I don't know how to stop
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 4
I don't know how to stop
I have been addicted to prescription pain pills for several years (Vicodin, Percocet and Tramadol). I feel tremendous shame. I am the sole support for my family and my husband is disabled so long-term rehab isn't an option. I couldn't afford to be out of work. I don't want to be this way anymore. I think about pills all the time. My husband keeps them locked up and doles them out to keep me from taking too many at once. It's causing huge problems between us. I'm always trying to come up with ways to get him to give me more. It's disgusting. It's like my brain is in a loop and I can't think past the pills in that safe. I've lost my dignity. I don't know how to take the first step but I know I can't stay like this. I want to redeem myself in my own eyes, but the more ashamed and worthless I feel, the more I want a pill to feel better. I just can't find my way out of this hole. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 342
Hi
Presently on day 3 of withdrawal from my addiction it isn't t the same but I don't think it really matters. I mean sure if you can find people who have stopped the pills that you have or who have a similar story that would definitely be of support.
But the loop you talk about is exactly what my addiction does to me fit example tonight in the last 90 mind or so it has ramped up its attacks on me in my mind to go engage my addiction.
That's why I came on here ive been pacing I'm restless I'm eating sugar to try to curb the onslaught.
I don't know if there's a God but I pray anyway seems to help in some vague fashion for me but I think the harsh fact is that in early abstinence it just hurts for a time there is no way round it.
Obviously I have no experience with painkillers so I would definitely suggest going to a doctor or organisation that has experience of that particular problem.
Also seek out people on here try looking at other posts or threads are what you find I think the people who run the site may also offer up some guidance.
But yes the loop the obsession to keep going is a trap that we hAve to escape from and I believe firmly that if we want it bad enough we can and will recover our lives bAck to a healthy balance.
I read recently that one of the facts which is inescapable in early withdrawal and abstinence is addicts have to find a way to be comfortable with the discomfort.
Emotions of
Courage
Determination
Patience
Endurance
Trust
Acceptance
Gratitude
Which are the mentally of a winner
Have to replace the emotions of a victim
Self pity
Fear
Intolerance
Impatience
Selfishness.
Its a tough road but I am on it with you
God bless
I read daily recovery meditations
I have a sponsor in 12 step
I pray
I post on here
I write gratitude
And I know it's getting better slowly each day.
Your a winner you can do this!
G
Presently on day 3 of withdrawal from my addiction it isn't t the same but I don't think it really matters. I mean sure if you can find people who have stopped the pills that you have or who have a similar story that would definitely be of support.
But the loop you talk about is exactly what my addiction does to me fit example tonight in the last 90 mind or so it has ramped up its attacks on me in my mind to go engage my addiction.
That's why I came on here ive been pacing I'm restless I'm eating sugar to try to curb the onslaught.
I don't know if there's a God but I pray anyway seems to help in some vague fashion for me but I think the harsh fact is that in early abstinence it just hurts for a time there is no way round it.
Obviously I have no experience with painkillers so I would definitely suggest going to a doctor or organisation that has experience of that particular problem.
Also seek out people on here try looking at other posts or threads are what you find I think the people who run the site may also offer up some guidance.
But yes the loop the obsession to keep going is a trap that we hAve to escape from and I believe firmly that if we want it bad enough we can and will recover our lives bAck to a healthy balance.
I read recently that one of the facts which is inescapable in early withdrawal and abstinence is addicts have to find a way to be comfortable with the discomfort.
Emotions of
Courage
Determination
Patience
Endurance
Trust
Acceptance
Gratitude
Which are the mentally of a winner
Have to replace the emotions of a victim
Self pity
Fear
Intolerance
Impatience
Selfishness.
Its a tough road but I am on it with you
God bless
I read daily recovery meditations
I have a sponsor in 12 step
I pray
I post on here
I write gratitude
And I know it's getting better slowly each day.
Your a winner you can do this!
G
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 4
Withdrawals?
How do I handle the withdrawals? I have to go to work on Monday. I found an NA meeting near me tomorrow eve. I'm so scared, but I'm going to go. Do I have to speak?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 4
Hi
Presently on day 3 of withdrawal from my addiction it isn't t the same but I don't think it really matters. I mean sure if you can find people who have stopped the pills that you have or who have a similar story that would definitely be of support.
But the loop you talk about is exactly what my addiction does to me fit example tonight in the last 90 mind or so it has ramped up its attacks on me in my mind to go engage my addiction.
That's why I came on here ive been pacing I'm restless I'm eating sugar to try to curb the onslaught.
I don't know if there's a God but I pray anyway seems to help in some vague fashion for me but I think the harsh fact is that in early abstinence it just hurts for a time there is no way round it.
Obviously I have no experience with painkillers so I would definitely suggest going to a doctor or organisation that has experience of that particular problem.
Also seek out people on here try looking at other posts or threads are what you find I think the people who run the site may also offer up some guidance.
But yes the loop the obsession to keep going is a trap that we hAve to escape from and I believe firmly that if we want it bad enough we can and will recover our lives bAck to a healthy balance.
I read recently that one of the facts which is inescapable in early withdrawal and abstinence is addicts have to find a way to be comfortable with the discomfort.
Emotions of
Courage
Determination
Patience
Endurance
Trust
Acceptance
Gratitude
Which are the mentally of a winner
Have to replace the emotions of a victim
Self pity
Fear
Intolerance
Impatience
Selfishness.
Its a tough road but I am on it with you
God bless
I read daily recovery meditations
I have a sponsor in 12 step
I pray
I post on here
I write gratitude
And I know it's getting better slowly each day.
Your a winner you can do this!
G
Presently on day 3 of withdrawal from my addiction it isn't t the same but I don't think it really matters. I mean sure if you can find people who have stopped the pills that you have or who have a similar story that would definitely be of support.
But the loop you talk about is exactly what my addiction does to me fit example tonight in the last 90 mind or so it has ramped up its attacks on me in my mind to go engage my addiction.
That's why I came on here ive been pacing I'm restless I'm eating sugar to try to curb the onslaught.
I don't know if there's a God but I pray anyway seems to help in some vague fashion for me but I think the harsh fact is that in early abstinence it just hurts for a time there is no way round it.
Obviously I have no experience with painkillers so I would definitely suggest going to a doctor or organisation that has experience of that particular problem.
Also seek out people on here try looking at other posts or threads are what you find I think the people who run the site may also offer up some guidance.
But yes the loop the obsession to keep going is a trap that we hAve to escape from and I believe firmly that if we want it bad enough we can and will recover our lives bAck to a healthy balance.
I read recently that one of the facts which is inescapable in early withdrawal and abstinence is addicts have to find a way to be comfortable with the discomfort.
Emotions of
Courage
Determination
Patience
Endurance
Trust
Acceptance
Gratitude
Which are the mentally of a winner
Have to replace the emotions of a victim
Self pity
Fear
Intolerance
Impatience
Selfishness.
Its a tough road but I am on it with you
God bless
I read daily recovery meditations
I have a sponsor in 12 step
I pray
I post on here
I write gratitude
And I know it's getting better slowly each day.
Your a winner you can do this!
G
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 342
Alisa Turner- my prayer for you. YouTube.
I came off from messaging you
This song was just there
Waiting for me to listen
I hope it helps!
Regarding meeting you do not have to do anything at all
Just put one foot in front of the other
There will people there who can help you.
I'm so pleased you found a meeting
We all need others in the same boat it's a collective Power here that's the way out through our on pain be g help by each other.
G
I came off from messaging you
This song was just there
Waiting for me to listen
I hope it helps!
Regarding meeting you do not have to do anything at all
Just put one foot in front of the other
There will people there who can help you.
I'm so pleased you found a meeting
We all need others in the same boat it's a collective Power here that's the way out through our on pain be g help by each other.
G
for Withdrawals basically two ways- quit cold turkey and tough it out. Since your husband has control over the drugs maybe try to ween off. he can slowly half dose you but you know that won't happen. Good luck
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 131
You really should speak to your doctor before withdrawing from medication, I’ve seen friends come off prescription drugs cold turkey and it can be very rough especially as you are working. The doc should be able to help you through the process as it’s very, very different to coming off alcohol.
Welcome!
You are caught up in the dreadful vicious cycle of addiction. Your addiction is keeping you hooked by making you feel miserable about yourself. I hope that you are ready to take that leap of faith and know that you can do this. You can get through it!
You are caught up in the dreadful vicious cycle of addiction. Your addiction is keeping you hooked by making you feel miserable about yourself. I hope that you are ready to take that leap of faith and know that you can do this. You can get through it!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 4
I am ready. Thank you. I have hit a point where I know I can't keep going down this road. I want a better life.
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