DoubleFelix

Hi everyone. As the title says, I'm still sober but definitely struggling to stay that way. With the help of this website I've been sober now for 3 1/4 years.

What's going on now - I'm unemployed and have been looking for work for closer to 2 months. Based on previous experiences I know this is a dangerous place for me to be in. The lack of response leads to feelings of self-doubt and worthlessness. These feelings are compounded by the fact that I'm entering my late 20's with no clue with what I want to do with my life (I never thought I'd make it to this age, honestly). My friend suggested career coaching but I can't afford that right now.

One of my big stress relievers is working out, but a recent foot injury has put that on hold for now. I'm starting to feel stuck and depressed. As I sit and scroll endlessly through job postings the allure of drinking is getting stronger. Any suggestions?

Thanks so much.

Anna

Congratulations on your recovery! That's a great accomplishment, and I know you can get through this crisis without relapsing.

Job-hunting is tough and often depressing for most of us. It's hard to face rejection. And, it can seem purposeless to keep putting applications out there. Have you told everybody you know or meet that you're looking for a job? This can pay off.

I hope that your foot injury heals quickly and allows you to get back to working out soon. Can you at least, get out for a walk?

doggonecarl

As Anna said, being unemployed and looking for work is difficult...even if you aren't in recovery. I remember the discouragement. You can't take it personally, and you certainly can't let your addiction leverage it as an excuse to drink.

DoubleFelix

Thanks for your responses, Anna and Carl!

Anna - Walks have helped me loads in the past but right now they're just painful.

doggonecarl

If you are in Philadelphia, it's a tough place to find work. My step-son, who lives in the city, is a graduate from a prestigious private college and has two jobs--neither one requiring a degree. He works as a bar back and is a cheese monger in a upscale deli. His girlfriend has a degree too and works in a bead factory.

I'd move.

Georgie123

I’m seriously impressed with your 3 1/4 years sober. Such an achievement, that I’m sure has taken immense strength and hard work. I admire you tremendously. You don’t want to consider for one minute giving up your precious, hard won gift of sobriety.

Prior to getting sober myself, I was looking for jobs, completed lengthy, detailed application forms, sat through challenging panel interviews and didn’t get the first few jobs I applied for. Like you I felt so demoralised, worthless, rejected, hopeless. I drank to numb the painful feelings, thinking ‘well everyone thinks I’m rubbish so what the hell’. I know one thing for sure, it did absolutely nothing to help me through and just made me feel a million, trillion times more worthless and hopeless. So here I am, six months later...I did eventually get one of the jobs I applied for and that painful and difficult time is just a memory....as it will be for you.

Like you I find exercise helps to keep me level and grounded. Would something like swimming be less painful? Then perhaps a long stint in the steam room, sauna. For me, the excessive heat, sweat, really calms me and steadies my mind.

Try to stay focused, keep things in perspective, everyone finds this situation stressful. Don’t drink, you’ll overcome this challenge and will be wiser and stronger as a result.

Keep us posted

Dee74

Like others have said this woiuld be a hard situation for anyone, even for someone not in recovery.

Drinking would be throwing in the towel tho, and letting despair win and you can't do that.

I hope you find something soon, and that your injury gets better
D

Midwest1981

Over 3 years sober is an amazing accomplishment and to have accomplished that at such a young age is a true gift. You have so much to look forward too. Don't give up and keep searching for a job and maybe even be open to moving. That could be really exciting.

Also I was going to suggest swimming and seen that someone else did too. It really is great exercise if you have access to a pool.

DoubleFelix

Thank you everyone for your responses!! It's helpful to know that others understand how I am feeling. I'm doing a bit better today. I'm gonna try to swim a bit and see if that helps.

Eaglelizard

I feel your pain, Felix, literally...hamstring over here, and I'm a runner (my only joy in life! [sob] ;-)). You can also try cycling, great cardio/leg strength substitute as long as your foot is out of commission. What kind of job are you going for? Is temping an option? It can lead to other things.

DoubleFelix

Eagleizard - sorry to hear of your injury too! My main problem is I don't know what kind of job I want or would be good at, in the past I've just done thing randomly/as they come up. I've applied to some temp agencies but haven't heard anything back.

Horn95

Have you thought of Joining the military? I️ was in the Marines. Best thing I️ ever did

DoubleFelix

Thanks for the suggestion, Horn95. I like being a part of something bigger than myself but the military isn't for me, I'm afraid.

Horn95

At least check it out. You also get money for college.

DoubleFelix

Okay, I'll keep an open mind and check it out.

Also a mini update - set up a free consultation with a career coach in the area for next Monday. After I posted here I also shared a bit about how I was feeling with a few close friends and my partner. Sharing how I'm feeling and not going into isolation mood is STILL really hard for me. Posting here first helps me get the ball rolling to then share with others in my life. To all newcomers - I can't recommend reaching out here as often as you want and need!!

DoubleFelix

Whoops, meant to say - "I can't recommend ENOUGH reaching out here"

Met with that career coach and thinking of pursuing working with him. I really need structure and support through this process, as much as I don't want to admit it. Was also able to work out a bit for the first time yesterday so that felt good.

Struggling (a little less) but still sober!

heavencanwait

Congrats on 3 years, that in itself is awesome! I too am going through unemployment right now due to the economy where I live. Lots of things can trigger us, but we have to hang in there and know there is always light at the end of the tunnel. I have been out of work since April...so I can relate. My fur baby (Yorkie) of 9 years passed shortly after I was laid off as well. I have had to deal with these issues all alone. I have nobody to lean on. I refuse to give in to my sobriety...I choose to stay strong. It is possible....even when you are suffering and in pain as I have been

hellrzr

With all that free time have you been attending AA meetings? Lots of good things happen when you work those steps and help others.