey 
Thank you biminiblue, been reading the quitting experiences thread and looks like insomnia is a common occurrence. In a way it's a relief to hear the alcohol is creating most of my anxiety, and it's not just me having a nervous breakdown...
Did you manage to hold down a normal life straight after you quit? I find it so hard (and dangerous) to function on next to no sleep. I haven't told work about my issues as the shame of them knowing would make me even worse... Thanks again for your advice x
Did you manage to hold down a normal life straight after you quit? I find it so hard (and dangerous) to function on next to no sleep. I haven't told work about my issues as the shame of them knowing would make me even worse... Thanks again for your advice x
Trust the process of healing and just know it is going to take time.
A lot of the worry and catastrophizing I did was just part of the whole nervous system withdrawal. Panicky, anxious.
Stay off the drink and you'll heal.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
I also didn't sleep really for a few months. Mind racing/spinning about "what next?"...future "stuff" that still hasn't and probably won't happen to me,ect..basically worrying constantly and on 'high alert'.. I still only sleep about 4-6hrs tops and that's kinda broken sleep. Pretty sure I have like adhd or something,but ehhhh..I do however think/function on the sleep I get much better not hungover or obsessing over the "when can I get a drink to calm down" thoughts. Give sobriety some time to 'take' and you'll notice the difference.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 327
I can also speak to sleep issues. I had insomnia for a solid 4 weeks and also thought I was losing my mind. It got better over the course of a few months. Now when I wake up I feel well rested and don't have that headache and foggy feeling. If you stick it out, it will get better!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 4,553
Maisey welcome to SR!
It's true. Broken sleep, waking with a racing heart and crippling anxiety appear to be alcohol withdrawal. I got to the point where no matter how much I drank on an evening I woke in the early hours just like that. The only answer is to stop the alcohol altogether and it will surely right itself over time. Of course that's not a simple thing and like me you have 2 young children. It's really hard to function as a working mum and go through that awful first week. I took a week off work and just "existed"for a week. If you feel like it's too much to cope with I'd say don't let that put you off giving up but please go to the doctors for support. You may get medication to help withdrawal very short term which should also help you relax a bit more too. Better to be guided by a professional than self medicate. I certainly wouldn't trust myself to take over the counter medication which is potentially addictive and some medicines contain alcohol too.
Is there anyone who could help you with the kids for a week?
Do they have a dad?
Are your parents around?
Can you take a week off work?
A little white lie of having flu wouldn't hurt would it?
Are you willing to see your doctor?
Main thing is don't delay. Insomnia is one of the things that keep us in active addiction for far too long. That and withdrawals. But please please be safe. The doctor is the only truly safe route for a detox.
Oh and the great news is that you have a whole new wonderful life woth your kids to look forward to. Honestly there is nothing but great things to come!
Rooting for you Maisey. Stay on touch and post as much as you like xxx
It's true. Broken sleep, waking with a racing heart and crippling anxiety appear to be alcohol withdrawal. I got to the point where no matter how much I drank on an evening I woke in the early hours just like that. The only answer is to stop the alcohol altogether and it will surely right itself over time. Of course that's not a simple thing and like me you have 2 young children. It's really hard to function as a working mum and go through that awful first week. I took a week off work and just "existed"for a week. If you feel like it's too much to cope with I'd say don't let that put you off giving up but please go to the doctors for support. You may get medication to help withdrawal very short term which should also help you relax a bit more too. Better to be guided by a professional than self medicate. I certainly wouldn't trust myself to take over the counter medication which is potentially addictive and some medicines contain alcohol too.
Is there anyone who could help you with the kids for a week?
Do they have a dad?
Are your parents around?
Can you take a week off work?
A little white lie of having flu wouldn't hurt would it?
Are you willing to see your doctor?
Main thing is don't delay. Insomnia is one of the things that keep us in active addiction for far too long. That and withdrawals. But please please be safe. The doctor is the only truly safe route for a detox.
Oh and the great news is that you have a whole new wonderful life woth your kids to look forward to. Honestly there is nothing but great things to come!
Rooting for you Maisey. Stay on touch and post as much as you like xxx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 13
Amazing
I'm really grateful for the replies, it's good to know I have support. I've tried to post on other forums while trying to give up but not many folk respond.
Yes kids Dad is around and tbh I don't think he knows the extent of the problem - we are always knackered due to kids sleeping badly etc so he often heads to bed before me so I will sneak in my booze fix then. He isnt a problem drinker. I can't really take time off work as have had time off recently but guess if I am in the depths of insomniac despair (pretty likely) then I genuinely won't be able to go in.
As luck would have it, the doctor had a cancelled appointment on Monday so I have an appointment! They are gold dust where I live. So having to take youngest child along with me and try articulate my situation without sounding too upset in front of child but enough for doc to realise what a screwed up emotional/mental situation I am in. We have one parent living close (my mum) and she is great but has her own stuff going on so I wouldn't want to burden her and make her worry.
Don't hate me, I'm going to have one last weekend of drinking myself to sleep (I even hate the taste of it now) then on Monday I'm going to take the first step towards getting this poison out of my system.
Thanks again for all the support so far xx
Yes kids Dad is around and tbh I don't think he knows the extent of the problem - we are always knackered due to kids sleeping badly etc so he often heads to bed before me so I will sneak in my booze fix then. He isnt a problem drinker. I can't really take time off work as have had time off recently but guess if I am in the depths of insomniac despair (pretty likely) then I genuinely won't be able to go in.
As luck would have it, the doctor had a cancelled appointment on Monday so I have an appointment! They are gold dust where I live. So having to take youngest child along with me and try articulate my situation without sounding too upset in front of child but enough for doc to realise what a screwed up emotional/mental situation I am in. We have one parent living close (my mum) and she is great but has her own stuff going on so I wouldn't want to burden her and make her worry.
Don't hate me, I'm going to have one last weekend of drinking myself to sleep (I even hate the taste of it now) then on Monday I'm going to take the first step towards getting this poison out of my system.
Thanks again for all the support so far xx
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Hi and welcome
I didn't sleep for the first week or so. Had an hour or 2 then woke up fitful and sweating. But it does pass and now even just 19 days in I am having brilliant rejuvenative sleep. DeEp peaceful sleep. I realise what I thought was sleep when drinking was actually just a pass out drunken stupor.
Even in the first week at least i knew even if I'd had no sleep I didn't have a hangover and that kept me going. I work and have a young family too but was just going through the motions drinking a bottle of wine a night. I'm amazed at how much I'm doing now and doing it properly even enjoying it and I'm not even 3 weeks sober.
Tomorrow never comes. What's the point in waiting till Monday. Just think if you don't drink at the weekend you'll already be on day 3 by Monday. Or day 4 if you don't drink tonight ☺
I didn't sleep for the first week or so. Had an hour or 2 then woke up fitful and sweating. But it does pass and now even just 19 days in I am having brilliant rejuvenative sleep. DeEp peaceful sleep. I realise what I thought was sleep when drinking was actually just a pass out drunken stupor.
Even in the first week at least i knew even if I'd had no sleep I didn't have a hangover and that kept me going. I work and have a young family too but was just going through the motions drinking a bottle of wine a night. I'm amazed at how much I'm doing now and doing it properly even enjoying it and I'm not even 3 weeks sober.
Tomorrow never comes. What's the point in waiting till Monday. Just think if you don't drink at the weekend you'll already be on day 3 by Monday. Or day 4 if you don't drink tonight ☺
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Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 4,553
Okay Maisey so with some support it's doable. Of course now is best but failing today make Monday your day! Don't let your addiction talk you out of it when Monday comes!
Scary? Yes
Seem impossible right now? Yes
Can't imagine a peaceful nights sleep without alcohol? Yes
Well I and many others are here to tell you it is not only possible but the best decision you will ever make and we are behind you all the way.
Take care and see you on Monday!
Scary? Yes
Seem impossible right now? Yes
Can't imagine a peaceful nights sleep without alcohol? Yes
Well I and many others are here to tell you it is not only possible but the best decision you will ever make and we are behind you all the way.
Take care and see you on Monday!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I don't see what purpose is served by drinking for three more days...unless you are going to do a medical detox.
If so, at least cut way back this weekend instead of looking at it as a last hurrah. Be careful, we don't get unlimited drunks - one of them will catch up to you, and you could end up injured or worse.
If so, at least cut way back this weekend instead of looking at it as a last hurrah. Be careful, we don't get unlimited drunks - one of them will catch up to you, and you could end up injured or worse.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Hi yellowmaisey welcome
yeah I used alcohol to help me sleep for years..most nights I really just passed out tho.
The first sober night I didn't sleep at all...but it got better from there.. by a week to 10 days I was sleeping pretty well.
I also recommend you stop now, not in a few days.
Why dig a deeper hole - you gotta start climbing up sometime, may as well be now ?
D.
yeah I used alcohol to help me sleep for years..most nights I really just passed out tho.
The first sober night I didn't sleep at all...but it got better from there.. by a week to 10 days I was sleeping pretty well.
I also recommend you stop now, not in a few days.
Why dig a deeper hole - you gotta start climbing up sometime, may as well be now ?
D.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
I always thought I could not sleep without a drink.
I drank every night.
I worked full time.
I was busy like you.
When I look back now, I never really knew if I had problems falling sleep, I used to drink myself silly then I would pass out.
When I stopped drinking the first few nights were hard, but then after that I slept and slept and slept.
I think I was so tired from passing as opposed to falling asleep naturally that I needed to sleep and sleep.
I did use over the counter sleeping tablets for a short time at first but then I started sleeping better.
I know for I had to change my routine.
For me I would sit on the same spot on the sofa, watching the same soap on the TV, drinking from the same glass as I did every single day of the week.
I got off the sofa, turned the TV off and smashed my favourite glass.
I will have 6 years in Feb 2018 and I would never go back to the way I was.
I wish you the best xx
I drank every night.
I worked full time.
I was busy like you.
When I look back now, I never really knew if I had problems falling sleep, I used to drink myself silly then I would pass out.
When I stopped drinking the first few nights were hard, but then after that I slept and slept and slept.
I think I was so tired from passing as opposed to falling asleep naturally that I needed to sleep and sleep.
I did use over the counter sleeping tablets for a short time at first but then I started sleeping better.
I know for I had to change my routine.
For me I would sit on the same spot on the sofa, watching the same soap on the TV, drinking from the same glass as I did every single day of the week.
I got off the sofa, turned the TV off and smashed my favourite glass.
I will have 6 years in Feb 2018 and I would never go back to the way I was.
I wish you the best xx
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 13
I promise this is not an excuse - I'm going away for the weekend and tomorrow night NEED to get just a few hours sleep. Which I know I won't get if I stop outright. I know it's far from ideal. I can't take much more self-hatred, believe me there is plenty.
Sunday night is the night I begin. Thank you.
Xx
Sunday night is the night I begin. Thank you.
Xx
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
I forgot to say on my post.....
I used to say I could not fall asleep without a massive drink. The truth was I did not really know if that was true or not as for a significant length of time I never tried.
Trust yourself and have faith in yourself.
I used to say I could not fall asleep without a massive drink. The truth was I did not really know if that was true or not as for a significant length of time I never tried.
Trust yourself and have faith in yourself.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 13
Thanks again for sharing your experiences. It's reassuring to know I wasn't the only self-medicator and that you've managed to become alcohol free despite using it to sleep. I've tried not using it, but end up tossing and turning... In reality I'm probably detoxing and suffering with the insomnia through that.
Going to start my Alco Free journey now. If I don't sleep, I don't sleep but at least I'm not poisoned. Need to remember this in the horrendous small hours ... Xx
Going to start my Alco Free journey now. If I don't sleep, I don't sleep but at least I'm not poisoned. Need to remember this in the horrendous small hours ... Xx
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Hi Maisey, welcome to Day 1 Why not come and join our january class too for everyone getting sober this month.
Realistically yo u prob will sleep badly for the next few nights but as you say you won't have a hangover and will probably be surprised at how good you do feel during the day just from not drinking, even without sleep. when you do sleep again you'll be shocked at how good sleep can really be
Why not come and join our january class too for everyone getting sober this month.Realistically yo u prob will sleep badly for the next few nights but as you say you won't have a hangover and will probably be surprised at how good you do feel during the day just from not drinking, even without sleep. when you do sleep again you'll be shocked at how good sleep can really be
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