Being Proactive
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 11
Being Proactive
Today makes 1 week since I walked out on my AH and I am trying my best to keep busy and make positive changes in my life. I applied for insurance, I applied for food stamps, and I have been applying for jobs like crazy. I think I have applied to over 12 jobs so far (hey someone has to call back any day now right?) I also set up an appointment with a counselor so that I can start to work through my codependency issues and to learn how to continue to move forward and create a healthy life for myself. I thought I would wake up this morning and be a mess and keep replaying how "this time last week we were still together" nonsense but instead as I sit here writing this I am so proud of myself and so happy to be pushing myself forward.
I still have not gone no contact. Something about never hearing his voice again makes me panic. Deep down I know the only reason he is not acting like a psycho right now is because he is trying to get me to come back home. I know deep down that if I ever went home he would treat me worse then ever because I left. Urgh. I don't know. I guess I will keep taking it one day at a time and continue to move forward.
I hope everyone has a peaceful and fulfilling day today!
I still have not gone no contact. Something about never hearing his voice again makes me panic. Deep down I know the only reason he is not acting like a psycho right now is because he is trying to get me to come back home. I know deep down that if I ever went home he would treat me worse then ever because I left. Urgh. I don't know. I guess I will keep taking it one day at a time and continue to move forward.
I hope everyone has a peaceful and fulfilling day today!
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
You sound pretty amazing, healthy and grounded in a very difficult situation. Sending you some peace and a big (((HUG))). THere is nothing easy about what you are doing....but it's going to make all the difference for your life! Much love to you.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
MR,
So proud of you!! I am sure it was the hardest thing you have ever done. Keep your focus on your goals, and moving forward. You know that if he continues to pressure you, you will cave. Limiting the contact is good, and you can choose to respond or not, its your choice not his anymore.
Congrats on doing all those things, what you have accomplished in a week is amazing. I will say a prayer that you get a call back for an interview. I can just feel the excitement in your thread. You can do this, you don't have to live with an addict any longer. Just because we love someone, doesn't always mean that they are good for us and we have to live with them.
You are a strong and beautiful women, you got this my friend!!! Hugs!! (let us know how you are doing!!)
So proud of you!! I am sure it was the hardest thing you have ever done. Keep your focus on your goals, and moving forward. You know that if he continues to pressure you, you will cave. Limiting the contact is good, and you can choose to respond or not, its your choice not his anymore.
Congrats on doing all those things, what you have accomplished in a week is amazing. I will say a prayer that you get a call back for an interview. I can just feel the excitement in your thread. You can do this, you don't have to live with an addict any longer. Just because we love someone, doesn't always mean that they are good for us and we have to live with them.
You are a strong and beautiful women, you got this my friend!!! Hugs!! (let us know how you are doing!!)
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
Wow, look at you go! That’s fantastic that you did all of those things for yourself, don’t give up on the job search something is going to come along.
I echo limiting the contact. All of those nice things he may be saying in order to get you right back to where you were, can “feel” welcomed especially when we are having a down day or feeling overwhelmed or sad with ourselves.
Keep reminding yourself – the cause of our pain is never the healer for our pain.
Keep up the great work!!! so proud of you!!
Deep down I know the only reason he is not acting like a psycho right now is because he is trying to get me to come back home.
Keep reminding yourself – the cause of our pain is never the healer for our pain.
Keep up the great work!!! so proud of you!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 11
Originally Posted by maia1234 
MR,
So proud of you!! I am sure it was the hardest thing you have ever done. Keep your focus on your goals, and moving forward. You know that if he continues to pressure you, you will cave. Limiting the contact is good, and you can choose to respond or not, its your choice not his anymore.
Congrats on doing all those things, what you have accomplished in a week is amazing. I will say a prayer that you get a call back for an interview. I can just feel the excitement in your thread. You can do this, you don't have to live with an addict any longer. Just because we love someone, doesn't always mean that they are good for us and we have to live with them.
You are a strong and beautiful women, you got this my friend!!! Hugs!! (let us know how you are doing!!)
So proud of you!! I am sure it was the hardest thing you have ever done. Keep your focus on your goals, and moving forward. You know that if he continues to pressure you, you will cave. Limiting the contact is good, and you can choose to respond or not, its your choice not his anymore.
Congrats on doing all those things, what you have accomplished in a week is amazing. I will say a prayer that you get a call back for an interview. I can just feel the excitement in your thread. You can do this, you don't have to live with an addict any longer. Just because we love someone, doesn't always mean that they are good for us and we have to live with them.
You are a strong and beautiful women, you got this my friend!!! Hugs!! (let us know how you are doing!!)
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 11
Originally Posted by maia1234
They always say on this forum... tell an addict "no" and see if his true colors come out. More will be revealed.
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 190
I know exactly what is motivating you right now--it's the desire to move on and prove to yourself that you don't need him. (You don't, by the way.)
I've been bitten by the same bug. Ever since AXBF moved out, I've been throwing away all of the junk he was piling up in the garage like a pack rat, redecorating the house, exposing my daughter to new, exciting things, and delving into some big projects at work.
It feels good, doesn't it? It may seem like you're just distracting yourself, but that's okay. It's better than calling him, better than seeing him, and certainly better than going back to someone who is incapable of valuing you because he doesn't even know how to value himself. Good for you!
I've been bitten by the same bug. Ever since AXBF moved out, I've been throwing away all of the junk he was piling up in the garage like a pack rat, redecorating the house, exposing my daughter to new, exciting things, and delving into some big projects at work.
It feels good, doesn't it? It may seem like you're just distracting yourself, but that's okay. It's better than calling him, better than seeing him, and certainly better than going back to someone who is incapable of valuing you because he doesn't even know how to value himself. Good for you!
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
What an inspirational Thread!!! Yea MR!!
Look how far you have come. Pat yourself on the back and smile, as we all sit and smile for you. You did this, all by yourself.
All the other people on this forum are reading this and seeing your inspiration and the positive vibes you are giving off. Its is contagious my friend!!!
Go out and conquer the world!!
Look how far you have come. Pat yourself on the back and smile, as we all sit and smile for you. You did this, all by yourself.
All the other people on this forum are reading this and seeing your inspiration and the positive vibes you are giving off. Its is contagious my friend!!!
Go out and conquer the world!!
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