lulabelle90

Hello!
I am just introducing myself to the forum, I don't know what the standard thing to say is but I have realised that although i can go weeks or months without alchohol, I seem to have an emotional and behavioural attachment to it if i am feeling down. Im sure that is a destructive behaviour so i want to stop it before it becomes full blown alcoholism. I have checked with my GP and i have no signs of it affecting my health yet as i do not drink a lot but i have an addictive personality and i don't want this to become a problem.
I went to an AA meeting today for the first time and the stories they were telling were sad and i haven't even come anywhere near close to anything like that but it scared the hell out of me.
I never go to bars or order alcohol with a meal in a restaurant but my behaviour of drinking in the house (not the quantity which isn't much but i feel ashamed and try to hide it and feel guilty)
What would you think if someone like me came to your meetings? Not having any stories about what alcohol made them do but just making sure they would never get into a bad place? would you feel supportive that they were trying to sort it out before it became a problem?

tomsteve

welocme lula!
theres been more than once someone who hasnt gone far down the scale has come to meetings and im very happy they made the decision before alcoholism progressed and very supportive, as would the majority of AA members.
it reads like ya heard the drinking stories- how much was drank and what it led to. hopefully you will hear the thinking thing that alcohol is just a symptom of. remove the alcohol and look at the underlying issues and the thinking i am quite like alcoholics of every stage.

heres a little something for the book,"alcoholics anonymous." we call it the big book and this is in the back in the personal stories- the prelude to the second set of stories titled

They Stopped In Time

Among today’s incoming A.A. members, many have never reached the advanced stages of alcoholism, though given time all might have.

Most of these fortunate ones have had little or no acquaintance with delirium, with hospitals, asylums, and jails. Some were drinking heavily, and there had been occasional serious episodes. But with many, drinking had been little more than a sometimes uncontrollable nuisance. Seldom had any of these lost either health, business, family, or friends.

Why do men and women like these join A.A.?

The seventeen who now tell their experiences answer that question. They saw that they had become actual or potential alcoholics, even though no serious harm had yet been done.
They realized that repeated lack of drinking control, when they really wanted control, was the fatal symptom that spelled problem drinking. This, plus mounting emotional disturbances, convinced them that compulsive alcoholism already had them; that complete ruin would be only a question of time.

Seeing this danger, they came to A.A. They realized that in the end alcoholism could be as mortal as cancer; certainly no sane man would wait for a malignant growth to become fatal before seeking help.

Therefore, these seventeen A.A.’s, and hundreds of thousands like them, have been saved years of infinite suffering. They sum it up something like this: “We didn’t wait to hit bottom because, thank God, we could see the bottom. Actually, the bottom came up and hit us. That sold us on Alcoholics Anonymous.”

lulabelle90

It isn't the actual quantity of drinking, its the emotional or behavioural feeling. I am still fairly young and had an eating disorder from my early teens into my early twenties however this started with just not eating before dance competitions to not eating before dance classes and in the end hardly eating at all. Now i went from not being a drinker to having a couple of glasses a wine a year to secretly having alcohol (not everyday but once every few months) and its the deceitfulness I'm most worried about as if i don't stop now it might get worse and end up being really bad, just like my eating disorder!

48heath

I have met many people in the rooms of AA who are just like you. You are in the right place.

Try to listen to the similarities in people's stories,not the differences,eventually you will hear your story.

Go to different meetings if you can,they all vary a bit.

Wishing you well and welcome to the fellowship.

ljc267

I think you are very in tune with yourself. I wish I had listened to myself years ago when I knew I had a problem with alcohol, but didn't. It took me 20 years to wake up. I hope you don't make the same mistake but I have a feeling you won't.

lulabelle90

I am completely rational, I know what I have done is the start of a downwards spiral but I don't feel I am bad enough to speak up at a meeting (2 people said to me I don't seem like an alcoholic) But surely AA meetings should be encouraging people not to go down that path instead of chastising them for not being as ill as they are?

ljc267

Don't concern yourself with what others say. If you feel you have a problem or a potential problem it is better to get it now rather then wait until it's too late

Obladi

Lulabelle,

Welcome!

I would be honored to have you in attendance at any AA meeting in my neck of the woods. Drunkalogues are not rated, nor are they required.

Pull up a chair. AA is a program of just plain good sense - really, anyone would benefit from the style of fellowship and steps used by this program.

O

Upstairs

Welcome Lulabelle! I'm not that experienced with AA, but I think all they ask of people that attend is that they want to stop drinking. If it helps you, I'd attend every one I could!

Anna

Hi Lula,

I don't go to AA meetings. But, I wouldn't worry about people judging you. The main thing is that you find a way to stop drinking. I drank at home, alone, and hid my drinking from my family. I destroyed my soul with the lies.

I'm glad you found us.

tomsteve

theres a man i came to highly respect in AA. he had a lot of good to say about the thinking when he was drinkin that i could really relate to and applying the steps/prinicples of the program into every day life.
it wasnt until i was about 2 years sober that i heard him say he only had 6 blackouts his entire drinking career and was "tipsy" a dozen times.

could it have been just a general comment? maybe it wasnt really chastising? we alcoholics tend to be quite sensitive early on and take things hard. heck, people that are years into recovery dont look like alcoholics,either! LOLOL

August252015

Hi and welcome.

Good comments above.

I'd also add- the only requirement for membership in AA is a desire to stop drinking. You have that.

I'd suggest going to meetings for, say, 30/30 (or even 90/90 ) as in days/meetings, or some kind of consistent basis, and listen. Like has been said, look for similarities not differences. Another thing that may of us would "silently add" to statements like "I do not do [ ]" or "I'm not like that [ ]" is the word YET. Alcoholism, if you have it, is a progressive disease that will always, always, always take more from you; if you are just concerned about your drinking, for the reasons you mention, even better if you stop now and as was said, look at what is below the symptom that is drinking.

Best to you.

Dee74

Hi Lulubelle - some good advice here from AA folks who know what they;re talking about.

I'll just add my welcome

D