DarkestHour

My problem with alcohol has progressed. I've been drinking for two decades now with periodic times of sobriety. I never could moderate. This summer it has gotten worse though. I've drank to get drunk almost every day since June.

I'm ashamed and I'm scared. I can't think straight, and I don't know where to go. Right now, I'm just trying to make it through today without picking up. I've read much on these forums for a while now, and my story is not unlike many others on here. Reading from people's posts gives me hope, but I'm genuinely scared. I always knew I had a problem, but I never thought I'd become a daily drinker. I guess that's how it gets you. It got me. So now I got a therapist and am planning on sticking around here. Thanks for reading.

graciepearl

Welcome! You are in the right place.

Mummyto2

Welcome, and good luck its a great place to be

Delizadee

Welcome to SR Darkesthour
You're in the right place, you will receive lots of good support here. You can do this! Keep reading and post here as much as you need.
I know reading lots of the stickies in the forums really helped me when I started SR and started posting.

I know it's scary at first. We're all here for you though, I hope you keep it in mind that you are never alone. It will get better!

loulou1981

Hey, welcome to SR, post & read daily, some people suggest AA, I haven't been myself so cant comment.
Im on my 2nd attempt of sobriety after failing yet again to drink moderately...I've finally accepted im not a moderate drinker & never will b, so to save my life/family/marriage/mental health/job i have chosen NEVER to drink again.
I come here several times a day & i have my 1st addiction counselling session tomo!!

Good luck!

DarkestHour

Thank you for the heartfelt replies. I feel alone in this as alcohol is part of everything it seems. People at work, friends, family... when I told a friend I've been drinking every day this summer, she thought it was great. Well, maybe she's not the kind of friend I need right now. It's good to know I'm not alone though. Thanks again. Your replies have helped.

joandmelandhan

Darkesthour I feel the fear in your OP:
"Right now, I'm just trying to make it through today without picking up"
That will do for today my friend! Please take the time to rest if you need to., keep hydrated and above all stay close to SR. This place has literally saved me on more than one occasion and I feel blessed to have found it.
You may wish to check in daily on the 24 hour thread and/or join the class of August 2017. The mutual support is amazing.
Take care

DarkestHour

Thank you, joandmelandhan! Today is all I'm focusing on. I've joined class of August. Thanks!

MidnightRider

Welcome!
There is LIFE without alcohol. Trust me.
It takes a little while to come to terms with the social aspect.

DarkestHour

MidnightRider. I believe you. It's going to take time and work and a whole new way of living. Thank you.

Pinky1

Welcome keep posting I'm day 2 x

DarkestHour

Thank you, Pinky1. We can do this

teaorcoffee

Glad you are here DH, just saw your post in August. I think summer may have been the tipping point for lots of us, so you are in good company.
However the summer has been, what is important is that you're here now.
Keep posting and good luck with your new start.

Berrybean

Welcome DH. You know, the darkest hour is just befor dawn. Your new sober dawn beckons.

Have you thought about a sober plan yet? There are some great threads to get you started when you're ready to do so.

And you're right about the kind of friends that you need right now. Maybe think about your local support network and build it up with your non drinking aquaintences and social opportunities. It takes a while, but suddenly you tend to find that your sober social life is just as busy (if not busier) than your drinking one was.

Wishing you all the best for you sobriety and your recovery.
BB

thomas11

Welcome to SR, the fear you feel is likely from the alcohol. If you can just stay sober today, and then tomorrow, and take each day as they come, I think you'll notice that fear subside. You will also feel physically better and you can build upon that.

Verdantia

Welcome, DarkestHour. I drank for many years and knew I drank too much but always thought I could quit, until I realized I was in very deep and was very addicted. I could never moderate either; with alcohol I have no off switch. 19 months ago I nearly died in a horrific car accident and realized that if I ever drank again I would die, no question about it. I have been given a wonderful gift by surviving and through the help of a solid recovery plan and the amazing people at SR I am staying sober and feeling strong. I wish you all the best in your sober journey. You can do this.

DarkestHour

Words cannot express the gratitude I feel for each of your replies. I'm truly touched and inspired by your words of support. You've helped someone stay sober today. Thank you.

Jezzi

Welcome to SR. The people here are truly amazing, you're in the right place!

JudicatorPanzer

I have been there my friend. What I did was started AA, got a sponsor, started working the steps, I go to a group therapy for addicts once a week, and all in all I'm having to turn my life around 180. It's a constant every day thing I have to work on, but I never want to go back to the way I was living drunk.

joandmelandhan

That's how this wonderful place works DarkestHour. Keep posting and leaning on us