Willingly limiting ourselves
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 666
Willingly limiting ourselves
Reading Kenton's inspiring post about 300 days has got me thinking...
Love Kenton's analogy of being stuck at a broken traffic light, wanting to move forward in our lives, but stalled and getting nowhere, yet blaming everything else but drinking.
For years I've been beating myself up about how I never could accomplish all the things I had been hoping to -- in my home, in my career, in physical fitness, in my spiritual and emotional life. Well, no wonder, because I was willingly self-sabotaging and damaging myself... and paying for the privilege with $$$... giving over mental, physical, emotional and financial capital and, oh my gosh, so much TIME, to drinking alcohol, suffering from it, recovering from it, then starting all over again, day after day.
With just the basics of daily life needing to get done, at a bare minimum, how could I imagine to do any of the "bigger" things I dreamt of? Look at Kenton's list of accomplishments in just under a year sober.. wow. What a difference.
It's such a glaring truth, and yet in the midst of the delusion of addiction, it seems "reasonable" and even "fair" that we can have this so-called "treat" to be able to poison, limit and cripple ourselves. It's ridiculous what we were willing to give up, and then feel sorry for ourselves that we can't continue doing it. "Oh, poor me, I can't keep drinking and living that great life damaging myself with alcohol the way other people can." It makes no sense.
There is just no way that daily drinking, or cyclical binge drinking, will ever improve anyone's life or happiness or be anything but self-limitation. How can we expect to meet unexpected challenges with any strength if we are handicapping ourselves in that way?
I'm thinking more about this right now because, although a recent physical was good, I had one last lab test come back positive that is leading to me needing to see a specialist.
It has nothing to do with drinking, but it could mean I may be dealing with a health issue requiring medication and/or treatment that I probably could not have handled as a drinker. I'm not overly worrying.. I will tackle it if and when it comes.. but I'm relieved and grateful that I can face whatever it is without any worries that I'd be at my absolute worst shape for dealing with it, had I still been harming myself with alcohol. And what a relief to be able to say truthfully that I don't drink alcohol.
So to everyone just lurking and wondering if it's "time" to quit .. it is. Life is such a fragile gift. Don't waste another minute, no matter what age you are. Cherish your body and your soul. No one of us ever knows what twist or turn our lives will take, or those of our loved ones.
If you think you don't deserve a better life, that's the alcohol talking. If you think your life can't be better, you are mistaken.
Love Kenton's analogy of being stuck at a broken traffic light, wanting to move forward in our lives, but stalled and getting nowhere, yet blaming everything else but drinking.
For years I've been beating myself up about how I never could accomplish all the things I had been hoping to -- in my home, in my career, in physical fitness, in my spiritual and emotional life. Well, no wonder, because I was willingly self-sabotaging and damaging myself... and paying for the privilege with $$$... giving over mental, physical, emotional and financial capital and, oh my gosh, so much TIME, to drinking alcohol, suffering from it, recovering from it, then starting all over again, day after day.
With just the basics of daily life needing to get done, at a bare minimum, how could I imagine to do any of the "bigger" things I dreamt of? Look at Kenton's list of accomplishments in just under a year sober.. wow. What a difference.
It's such a glaring truth, and yet in the midst of the delusion of addiction, it seems "reasonable" and even "fair" that we can have this so-called "treat" to be able to poison, limit and cripple ourselves. It's ridiculous what we were willing to give up, and then feel sorry for ourselves that we can't continue doing it. "Oh, poor me, I can't keep drinking and living that great life damaging myself with alcohol the way other people can." It makes no sense.
There is just no way that daily drinking, or cyclical binge drinking, will ever improve anyone's life or happiness or be anything but self-limitation. How can we expect to meet unexpected challenges with any strength if we are handicapping ourselves in that way?
I'm thinking more about this right now because, although a recent physical was good, I had one last lab test come back positive that is leading to me needing to see a specialist.
It has nothing to do with drinking, but it could mean I may be dealing with a health issue requiring medication and/or treatment that I probably could not have handled as a drinker. I'm not overly worrying.. I will tackle it if and when it comes.. but I'm relieved and grateful that I can face whatever it is without any worries that I'd be at my absolute worst shape for dealing with it, had I still been harming myself with alcohol. And what a relief to be able to say truthfully that I don't drink alcohol.
So to everyone just lurking and wondering if it's "time" to quit .. it is. Life is such a fragile gift. Don't waste another minute, no matter what age you are. Cherish your body and your soul. No one of us ever knows what twist or turn our lives will take, or those of our loved ones.
If you think you don't deserve a better life, that's the alcohol talking. If you think your life can't be better, you are mistaken.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 51
Great points, tealily!
I can't believe how many hours, days, weeks, months and years I spent just "sitting around" drinking and smoking cigarettes!
I sometimes get a chill remembering how my day-to-day was (before I lived with my husband). Getting home from work, parking on the couch and drinking cider after cider while I smoked cigarettes and listened to music or surfed the net. Totally unproductive!
I never managed to get anything on my to-do list done (even the easy chores) because I was prioritizing the idle drinking.
Every day sober now I appreciate all that I can do. I go to the gym, I "mom", I write a blog, I do freelance writing, I take care of my dog, I clean my house, I cook, I spend time with friends and family. So much better than just drinking cider, smoking and ordering pizza.
<3
I can't believe how many hours, days, weeks, months and years I spent just "sitting around" drinking and smoking cigarettes!
I sometimes get a chill remembering how my day-to-day was (before I lived with my husband). Getting home from work, parking on the couch and drinking cider after cider while I smoked cigarettes and listened to music or surfed the net. Totally unproductive!
I never managed to get anything on my to-do list done (even the easy chores) because I was prioritizing the idle drinking.
Every day sober now I appreciate all that I can do. I go to the gym, I "mom", I write a blog, I do freelance writing, I take care of my dog, I clean my house, I cook, I spend time with friends and family. So much better than just drinking cider, smoking and ordering pizza.
<3
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,246
Thanks Tealily.......great post. I am going to have to see a few specialists for ongoing symptoms. Its scary; sometimes it makes me want to drink. BUT, I agree that I can now face this better without being wasted or hung over. I too will be so glad not to lie when they ask about my drinking now.
Good luck with the medical investigations.
Good luck with the medical investigations.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 666
Originally Posted by DarklingSong 
Thanks Tealily.......great post. I am going to have to see a few specialists for ongoing symptoms. Its scary; sometimes it makes me want to drink. BUT, I agree that I can now face this better without being wasted or hung over. I too will be so glad not to lie when they ask about my drinking now.
Good luck with the medical investigations.
Good luck with the medical investigations.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
