Insomnia and feeling lost
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Join Date: Sep 2017
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Insomnia and feeling lost
I've been dealing with PAWS post acute withdrawal for a while now. Almost two years. The symptoms are insomnia and anxiety, poor concentration and depression. I don't know if or when the symptoms will go away. I'm trying to accept that they might never go away. Does anyone have advice that they can give? Been feeling really depressed lately. My life I feel will never be the same again, and I'll have to always manage my symptoms which will limit what I can and cannot do.
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Join Date: Dec 2014
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I suffer from anxiety and mild depression. I count a lot of my former drinking habit up to these,then toss in life(breakups,kid issues,ect). I'm somewhere around a year and still have times I need to take my meds. I try not to take them as prescribed because I don't want to get dependant on another substance. Talk to your Dr and be honest about your drinking and feelings/thoughts. Some nights I just simply can't sleep because of too much 'crap' running through my mind about work(self employed) and such. I've thought about getting a 'normal job', so I don't have to think as much. Just do my work and cash a check,but I always hated that too. 
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Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: North Carolina
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I'd also suggest getting checked for anxiety and depression. Sometimes quitting drinking uncovers other issues, and from personal experience, "years" is a long time live with untreated anxiety/depression.
The opposite of addiction is connection.
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: Oregon, USA
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A few years ago I wasn’t feeling well, kind of an all over ache and wasn’t sleeping. Doc did a full workup and there was nothing physically wrong with me. Got on a low dose of antidepressant and it did the trick.
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I can really relate to your post, although it sounds like I am much "newer" as in I have less time in sobriety than you. I've heard a doc assessment and meds can work wonders for certain individuals; their only regret being that they didn't seek medical help sooner.
For me I think it's a combination of things. Abusing my brain with alcohol and heavy drugs for so long set this level of high which I can't achieve in a sober mind state. I masked and buried so many painful emotions and memories with alcohol and drugs and now they all need to come to the surface and I have to get through them. No more shortcuts by numbing out, if that makes sense.
But "years" is a long time to suffer from depression, even mild. Is it trigged by a paricular thing? I know for me, loneliness really sets off my depression. So does not feeling like I have a purpose - some existential yearning. I feel empty inside.
I'm feeling that way right now, so posting here to lessen the loneliness. Looks like you're doing the same. Don't know if anything I said was helpful but I hope it gets better for you.
For me I think it's a combination of things. Abusing my brain with alcohol and heavy drugs for so long set this level of high which I can't achieve in a sober mind state. I masked and buried so many painful emotions and memories with alcohol and drugs and now they all need to come to the surface and I have to get through them. No more shortcuts by numbing out, if that makes sense.
But "years" is a long time to suffer from depression, even mild. Is it trigged by a paricular thing? I know for me, loneliness really sets off my depression. So does not feeling like I have a purpose - some existential yearning. I feel empty inside.
I'm feeling that way right now, so posting here to lessen the loneliness. Looks like you're doing the same. Don't know if anything I said was helpful but I hope it gets better for you.
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Originally Posted by mrrryahj 
I can really relate to your post, although it sounds like I am much "newer" as in I have less time in sobriety than you. I've heard a doc assessment and meds can work wonders for certain individuals; their only regret being that they didn't seek medical help sooner.
For me I think it's a combination of things. Abusing my brain with alcohol and heavy drugs for so long set this level of high which I can't achieve in a sober mind state. I masked and buried so many painful emotions and memories with alcohol and drugs and now they all need to come to the surface and I have to get through them. No more shortcuts by numbing out, if that makes sense.
But "years" is a long time to suffer from depression, even mild. Is it trigged by a paricular thing? I know for me, loneliness really sets off my depression. So does not feeling like I have a purpose - some existential yearning. I feel empty inside.
I'm feeling that way right now, so posting here to lessen the loneliness. Looks like you're doing the same. Don't know if anything I said was helpful but I hope it gets better for you.
For me I think it's a combination of things. Abusing my brain with alcohol and heavy drugs for so long set this level of high which I can't achieve in a sober mind state. I masked and buried so many painful emotions and memories with alcohol and drugs and now they all need to come to the surface and I have to get through them. No more shortcuts by numbing out, if that makes sense.
But "years" is a long time to suffer from depression, even mild. Is it trigged by a paricular thing? I know for me, loneliness really sets off my depression. So does not feeling like I have a purpose - some existential yearning. I feel empty inside.
I'm feeling that way right now, so posting here to lessen the loneliness. Looks like you're doing the same. Don't know if anything I said was helpful but I hope it gets better for you.
I did go to the dr at one point and he wanted to put me on an antidepressant. I'm afraid it'll have a stimulant effect like caffeine and make the insomnia worse but who knows maybe it's worth the risk. I wonder how long this has to go on.
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Join Date: Sep 2017
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it is. I went to a doctor and he just wanted to put me on Zoloft and I'm afraid it's gonna make my insomnia worse if I take it. The reason I have this in the first place was because of a drug called strattera combined with caffeine and nicotine abuse. Strattera is a drug similar to Zoloft and it freaks me out that it'll make my symptoms worse for years and years to come.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Pacific Coast
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So, if I'm reading your posts correctly, you have insomnia due to what you call "PAWS", which you are experiencing two years after discontinuing a drug (Strattera) originally prescribed for ADHD? Is this correct? Are/were you abusing the Strattera, or taking it strictly as prescribed by a physician? Are you currently taking any other drugs? Is alcohol part of the package in any way? Sorry I'm not able to glean this information from your posts.
The first step to solving any issue like this is to remove (even if it's just temporary) all the substances causing the problems so you can establish a useful baseline. Piling drugs on top of other drugs just muddies things up even worse.
Also, what non-pharmaceutical steps are you taking to address your insomnia? Do you eat healthy, get plenty of exercise, observe good sleep hygiene and habits, and meditate or use other mind/body calming techniques?
Hope you're able to get some answers, as I can definitely relate to how demoralizing and depressing chronic insomnia can be. You have friends here!
The first step to solving any issue like this is to remove (even if it's just temporary) all the substances causing the problems so you can establish a useful baseline. Piling drugs on top of other drugs just muddies things up even worse.
Also, what non-pharmaceutical steps are you taking to address your insomnia? Do you eat healthy, get plenty of exercise, observe good sleep hygiene and habits, and meditate or use other mind/body calming techniques?
Hope you're able to get some answers, as I can definitely relate to how demoralizing and depressing chronic insomnia can be. You have friends here!
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 1,065
Have you had blood work done? I know B12 can do a lot of crazy things and alcoholics are usually deficient. I had a double whammy, although my deficiency got blamed on my being a vegetarian . Pretty sure it was the drinking. I started taking a B Complex and way better!
A friend of mine has a vitamin D lamp, it helps her with the winter blahs. I take an anxiety pill occasionally to help when I need it. I have only taken 3 pills in the 6.5 weeks since I quit drinking, but they are there if I need one.
A friend of mine has a vitamin D lamp, it helps her with the winter blahs. I take an anxiety pill occasionally to help when I need it. I have only taken 3 pills in the 6.5 weeks since I quit drinking, but they are there if I need one.
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Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,516
I take an antidepressant and all it does for me is to level the playing field, and that's great. I also deal with anxiety and there are a lot of things you can do to manage it.
TIPS FOR DEALING WITH ANXIETY (the American Assoc for Anxiety & Depression)
Take a Time-Out. Try some yoga, listen to music, meditate, get a massage or learn relaxation techniques. Stepping back from the problem can help clear your head.
Eat well-balanced meals. Do not skip any meals. Keep healthful, energy-boosting snacks on hand. Limit caffeine.
Get enough sleep/rest. Exercise daily to help you feel good and maintain your health. Use an iPod or exercise buddy to help you stick to your routine.
Take deep breaths. Inhale and exhale slowly. Belly-Breathing: Sit comfortably with shoulders, head and neck relaxed. Breath in slowly through your nose so that your stomach expands. Tighten stomach muscles, letting them fall inward as you exhale slowly through your mouth.
Do your best. Instead of aiming for perfection, which isn’t possible, be proud of however close you get.
Accept that you cannot control everything. Put your stress in perspective: Is it really as bad as you think?
Welcome humour. A good laugh goes a long way.
Maintain a positive attitude. Make an effort to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
Get involved. Volunteer or find another way to be active in your community, which creates a support network and gives you a break from everyday stress.
Learn what triggers your anxiety. Is it work, family, school or something else you can’t identify? Write in a journal when you’re feeling stressed. Look for a pattern.
Talk to someone. Tell friends/family you’re feeling overwhelmed and let them know how they can help. Talk to a professional.
Books
Amen, Daniel Change Your Brain, Change Your Life
Bassett, Lucinda From Panic to Power
Burns, David MD When Panic Attacks
Chodron, Pema The Places that Scare You
Doidge, Norman MD The Brain that Changes Itself
Dyer, Wayne Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life
Orsilla, Ken Mindful Way Through Anxiety
TIPS FOR DEALING WITH ANXIETY (the American Assoc for Anxiety & Depression)
Take a Time-Out. Try some yoga, listen to music, meditate, get a massage or learn relaxation techniques. Stepping back from the problem can help clear your head.
Eat well-balanced meals. Do not skip any meals. Keep healthful, energy-boosting snacks on hand. Limit caffeine.
Get enough sleep/rest. Exercise daily to help you feel good and maintain your health. Use an iPod or exercise buddy to help you stick to your routine.
Take deep breaths. Inhale and exhale slowly. Belly-Breathing: Sit comfortably with shoulders, head and neck relaxed. Breath in slowly through your nose so that your stomach expands. Tighten stomach muscles, letting them fall inward as you exhale slowly through your mouth.
Do your best. Instead of aiming for perfection, which isn’t possible, be proud of however close you get.
Accept that you cannot control everything. Put your stress in perspective: Is it really as bad as you think?
Welcome humour. A good laugh goes a long way.
Maintain a positive attitude. Make an effort to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
Get involved. Volunteer or find another way to be active in your community, which creates a support network and gives you a break from everyday stress.
Learn what triggers your anxiety. Is it work, family, school or something else you can’t identify? Write in a journal when you’re feeling stressed. Look for a pattern.
Talk to someone. Tell friends/family you’re feeling overwhelmed and let them know how they can help. Talk to a professional.
Books
Amen, Daniel Change Your Brain, Change Your Life
Bassett, Lucinda From Panic to Power
Burns, David MD When Panic Attacks
Chodron, Pema The Places that Scare You
Doidge, Norman MD The Brain that Changes Itself
Dyer, Wayne Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life
Orsilla, Ken Mindful Way Through Anxiety
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 34
Originally Posted by Andante
So, if I'm reading your posts correctly, you have insomnia due to what you call "PAWS", which you are experiencing two years after discontinuing a drug (Strattera) originally prescribed for ADHD? Is this correct? Are/were you abusing the Strattera, or taking it strictly as prescribed by a physician? Are you currently taking any other drugs? Is alcohol part of the package in any way? Sorry I'm not able to glean this information from your posts.
The first step to solving any issue like this is to remove (even if it's just temporary) all the substances causing the problems so you can establish a useful baseline. Piling drugs on top of other drugs just muddies things up even worse.
Also, what non-pharmaceutical steps are you taking to address your insomnia? Do you eat healthy, get plenty of exercise, observe good sleep hygiene and habits, and meditate or use other mind/body calming techniques?
Hope you're able to get some answers, as I can definitely relate to how demoralizing and depressing chronic insomnia can be. You have friends here!
The first step to solving any issue like this is to remove (even if it's just temporary) all the substances causing the problems so you can establish a useful baseline. Piling drugs on top of other drugs just muddies things up even worse.
Also, what non-pharmaceutical steps are you taking to address your insomnia? Do you eat healthy, get plenty of exercise, observe good sleep hygiene and habits, and meditate or use other mind/body calming techniques?
Hope you're able to get some answers, as I can definitely relate to how demoralizing and depressing chronic insomnia can be. You have friends here!
It's hard. I wish I would get better but it seems like i never will. We reap what we sow I guess. I've been trying to ride it out but I don't know. I'm afraid I'll lose my job,become homeless one day, life is such a low point and I don't know who to talk to because when I talk to people they just tell me to go to the doctor who wants to put me on pills. I want to enjoy life again but it's just so hopeless, depressing. Id almost rather be dead, this is one of the hardest things I've ever been through.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Pacific Coast
Posts: 785
Sounds like a really rough place to be. I can relate, as I've felt that way in the past as well.
Aside from the possibility of a clinical depression aspect to your problem, addiction in general can really do a number on the brain's pleasure center, and it can take what seems like a superhuman effort to get it back on track again.
The good news is that there's a way out, but it really helps if you can try to surrender your old ways of thinking and be willing to try new approaches. At this point, what do you have to lose? If nothing changes, nothing changes.
I was resistant about medications such as SSRI antidepressants too, but I finally realized I was out of options if I wanted to feel better. I'll always be glad I took the leap of faith to see a psychiatrist and trust that he might be able to help me.
You say you're afraid that Zoloft would exacerbate your insomnia, but you don't really know for sure, right? Take that leap of faith and be willing to try something different. The path you're on now doesn't seem to be working terribly well for you, agreed? See your doctor and be honest, and listen to what he has to say. Let him/her help you.
Best of luck, and I hope you'll check in here again and let us know how you're doing.
Aside from the possibility of a clinical depression aspect to your problem, addiction in general can really do a number on the brain's pleasure center, and it can take what seems like a superhuman effort to get it back on track again.
The good news is that there's a way out, but it really helps if you can try to surrender your old ways of thinking and be willing to try new approaches. At this point, what do you have to lose? If nothing changes, nothing changes.
I was resistant about medications such as SSRI antidepressants too, but I finally realized I was out of options if I wanted to feel better. I'll always be glad I took the leap of faith to see a psychiatrist and trust that he might be able to help me.
You say you're afraid that Zoloft would exacerbate your insomnia, but you don't really know for sure, right? Take that leap of faith and be willing to try something different. The path you're on now doesn't seem to be working terribly well for you, agreed? See your doctor and be honest, and listen to what he has to say. Let him/her help you.
Best of luck, and I hope you'll check in here again and let us know how you're doing.
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