Moving out of Fiancé house
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 43
Moving out of Fiancé house
I've been a lurker here for years and in and out of sobriety but the last few months I've really noticed the deterioration of my health and quality of life so I'm done with booze for good. I'm only on day two but a 3/4 time a week drinker so I'm feeling pretty confident about it. Longest I've made it to is 42 days but that was when I still thought I could control it. I know I can't now. I binge every time 8-12 drinks. I get sloppy
That said I told my fiancé that I am moving out today. I'm not blaming him for my drinking but he is a pretty heavy drinker too and often initiates our drinking. I've lived on my own in the past and found it to be the easiest way to stay sober. I'm only moving 5 minutes away and I want to stay together. But I know that I need this to get myself on track and stay healthy. I feel like he wants me to keep drinking and is not good for my sobriety.
He wants me to stay and threatens to break up with me if I leave. I've already found a place and will move in 10 days. Losing the relationship is a chance I'll have to take. I need to be selfish and focus on me. I've tried so many times and so many ways. I just don't think I can get sober in this dysfunctional codependent relationship. At least not while living under the same roof.
Am I being too hasty? Anyone have experience with leaving a relationship when trying to stay sober?
That said I told my fiancé that I am moving out today. I'm not blaming him for my drinking but he is a pretty heavy drinker too and often initiates our drinking. I've lived on my own in the past and found it to be the easiest way to stay sober. I'm only moving 5 minutes away and I want to stay together. But I know that I need this to get myself on track and stay healthy. I feel like he wants me to keep drinking and is not good for my sobriety.
He wants me to stay and threatens to break up with me if I leave. I've already found a place and will move in 10 days. Losing the relationship is a chance I'll have to take. I need to be selfish and focus on me. I've tried so many times and so many ways. I just don't think I can get sober in this dysfunctional codependent relationship. At least not while living under the same roof.
Am I being too hasty? Anyone have experience with leaving a relationship when trying to stay sober?
Hi, lovingliving.
I think you are doing the right thing.
Whether your relationship will survive your goal to remain sober is a question that only time will reveal.
Good luck.
Glad you are making this change.
It will be worth it.
I think you are doing the right thing.
Whether your relationship will survive your goal to remain sober is a question that only time will reveal.
Good luck.
Glad you are making this change.
It will be worth it.
Sorry to hear of what you are going through.
Well done on deciding to get sober.
Regarding moving out and your other half, only you know what’s right for you.
I personally would avoid any hasty decisions.
How much does your partner know or understand of your struggle or your desire to get sober?
Well done on deciding to get sober.
Regarding moving out and your other half, only you know what’s right for you.
I personally would avoid any hasty decisions.
How much does your partner know or understand of your struggle or your desire to get sober?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 43
Thanks all! I know I'm making the right decision but it's hard because I do really love him. I just know this is not a healthy relationship and we've tried many times to get sober together. The only way I know how is to separate myself physically from him. At least until I can get a handle on it myself
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 573
He wants me to stay and threatens to break up with me if I leave.
That's not love. That's manipulation. True love would say "do what you need to do to be happy and healthy be it living with me or without me". Period.
Just my own take, I guess.
That's not love. That's manipulation. True love would say "do what you need to do to be happy and healthy be it living with me or without me". Period.
Just my own take, I guess.
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