Where to go from Here
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 18
Where to go from Here
This is new to me but alcohol and its problems are not. I believe that for me alcohol has like self medicating and it seems like I always have an excuse why i need to drink. I have said that I dont need it but I lnow that isnt true the moment I say it. I have woken up thinking about it Once I start I have a hard time stoping as well. Right now I am awake and feeling the guilt and anxiety of my last binge. I have made the decision to stop drinking, but im not sure how....people aroumd me say just don't take that next drink but im fonding its harder then just that, excpecially when everyone around me os able to drink and control themselves. I feel alone in all this and the people that I would hope to support me are mad because of my choices. Would it be easier to just disappear and hide lock myself away in my house away from people and temptation. I am really not sure where to go from here.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: England
Posts: 645
You are no longer alone having posted on this site. We all understand what you are going through. Since I've been here one little saying I have learned and like is "One drink is too many, 1000 is never enough". So in short, I know and accept that I can no longer take just one drink anymore as I know where it will lead. That's another something I learned here that folk call "playing the tape forward". The only way is abstinence - ultimately forever. That sounds scary to a lot of people so just say you will not drink for today and see what happens after that.
Welcome and it's good you want to do something for yourself.
Welcome and it's good you want to do something for yourself.
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
Welcome Wick. I wouldn't recommend locking yourself in a room and hiding, BUT, if the people you hang out with are not supportive it's time to change the people you hang out with. For someone who doesn't have an issue with alcohol it's easy to say just don't drink or cut back. For those like us it's not easy, they just don't get it. Changing the people you associate with is a big step and scary at the beginning. I'm not an AA'er but that may be your best first step as they will understand you and are all working to get sober. Also, if you don't click with the first group try another one.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 322
I've tried and failed that many times, that I now know my triggers and weaknesses. And that it's been a good experience to find out on WHY I drink.
I also found out that it's only upto me, and to use the tools i have. And I just say no to the pressure.
The fun drinking phase is over, I don't envy social drinkers anymore, I look at alcohol with seriousness.
Iam not allowed to drink, that's the reality. And I have accepted this, but its maintaining this mindset that's the hardest.
I also found out that it's only upto me, and to use the tools i have. And I just say no to the pressure.
The fun drinking phase is over, I don't envy social drinkers anymore, I look at alcohol with seriousness.
Iam not allowed to drink, that's the reality. And I have accepted this, but its maintaining this mindset that's the hardest.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
there was no way i would have been able to get and stay sober if i still hung around wet faces and wet places. those were just 2 of the things i had to change.
which that came after i became willing to go to any length for victory over alcohol.
which that came after i became willing to go to any length for victory over alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 184
Wick-
I am new here too. It's 844am my time and I could have written that exact post. It's day 2 for me, and I woke up and the first thing on my mind was how and when I could get a drink today, how I could justify it to myself and how I could make sure my family wouldn't know (IE, pacing myself, only having a couple, buying a small bottle to make sure I don't drink too much etc. etc...) my rational mind knows all of this is ridiculous, but my AV Is strong. And a great deceiver. Yesterday I was so sure I wasn't going to want to drink again. Because of the shame, the embarrassment and everything else that comes with it. I was really upset that that was the FIRST place my brain went this morning up on waking. I came straight here, after making a cup of coffee to see if anyone else was feeling this way, and although I've only been on this forum a couple days, I am amazed at how many people struggle the way I do. I always thought I was so alone, such a loser... And just weak. It's incredible to know that I am NOT a freak. And it makes me feel like I can make it through another day... Maybe a second at a time but I'll get there. I hope for strength to everyone having these thoughts today. I'm sure I'll be lurking around reading a lot on here today. Have a great Sunday.
I am new here too. It's 844am my time and I could have written that exact post. It's day 2 for me, and I woke up and the first thing on my mind was how and when I could get a drink today, how I could justify it to myself and how I could make sure my family wouldn't know (IE, pacing myself, only having a couple, buying a small bottle to make sure I don't drink too much etc. etc...) my rational mind knows all of this is ridiculous, but my AV Is strong. And a great deceiver. Yesterday I was so sure I wasn't going to want to drink again. Because of the shame, the embarrassment and everything else that comes with it. I was really upset that that was the FIRST place my brain went this morning up on waking. I came straight here, after making a cup of coffee to see if anyone else was feeling this way, and although I've only been on this forum a couple days, I am amazed at how many people struggle the way I do. I always thought I was so alone, such a loser... And just weak. It's incredible to know that I am NOT a freak. And it makes me feel like I can make it through another day... Maybe a second at a time but I'll get there. I hope for strength to everyone having these thoughts today. I'm sure I'll be lurking around reading a lot on here today. Have a great Sunday.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: 45th Parallel, Michigan
Posts: 816
Hanging out here and reading posts for inspiration is a much better plan for getting yourself together than hanging out with drinkers who want you to drink with them. NO one here will encourage you to drink! I wouldn't call it "hiding in your house;" I'd call it taking a step in the right direction. Welcome to SR!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 184
Update...1030am my time
About an hour ago, my husband asked me why I was so irritable when I woke up this morning. Instead of my usual go to "I was just trying to wake up" or "I'm just tired" I tried to explain where my head was when i woke up. This of course earned me the "what the hell is wrong with you, why can't you just be normal?" look. That brought on its own frustrations and inevitably would have been an excuse to just say screw it before... I won't give in to it though. I understand that some one who has never had to deal with an addiction just doesn't "get it". I wonder if anyone else has felt the impact of that LOOK... and if there even is a way to make some one who has never had these feelings understand. Probably not....
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: 45th Parallel, Michigan
Posts: 816
My family has finally accepted that they can't really help me. It frustrates them, but it true: I'm the only one that can keep myself sober. They can care, and feel bad or confused, but they can't fix this.
Let's not drink today!
Let's not drink today!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Florida
Posts: 874
Wick - If your friends are drinkers, you might stay away from them for a while. Or, see them at venues or activities that do not include alcohol. Giving up alcohol is a hard thing to do and having "friends" encouraging your to drink won't help.
KG77 - hang in there. Day 2 is a great start. Your husband may never understand but you can do this.
KG77 - hang in there. Day 2 is a great start. Your husband may never understand but you can do this.
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Reality
Posts: 491
hi wick,
this is tough you need to get some support. I'm on day 4 i think my mind is unclear. i sat down in my bed yesterday holding my hands i was shaking so bad i was so scare. i did not leave my house but to go to a meeting. I'm broken and i just want to get better i won't happen if i drink again.so yes i get the lock yourself in your house and don't go out thing.
you are in the right place i wish you well we are in the same boat
this is tough you need to get some support. I'm on day 4 i think my mind is unclear. i sat down in my bed yesterday holding my hands i was shaking so bad i was so scare. i did not leave my house but to go to a meeting. I'm broken and i just want to get better i won't happen if i drink again.so yes i get the lock yourself in your house and don't go out thing.
you are in the right place i wish you well we are in the same boat
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 184
Update #2 1330 my time
I feel like I've had to talk myself off a ledge a few times today. Nothing like the old addicted brain demanding it's fix. Over all I've handled it ok... lots of time on SR reading and reflecting. There was a rather tense moment when I had to run to the market for a few things. As always, the cashier asked if I would like cash back. Obviously. (No paper trail is my MO) didn't do it though. Now I'm back home and still plugging along day 2. Feels so good to know that at this moment, tomorrow won't be another day 1. Small victories right?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 18
Originally Posted by KG77 
I feel like I've had to talk myself off a ledge a few times today. Nothing like the old addicted brain demanding it's fix. Over all I've handled it ok... lots of time on SR reading and reflecting. There was a rather tense moment when I had to run to the market for a few things. As always, the cashier asked if I would like cash back. Obviously. (No paper trail is my MO) didn't do it though. Now I'm back home and still plugging along day 2. Feels so good to know that at this moment, tomorrow won't be another day 1. Small victories right?
Great job on day 2!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 184
Wick -
I understand 100%. Luckily (or maybe not, as it might give me pause for longer than a day) I don't suffer from many physical symptoms when detoxing from alcohol. YET. If I keep going this way I know they probably aren't very far off. It very quickly becomes a mental game with my addicted brain telling me that since I don't have physical symptoms I'm probably not that heavy of a drinker (I am) and just to have a couple drinks (it Is never 1 or 2) and my rational brain demanding to be heard, "don't keep doing this, you'll never stop if you don't stop NOW. Think about how you felt two days ago and yesterday...youre not as good at hiding it as you think and they WILL know. Do you really want to take the chance of not being able to go to work tomorrow because you're still intoxicated or worse yet STILL DRINKING?!" I find that my addicted brain is much easier to listen to... after all, it's telling me exactly what I want to hear!! But I'm trying this time to stop, wait and really HEAR what my rational brain is telling me. And guess what? It's right.
Well done on getting through day 2 to you!!! We are in it together. And that feels SO good.
I understand 100%. Luckily (or maybe not, as it might give me pause for longer than a day) I don't suffer from many physical symptoms when detoxing from alcohol. YET. If I keep going this way I know they probably aren't very far off. It very quickly becomes a mental game with my addicted brain telling me that since I don't have physical symptoms I'm probably not that heavy of a drinker (I am) and just to have a couple drinks (it Is never 1 or 2) and my rational brain demanding to be heard, "don't keep doing this, you'll never stop if you don't stop NOW. Think about how you felt two days ago and yesterday...youre not as good at hiding it as you think and they WILL know. Do you really want to take the chance of not being able to go to work tomorrow because you're still intoxicated or worse yet STILL DRINKING?!" I find that my addicted brain is much easier to listen to... after all, it's telling me exactly what I want to hear!! But I'm trying this time to stop, wait and really HEAR what my rational brain is telling me. And guess what? It's right.
Well done on getting through day 2 to you!!! We are in it together. And that feels SO good.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Having the support of this community made it easier for me to stick to the changes I knew I needed to make.
My old life was all about drinking - my new one needed to be different and that meant changing a lot of things.
I wasn't alone tho - and neither are you wick
No sure if I gave you this before but it's a good place to start
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ery-plans.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)
D
My old life was all about drinking - my new one needed to be different and that meant changing a lot of things.
I wasn't alone tho - and neither are you wick
No sure if I gave you this before but it's a good place to start
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ery-plans.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)
D
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