stillmaggie

Just re-reading all of your encouraging, uplifting, sobering posts and stories. I am so grateful to have found this forum. I am 8 weeks sober this coming Sunday. I just found out my mom has a possibly life threatening issue with a clogged artery to her intestines, and needs treatment asap. I want so much to go get a bottle of wine and drink the whole thing, I really do. Haven't felt that way from the start of getting sober. My kid is having a full blown melt down in her bedroom right now because she doesn't want to go to sleep. I've been with them (kids) all day since the second I woke up, everywhere I went , every meal, and all night long. I'm DONE. The constant emotional demands of this day and night, topped off with my mom's diagnosis, are really pushing me over the edge. I feel utterly and completely alone, with my silent spouse sitting next to me, not even realizing what I am doing at this moment. And my warm, fuzzy friend is no longer welcome, but I miss that friend right now.

DontRemember

I'll ask you this; What is a bottle of wine going to do to fix those issues that'll still be there in the morning? Not being a smart ass,but ask yourself that and good for you to come here BEFORE drinking.

Bob4x4

I know exactly what you are saying and what you need to hear.

congrats in advance of 8 weeks sober

congrats not drinking in this insane time of stress and emotion

if you can make it thru this you can make it thru anything and not drink.

Stay sober and make it to monday

D122y

Still,

I relate. It is pure and utterly the addiction.

Eventually I grew to hate booze. I would be drinking a shot of wisky and thinking...why...I hate this lifestyle.

When my mom was dieing from cancer, I flew in, my sister picked me up. I asked her to bring a bottle of tequila.

I drank half the bottle on the way to the hospital. Was obviously wasted, but it didn't even show. I was so addicted.

I think back to those days...how I needed booze to function. I am so glad i
quit.

I went to the dr. Yest. For the first time in 9 years. He says..why are you here. I say cancer screening. That is true, but also..the reason was...it was the first time in 9 years that I wasn't embarrassed to visit a dr.

I am healthier now and not afraid to get the truth of what is really wrong w me.

My mind has shifted from active addict to recovery and living well.

My bp was high, but not crazy high. Stress and diet of the day got me. But, if I have high bp..it is ok too.

I am getting a battery of tests in the next few days.

Plan to continue this for the rest of my life.

Stay clean and get well.

Thanks.

stillmaggie

I did make it to today, somehow. I didn't do bottles lol, I'd get boxes at a time. I know drinking won't make anything better. But for the time I'm actually inebriated I feel much better, which I guess is the reinforcing part of addiction. I took Blackout out of the library today. Skipped through for now, but I can so relate to her stories. I have whole chunks of my nights just gone. I'd wake up with a straightened house, cared for pets, and freshly showered self, and no memory of actually doing it. Only God knows what things happened that I will never know of. Injuries and ripped clothes that have no incident attached to them. Woke up once with the leg almost totally ripped off my pj pants. ??? Who knows how that happened. Amazing how going back to that could somehow seem like a good idea.

DangerZone

Being sober definitely forces you to face life and sometimes there are going to be days that plain flat out suck. We can't hide behind alcohol anymore to feel better but you'll get over the feeling eventually. Just hang in there...

There are other ways besides alcohol that can help. Personally I like to write or read a book. Maybe watch one of your favorite movies where a character has to overcome a really bad situation and does it.

Whatever you do, don't drink. You'll feel better for a while but eventually you are going to have to deal with the situation and the fact that you drank will only make everything worse.

Stay strong and you will get through it. It appears you already did

Dee74

We're all with you Maggie

D