struggling
Earth Child
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland
Posts: 2,004
struggling
Am struggling was at a service for people who have lost love ones
i have never really dealt with my father suicide 6 years ago never gotten help for it and when i do face it i self injure have eating disordered behavours , drink and take drugs av not been sober even thought i havent had drink or drugs in 2 years and 10 months at this moment in time i have nothing really want to drink and take drugs been thinking about it all day since being at this service i know it triggers me and maybe am better off not going to something like that if its going to makes me feel so bad but i have been wanting drink and drugs more at the moment anyway
tomorrow Am going to my friends house for Christmas unsure if there will be drink there but one of my friend's friend drinks normally in the morning as well and drinks even more in the afternoon when my friend went to vist his friend last week end unsure if he has issues or not anyway there maybe drink there my husband who dont drink will be keeping an eye on me its will be a few hours there and there is no way id be able to get drugs or drink as everything is closed my husband is normally with me most of the time anyway as he is my carer
hoping to go to an na meeting on boxing day or the day after
also i started to go to an recovery cafe where there are some support workers i can talk to them if i need to also have mental health crisis numbers i can call
i feel i need something to cope not really caring weather i get hurt or damaged i just want to be with my father
i have never really dealt with my father suicide 6 years ago never gotten help for it and when i do face it i self injure have eating disordered behavours , drink and take drugs av not been sober even thought i havent had drink or drugs in 2 years and 10 months at this moment in time i have nothing really want to drink and take drugs been thinking about it all day since being at this service i know it triggers me and maybe am better off not going to something like that if its going to makes me feel so bad but i have been wanting drink and drugs more at the moment anyway
tomorrow Am going to my friends house for Christmas unsure if there will be drink there but one of my friend's friend drinks normally in the morning as well and drinks even more in the afternoon when my friend went to vist his friend last week end unsure if he has issues or not anyway there maybe drink there my husband who dont drink will be keeping an eye on me its will be a few hours there and there is no way id be able to get drugs or drink as everything is closed my husband is normally with me most of the time anyway as he is my carer
hoping to go to an na meeting on boxing day or the day after
also i started to go to an recovery cafe where there are some support workers i can talk to them if i need to also have mental health crisis numbers i can call
i feel i need something to cope not really caring weather i get hurt or damaged i just want to be with my father
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 634
The death of a parent is hard enough without it being suicide, I'm so sorry. The unresolved feelings must be huge. You know that drink & drugs is not the answer though, your mind is trying to convince you that it is but please don't listen to it. You have come SO far, please don't go back now.
I can't pretend to know, but I wouldn't have thought your dad would want you to feel like this?
Hang on in there. Get to bed as soon as you can tonight. Can you tell your husband how you're feeling?
X
I can't pretend to know, but I wouldn't have thought your dad would want you to feel like this?
Hang on in there. Get to bed as soon as you can tonight. Can you tell your husband how you're feeling?
X
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I hope you can find some solace in being with other loved ones this Christmas, like your husband and your other relatives.
They all want you here - like we all do too
When you see your Dr, nurse or therapist again maybe it'd be good to mention the unresolved feelings you have about your stepdad and his death?
They may be able to help you resolve things?
D
They all want you here - like we all do too
When you see your Dr, nurse or therapist again maybe it'd be good to mention the unresolved feelings you have about your stepdad and his death?
They may be able to help you resolve things?
D
Earth Child
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland
Posts: 2,004
Am at my friend house as soon as I got there there was the smell of drink the friends house his friend was drinking already mike my friend knows we don't drink but he don't know I have a problem with drink and drugs am struggling a lot hopefully it goes OK
Earth Child
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland
Posts: 2,004
Every thing is OK I didn't drink anything apart from grape juice no alcohol in it going home soon feeling tired think am going to bed early tonight thank you all for your support and posts
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