SimplyFree

Even at 105 days or 15 weeks my AV decided to speak up after I reached the 100 day mark. My alcohol love was Porte wine. And yes it does sound good. But I know where that takes me.....back to day 1 and worse yet the disappointment in my son's eyes would be horrible. No I'm not likely to drink, but we all know how our AV can wear us down at moments. I know one of my problems is I don't currently have a car project, so I don't have some thing to focus on. I do have an old 66 Nova that I should pull into the shop and work on. It's a project but not the same. I know how I work and I need to stay busy but it's a rainy day here today. I ran 5.5 miles already, I'm planing on cleaning some carpets, fertilizing the plants, and then I can go weed or work on the Nova.

My daughter's birthday is tomorrow and of course being hung over would make it a "less than" day. There are always so many good reasons to maintain sobriety, I'm not sure why I even entertain my AV for a moment. HALTS is awesome! Hungry ??.....Angry.....always in a low frustrated way, lonely.....goes without saying, tired...a healthy tired from running, sad.....goes with lonely. All these need managed. Staying busy and mentally occupied continues to be the answer. It is helpful to have those triggers identified for all of us.
Yes I'm just rambling, but sometimes that is all it takes to make it ok.
Stay sober and strong everyone!

Maybe list what day you are on and tell your AV no thanks today!

tealily

Good of you to post and "ramble" instead of listening to that lying voice! Funny how it can sneak up from nowhere.

I'm at "67 days of freedom" according to the counter on my phone.

Hang in there. Remember you are SimplyFree!

CreativeThinker

You're doing really well SF. Do NOT listen to the AV. Go back and read the posts from those who have relapsed. That should help you move through this temporary period.

5.5 mi is awesome! You never would have been able to accomplish running that far if you were still drinking.

RetiredGuy

Yea, that AV is a stubborn fool. I am almost at 6 months and the thought of drinking still enters my mind occasionally. Fortunately, I finally realize where that first drink will leave me and it seems like you do too!

SimplyFree

Thanks for for comments. I'm not one to fall off the wagon, rather I would likely jump. That is the challenge. But I truly do believe one is too many and I truly do hate day 1s, so I'm cleaning carpets now. Sticking with what got me this far....staying very busy.

Endoftheday

Well done on 105 days SimplyFree

SimplyFree

Stayed busy all day. The carpets are cleaner and quite a bite of weeding was accomplished. Also prepping for my daughter's birthday. I even took a short 15 min nap to take some of the edge off. Seemed to work wonders.

Dee74

Hope today is a better day SF

D

LastingChange

Thanks for posting, Simply Free.

Well done on acknowledging the underlying issues that drive your AV. This is the best step on the road to addressing and resolving/managing them, and in turn maintaining long term sobriety.

Keep reading/posting and keep yourself busy and focused on your daughter's birthday.

We're here for you - you are not alone!

SimplyFree

Thanks everyone! My daughter turned 14 with a still sober Dad! I played guitar this morning and have no regrets for the day! That makes tomorrow already a bright possibility.