First time here, first post - hello!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 17
First time here, first post - hello!
Hello! My name is Daisy (not my real name but I’ll use it here) and I’m not an alcoholic. I’m pretty sure about that. But I have a problem with drinking, and want to drink less or stop altogether if that is the best way to manage drinking “less.”
Confused? So am I. I’m 40 and went to AA three years ago for six months straight (stopped drinking right off the bat) and it was the best thing I ever did - my social life (and solo life in the evenings post-work) had centered around activities where a drink was always nearby and it hadn’t occurred to me that I could have a full and pretty awesome life without alcohol. It changed the way I saw the world and my place in it. However, I struggled the whole time with the question of whether I’m an alcoholic. Even my sponsor wasn’t sure. That whole “if you walk into AA, you belong there!” notion just didn’t seem to apply to me in any clear way.
I’d gotten into some hairy situations while drinking, but apart from a few blackouts over 20 years, some bad hangovers, and some friendships I killed due to saying pretty awful things when tipsy or drunk (and those people in hindsight weren’t good for me), I’d never had any terrible “consequences.” I drank a couple drinks every night and usually much more on the weekends, went to my technology company job every day where I did good work, exercised most days, and had what looked like a pretty great and healthy life. But I *felt* really unhealthy and unhappy and knew that drinking too much was a big part of the problem. I wanted to stop using the image of a glass of wine at the end of the day to pull me through my workday. To never again wake up with even a dull headache. So right before the new year I walked into an AA meeting.
It clicked for me on many levels and proved lifechanging - but I never felt honest when I said I was an alcoholic. The community is what kept me there - I felt so accepted and at peace among people I didn’t feel would ever judge me. I’d studied psychology in college and had been in therapy for various reasons and it felt so comfortable to just sit and listen and be a part of something bigger than myself.
After six months I returned to drinking, not every or even most days, but here and there and it felt fine. I then got pregnant and immediately stopped completely. My son is now two and in the past six months I’ve become concerned about my reliance on the big glass or two of wine every night. I’ve been groggy and headachy some mornings, and moody. I was taking out the recycling the other day and realized, woah! This is not okay with me.
I’ve thought about going back to AA - I don’t live where I did when I went before and haven’t stayed in close touch with anyone to discuss what I’m experiencing now - but I’m not ready. I don’t know if it’s right. I don’t know if I should aim to not drink or to drink less or what. (The problem with drinking less, of course, is that it’s very hard to stick to, as you all well know!) I haven’t had a drink in almost two weeks and it’s felt really good. Easy because I just don’t buy wine now so I don’t have it at home (a benefit of being a single mom is controlling everything in the house, and not having much of a social life). I think about it occasionally when something happens that would normally make me reach for a drink - a challenging bedtime with my son, a hard day at work - but mostly when I wake up every day thinking “wow, this is what it feels like to have had zero alcohol last night!”
This may all sound silly - I often felt silly at AA when hearing about other people’s experiences with drinking, because my problems with it seemed so minor by comparison. But I hope some of you will understand a bit about where I’m coming from.
I’ll stop rambling now and just say thank you for listening (for any of you who actually made it this far)! I’m looking forward to reading what others share here and getting support as I continue to embark on this journey.
Confused? So am I. I’m 40 and went to AA three years ago for six months straight (stopped drinking right off the bat) and it was the best thing I ever did - my social life (and solo life in the evenings post-work) had centered around activities where a drink was always nearby and it hadn’t occurred to me that I could have a full and pretty awesome life without alcohol. It changed the way I saw the world and my place in it. However, I struggled the whole time with the question of whether I’m an alcoholic. Even my sponsor wasn’t sure. That whole “if you walk into AA, you belong there!” notion just didn’t seem to apply to me in any clear way.
I’d gotten into some hairy situations while drinking, but apart from a few blackouts over 20 years, some bad hangovers, and some friendships I killed due to saying pretty awful things when tipsy or drunk (and those people in hindsight weren’t good for me), I’d never had any terrible “consequences.” I drank a couple drinks every night and usually much more on the weekends, went to my technology company job every day where I did good work, exercised most days, and had what looked like a pretty great and healthy life. But I *felt* really unhealthy and unhappy and knew that drinking too much was a big part of the problem. I wanted to stop using the image of a glass of wine at the end of the day to pull me through my workday. To never again wake up with even a dull headache. So right before the new year I walked into an AA meeting.
It clicked for me on many levels and proved lifechanging - but I never felt honest when I said I was an alcoholic. The community is what kept me there - I felt so accepted and at peace among people I didn’t feel would ever judge me. I’d studied psychology in college and had been in therapy for various reasons and it felt so comfortable to just sit and listen and be a part of something bigger than myself.
After six months I returned to drinking, not every or even most days, but here and there and it felt fine. I then got pregnant and immediately stopped completely. My son is now two and in the past six months I’ve become concerned about my reliance on the big glass or two of wine every night. I’ve been groggy and headachy some mornings, and moody. I was taking out the recycling the other day and realized, woah! This is not okay with me.
I’ve thought about going back to AA - I don’t live where I did when I went before and haven’t stayed in close touch with anyone to discuss what I’m experiencing now - but I’m not ready. I don’t know if it’s right. I don’t know if I should aim to not drink or to drink less or what. (The problem with drinking less, of course, is that it’s very hard to stick to, as you all well know!) I haven’t had a drink in almost two weeks and it’s felt really good. Easy because I just don’t buy wine now so I don’t have it at home (a benefit of being a single mom is controlling everything in the house, and not having much of a social life). I think about it occasionally when something happens that would normally make me reach for a drink - a challenging bedtime with my son, a hard day at work - but mostly when I wake up every day thinking “wow, this is what it feels like to have had zero alcohol last night!”
This may all sound silly - I often felt silly at AA when hearing about other people’s experiences with drinking, because my problems with it seemed so minor by comparison. But I hope some of you will understand a bit about where I’m coming from.
I’ll stop rambling now and just say thank you for listening (for any of you who actually made it this far)! I’m looking forward to reading what others share here and getting support as I continue to embark on this journey.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 403
Welcome.
Not sure why the fixation on declaiming yourself as an alcoholic--seems like you've hit all the major markers. That's neither here nor there and I'm sure others will chime in.
AA is not for me, either. As someone here said, we share a common denominator; that being, the dependency on alcohol. Still, I could not relate because I was very high functioning, hid it well, etc., until I didn't. It will get progressively worse so I suggest you nip it in its bud. You seem to recognize this which is half the battle.
Not sure why the fixation on declaiming yourself as an alcoholic--seems like you've hit all the major markers. That's neither here nor there and I'm sure others will chime in.
AA is not for me, either. As someone here said, we share a common denominator; that being, the dependency on alcohol. Still, I could not relate because I was very high functioning, hid it well, etc., until I didn't. It will get progressively worse so I suggest you nip it in its bud. You seem to recognize this which is half the battle.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,782
Welcome! 
It doesn't matter what you call yourself. The only thing that matters is whether or not alcohol is causing problems. Sounds like it is.
The solution is to stop drinking, no matter what way you go about it. And I'd advise that you stop completely. Drinking in moderation just keeps the door open to drinking too much.
I hope you'll make good use of this forum to ask questions and hear our experiences. I hope our support can help you find your way to a fulfilling sober life.
It doesn't matter what you call yourself. The only thing that matters is whether or not alcohol is causing problems. Sounds like it is.The solution is to stop drinking, no matter what way you go about it. And I'd advise that you stop completely. Drinking in moderation just keeps the door open to drinking too much.
I hope you'll make good use of this forum to ask questions and hear our experiences. I hope our support can help you find your way to a fulfilling sober life.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Kampala, Uganda
Posts: 327
Hi Daisy.
It would be wise for you to just stop drinking completely and for good. You will get no benefit at all from continuing and alcohol problems get worse with time. While you may not consider yourself an alcoholic, you may be stating different in a year or 2 if you don't stop drinking now. No one is born an alcoholic (at least not that I've heard).
Your previous choice to do AA I think was a good one since it helped you stay sober for a while. Use AA and any other resources. All those resources in sobriety will make you a better person overall.
Keep coming here and posting.
It would be wise for you to just stop drinking completely and for good. You will get no benefit at all from continuing and alcohol problems get worse with time. While you may not consider yourself an alcoholic, you may be stating different in a year or 2 if you don't stop drinking now. No one is born an alcoholic (at least not that I've heard).
Your previous choice to do AA I think was a good one since it helped you stay sober for a while. Use AA and any other resources. All those resources in sobriety will make you a better person overall.
Keep coming here and posting.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Northwest U.S.
Posts: 778
Welcome Daisy! Thanks for posting. I have no idea if you are alcoholic and there is no agreed-upon definition of what it means. Not that it matters - even the DSM has gotten away from efforts to classify folks as alcoholic. I think it is best to just look at the issue as all of us sitting somewhere on a spectrum that is the alcohol use disorder spectrum. If I compare you to where I was, I would agree that you don't seem to be nearly as far along as I was, but you are definitely somewhere on it. As others have noted, this disease is progressive and there is some line where you cross over and become actively addicted and your life will quickly turn into a living hell. Don't get there. Don't come close to getting there. Keep learning, keep searching, but proceed cautiously if you decide to return to drinking and hold close those memories of how great your life was when you didn't drink. Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,355
Just out of curiosity what is you definition of being an alcoholic?
It seems like alcohol causes you some troubles and many of us will recommend that you stop drinking. This isn't something that flips the switch one day from being not an alcoholic to an alcoholic. It is a progressive issue and before I knew what had happened I realized I had a problem with alcohol. I consider myself an alcoholic and I have not had any huge negative consequences... Yet. And yet is the key word.
My advice would be to stop drinking... No matter your label you choose to use.
It seems like alcohol causes you some troubles and many of us will recommend that you stop drinking. This isn't something that flips the switch one day from being not an alcoholic to an alcoholic. It is a progressive issue and before I knew what had happened I realized I had a problem with alcohol. I consider myself an alcoholic and I have not had any huge negative consequences... Yet. And yet is the key word.
My advice would be to stop drinking... No matter your label you choose to use.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 634
Hi Daisy
I can't say that I've said to anyone that I'm an alcoholic and I suppose I don't consider myself as one but what really mattered is I clearly had an alcohol issue and something had to be done.
I drank a bottle of wine a day for a very long time and when I tried to have a "dry" spell (January), I just couldn't do it. I was still at work, living family life with two young kids etc, functioning "ok".
I put off getting help for quite a few months then just walked in to the GP and admitted my alcohol misuse and was referred immediately. I dread to think how bad it would have got if I didn't.
I'm only 52 days sober but sticking with it. Alcohol is not my friend, alcoholic or not.
X
I can't say that I've said to anyone that I'm an alcoholic and I suppose I don't consider myself as one but what really mattered is I clearly had an alcohol issue and something had to be done.
I drank a bottle of wine a day for a very long time and when I tried to have a "dry" spell (January), I just couldn't do it. I was still at work, living family life with two young kids etc, functioning "ok".
I put off getting help for quite a few months then just walked in to the GP and admitted my alcohol misuse and was referred immediately. I dread to think how bad it would have got if I didn't.
I'm only 52 days sober but sticking with it. Alcohol is not my friend, alcoholic or not.
X
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Daisy, 'alcoholic' is just a word, a term, and you don't have to call yourself an alcoholic if you don't want to. The thing is you have lost friendships, had blackouts (extremely dangerous, especially for a woman), felt unwell the morning after, and feel unable to moderate. Those are all signs of alcoholism. If you weren't an alcoholic, you wouldn't have to think about moderating. Non-alcoholics don't try to moderate their drinking.
Alcoholism is a progressive disease and it will worsen until you stop drinking. There are programs other than AA which are in the link below and you can always use SR as a support for yourself.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Alcoholism is a progressive disease and it will worsen until you stop drinking. There are programs other than AA which are in the link below and you can always use SR as a support for yourself.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Somerset
Posts: 937
Hey Daisy,
Welcome to SR, I'm glad you found us.
If you enjoyed the sense of community at AA, you should feel right at home here too. Lots of clever folk who know first hand how you feel.
You don't need a label of any sort to know your own truth. And it sounds very much like you have discovered the truth that alcohol is having a negative effect on your life.
One bit of advice I'd give you is to note your internal dialogue and reference it from time to time against your actual actions and behaviour.
By that I mean, if you assure yourself you will start to drink less (maybe you don't like the sore heads in the morning anymore, or maybe you are embarrassed by the amount of empty bottles you recycle) but your actions don't match those assurances, or at least not for long.....then you are already taking those first baby steps toward being less in control of your drinking than you think you are.
Just be mindful that alcoholism is progressive; at what point does drinking become a problem for any alcoholic? I kidded myself for years that I didn't have a problem because I would regularly stop drinking whenever I felt like it, sometimes for weeks on end. What a joke that was, I always returned to it and my consumption always escalated.
Good luck on your journey Daisy, I'm sure you'll find your way.
Welcome to SR, I'm glad you found us.
If you enjoyed the sense of community at AA, you should feel right at home here too. Lots of clever folk who know first hand how you feel.
You don't need a label of any sort to know your own truth. And it sounds very much like you have discovered the truth that alcohol is having a negative effect on your life.
One bit of advice I'd give you is to note your internal dialogue and reference it from time to time against your actual actions and behaviour.
By that I mean, if you assure yourself you will start to drink less (maybe you don't like the sore heads in the morning anymore, or maybe you are embarrassed by the amount of empty bottles you recycle) but your actions don't match those assurances, or at least not for long.....then you are already taking those first baby steps toward being less in control of your drinking than you think you are.
Just be mindful that alcoholism is progressive; at what point does drinking become a problem for any alcoholic? I kidded myself for years that I didn't have a problem because I would regularly stop drinking whenever I felt like it, sometimes for weeks on end. What a joke that was, I always returned to it and my consumption always escalated.
Good luck on your journey Daisy, I'm sure you'll find your way.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 24
Daisy-
Your post really resonated with me. I felt a lot like the way you are feeling now. What finally hit me was pretty much what jryan said . Alcoholism is progressive. I've seen it first hand with loved ones. And I've never had anything horrible happen due to drinking (no dui's , divorce, job loss or worse) ....yet.
I realized that if I continued on the path I was on it was only going to get worse. I knew this in my gut. I am lucky that all my nights of boozing never ended in something catastrophic and I'm lucky that I have the opportunity to completely stop drinking before something catastrophic happens.
For years I told myself and others I could handle the drinking "in moderation". I simply can not. Finally accepting that and accepting that I just can not drink actually feels somewhat freeing. It's tough and I'm very early on here (day 8) but I know it's the best choice for me.
Your post really resonated with me. I felt a lot like the way you are feeling now. What finally hit me was pretty much what jryan said . Alcoholism is progressive. I've seen it first hand with loved ones. And I've never had anything horrible happen due to drinking (no dui's , divorce, job loss or worse) ....yet.
I realized that if I continued on the path I was on it was only going to get worse. I knew this in my gut. I am lucky that all my nights of boozing never ended in something catastrophic and I'm lucky that I have the opportunity to completely stop drinking before something catastrophic happens.
For years I told myself and others I could handle the drinking "in moderation". I simply can not. Finally accepting that and accepting that I just can not drink actually feels somewhat freeing. It's tough and I'm very early on here (day 8) but I know it's the best choice for me.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Hi and welcome Daisy
If your drinking is causing you problems, causing damage in your life, and you ant to stop drinking, then I think thats enough.
to be honest those consequences sound terrible enough, I wouldn't wait for them to get worse....
Stopping sounds like a good decision for you
The label isn't as important as what action we take.
If your drinking is causing you problems, causing damage in your life, and you ant to stop drinking, then I think thats enough.
I’d gotten into some hairy situations while drinking, but apart from a few blackouts over 20 years, some bad hangovers, and some friendships I killed due to saying pretty awful things when tipsy or drunk (and those people in hindsight weren’t good for me), I’d never had any terrible “consequences.”
Stopping sounds like a good decision for you
The label isn't as important as what action we take.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 17
Hello again...I’m back! When I posted more than a month ago during my first visit to this site, I really didn’t think I’d only last a week without drinking. I was going to stop! For a long time if not forever! Ha! I always felt uncomfortable with all of the “this is your alcoholic brain talking” type of thing I heard in AA four years ago, but let’s just say I shouldn’t be at all surprised that I didn’t stick to my no-drinking plan. My brain someone decided after a week or ten days or whatever that I should start having a glass of wine or two a night again. “And hey, you haven’t had gin in a long time - how about that?”
Suffice to say that my obsessive thinking (“when will I get to drink again...at dinner? After my son goes to bed? Do I have anything in the house?”) returned. And while I don’t like the grogginess I feel the next day when I drank the night before (even if I did stick to two glasses of wine), I absolutely detest this thought process. That’s what I want to never do again - and if it takes not drinking again then I’m down for that!
So, my last drink was on Christmas, making day four about to come to a close. I told my parents (who live nearby and I see nearly daily) I’m going back to AA, a really tough thing to do because I don’t think they understood when I did it the last time (four years ago almost to the day) and I don’t think they believe I really have a problem. But that’s okay. They don’t need to understand. They’re really supportive and since I often have a glass of wine when I have dinner with them it will remove that temptation totally. They offered to watch my little guy at nights when I go to meetings (I’m a single mom).
I’ve looked up meetings nearby though I’m anxious about going - would much rather flee 3,000 to California to attend meetings I used to go to and see the familiar faces. Going in my new town seems scary because it seems like such a commitment to not drink! Like, “what if I decide not-drinking is not for me and someone from AA sees me at a restaurant sipping wine?!”
I know that’s ridiculous - but it’s how my brain thinks.
I’m going to go to a meeting next week - make myself do it. And I’m the meantime, I’m not going to drink.
Thank you for your support the last time I posted and for being such a great community!
Suffice to say that my obsessive thinking (“when will I get to drink again...at dinner? After my son goes to bed? Do I have anything in the house?”) returned. And while I don’t like the grogginess I feel the next day when I drank the night before (even if I did stick to two glasses of wine), I absolutely detest this thought process. That’s what I want to never do again - and if it takes not drinking again then I’m down for that!
So, my last drink was on Christmas, making day four about to come to a close. I told my parents (who live nearby and I see nearly daily) I’m going back to AA, a really tough thing to do because I don’t think they understood when I did it the last time (four years ago almost to the day) and I don’t think they believe I really have a problem. But that’s okay. They don’t need to understand. They’re really supportive and since I often have a glass of wine when I have dinner with them it will remove that temptation totally. They offered to watch my little guy at nights when I go to meetings (I’m a single mom).
I’ve looked up meetings nearby though I’m anxious about going - would much rather flee 3,000 to California to attend meetings I used to go to and see the familiar faces. Going in my new town seems scary because it seems like such a commitment to not drink! Like, “what if I decide not-drinking is not for me and someone from AA sees me at a restaurant sipping wine?!”
I know that’s ridiculous - but it’s how my brain thinks.
I’m going to go to a meeting next week - make myself do it. And I’m the meantime, I’m not going to drink.
Thank you for your support the last time I posted and for being such a great community!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 131
I wouldn’t put too much weight on other people’s stories! Drinking or not I’ve heard some very embellished personal stories in AA and have known personally some of the people telling them! No heavy drinking/alcoholic pals of mine would be seen dead in AA so I think you going for six months is a fair indicator that it might be for you maybe?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 666
Welcome, Daisy.
This is a wonderful place for support and understanding. Many of us are very similar to you. I agree that it's a progression. I also never called myself "alcoholic" (and have never been to AA) but it became crystal clear to me that alcohol was damaging my health, my life, my thinking, my motivation.. and diminishing all that is real and good and meaningful in life. It had way too much importance and did way too much damage in my life.
I tried for years to "cut back" the way you have, and always ended up thinking, "Oh, hey, I"m not so bad, I can drink a little again. 'Everyone else' does, so can I." Well, no. Sometimes I'd go a day or two, sometimes a week or two, but I'd always inch back up again. It's just so much easier to take it COMPLETELY off the table as an option. Once I did that, it made all the difference.
I wanted to be present for my kids, be healthy for myself, regain my former interests... not just live for a big glass of wine at the end of the day (actually of course a whole bottle). You may be able to stop at a glass or two for a while, but it WILL increase. Thousands upon thousands here have found that that's inevitable. Rely on the hard-earned wisdom here. People know what they are talking about.
You have it within you to stop. You can turn the corner now and create a better life for yourself. Stay close here, and you'll find that many have similar stories to yours. I have now been alcohol free since last May, and my life is so much better in every way. I don't miss the poison, and don't feel deprived. I feel set free.
Here's my intro story if you want to read it:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...rate-stop.html (Wine drinking woman, desperate to stop)
All the best to you!
This is a wonderful place for support and understanding. Many of us are very similar to you. I agree that it's a progression. I also never called myself "alcoholic" (and have never been to AA) but it became crystal clear to me that alcohol was damaging my health, my life, my thinking, my motivation.. and diminishing all that is real and good and meaningful in life. It had way too much importance and did way too much damage in my life.
I tried for years to "cut back" the way you have, and always ended up thinking, "Oh, hey, I"m not so bad, I can drink a little again. 'Everyone else' does, so can I." Well, no. Sometimes I'd go a day or two, sometimes a week or two, but I'd always inch back up again. It's just so much easier to take it COMPLETELY off the table as an option. Once I did that, it made all the difference.
I wanted to be present for my kids, be healthy for myself, regain my former interests... not just live for a big glass of wine at the end of the day (actually of course a whole bottle). You may be able to stop at a glass or two for a while, but it WILL increase. Thousands upon thousands here have found that that's inevitable. Rely on the hard-earned wisdom here. People know what they are talking about.
You have it within you to stop. You can turn the corner now and create a better life for yourself. Stay close here, and you'll find that many have similar stories to yours. I have now been alcohol free since last May, and my life is so much better in every way. I don't miss the poison, and don't feel deprived. I feel set free.
Here's my intro story if you want to read it:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...rate-stop.html (Wine drinking woman, desperate to stop)
All the best to you!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 17
Thank you! I just love waking up in the morning knowing that there is no chance I’ll feel hungover! I’ve actually been feeling pretty sluggish and somewhat nauseous and just not-right since my last drink Monday and I know it has to do with my body detoxing and rebalancing. With each new day I’m feeling better.
I’m home tonight without my toddler for a change - my parents took him to see some cousins - and it’s so strange to be home alone and not drinking! But also feels so good. And calming. Because with no drinking there’s no worrying about how much I’m drinking, how I might feel the next day, what I can do to alleviate a potential hangover (Tylenol with lots of water before bed, vitamins, etc.). There’s just me, not drinking, and feeling okay. A little anxious maybe but at peace.
I’m home tonight without my toddler for a change - my parents took him to see some cousins - and it’s so strange to be home alone and not drinking! But also feels so good. And calming. Because with no drinking there’s no worrying about how much I’m drinking, how I might feel the next day, what I can do to alleviate a potential hangover (Tylenol with lots of water before bed, vitamins, etc.). There’s just me, not drinking, and feeling okay. A little anxious maybe but at peace.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 452
Hi Daisy, welcome to the site.
Your story is similar to mine. I have drunk alcohol for many years while harbouring an instinct that things were not ok and that I really needed to give it up for good.
I also went through the 'maybe I can moderate' phase and (for me) the inevitable failure, black-out and embarrassment.
One of the key aspects of alcoholism that comes across very clearly on SR is it's progressiveness and it's this realisation that has been the catalyst for me to finally accept that I need to abstain from alcohol for good.
I wish you all the best and good luck in your recovery.
Your story is similar to mine. I have drunk alcohol for many years while harbouring an instinct that things were not ok and that I really needed to give it up for good.
I also went through the 'maybe I can moderate' phase and (for me) the inevitable failure, black-out and embarrassment.
One of the key aspects of alcoholism that comes across very clearly on SR is it's progressiveness and it's this realisation that has been the catalyst for me to finally accept that I need to abstain from alcohol for good.
I wish you all the best and good luck in your recovery.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,837
Hi Daisy. Welcome to SR. There are loads of us in the same boat as you. Not sure what is going on and trying to figure things out.
I joined in August and, after several relapses, have come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter what I call myself, I just can't drink. My husband says I'm crap at every part of drinking! I know that sounds a bit light hearted and it's no joke, but he's right. Nothing about drinking alcohol helps, improves or provides enjoyment for me or for anyone else. It is the definition of a pointless exercise for me, so I quit!
I'm sure you will find your way and great that you have decided to go back to AA. I reckon it doesn't have to fit perfectly, it just has to work for you.
I'll look forward to reading your posts. Happy New Year! Gabe x
I joined in August and, after several relapses, have come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter what I call myself, I just can't drink. My husband says I'm crap at every part of drinking! I know that sounds a bit light hearted and it's no joke, but he's right. Nothing about drinking alcohol helps, improves or provides enjoyment for me or for anyone else. It is the definition of a pointless exercise for me, so I quit!
I'm sure you will find your way and great that you have decided to go back to AA. I reckon it doesn't have to fit perfectly, it just has to work for you.
I'll look forward to reading your posts. Happy New Year! Gabe x
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