please help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: London
Posts: 4
please help
here I am again. im just a lost cause. I don't drink every day. maybe once a week or 2 weeks but when I do it carnage. ive just woke after another blackout. feel horrific, smoked 40 cigs, chest pains. ive tried everything AA, POSTING on here, nothing helps me. because im not a daily drinker ive deluded my self I don't have problem, but I cant deny it any more. once I start drinking I cant stop till im blackout. im a femaile and put myself in danger. Im scared cos ive been trying to stop for 7 years but always forget how bad it was and start gain. I cant even trust myself to have a bankcard as I know I will end up drinking. its affected my whole life, I cant even keep a relationship cos im such a mess. Im in my 30's and still stay with my parents. I want to stop so bad but I just cant do it
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 2,256
Hi Bella,
I'm sorry you're feeling so low today but you know what, that might turn out to be a good thing. Remember how you are feeling today. Write it down and read it in a few days time when your hangover has gone and your AV is telling you you're probably ok to drink again.
I can't begin to express how much better life is sober. I want you to experience it for yourself. Admitting you have a problem is the first step and you've done that which is great. Accept that you can't drink like a normal drinker and make sobriety your number 1 priority. One day at a time. Good luck.
I'm sorry you're feeling so low today but you know what, that might turn out to be a good thing. Remember how you are feeling today. Write it down and read it in a few days time when your hangover has gone and your AV is telling you you're probably ok to drink again.
I can't begin to express how much better life is sober. I want you to experience it for yourself. Admitting you have a problem is the first step and you've done that which is great. Accept that you can't drink like a normal drinker and make sobriety your number 1 priority. One day at a time. Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 5,453
Bella-
You definitely aren't a lost cause. I have been there too. You have to play the tape forward and remember where 1 drink leads.
remember HALT. Don't let yourself get Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. Those are big triggers. Also post here when you need help.
I hope you feel better soon. Take good care of yourself today.
You definitely aren't a lost cause. I have been there too. You have to play the tape forward and remember where 1 drink leads.
remember HALT. Don't let yourself get Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. Those are big triggers. Also post here when you need help.
I hope you feel better soon. Take good care of yourself today.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
"ive tried everything AA, POSTING on here, nothing helps me. "
4 posts in 2 years??? how is that going to help anything?
exactly what did you DO with AA? did you read the big book, go to meetings, get a sponsor, work the steps, get into service work, help others???
you want to stop drinking FOR GOOD, yer gonna have to commit to it.
i hope you wouldnt be another person who says rehab isnt an option
4 posts in 2 years??? how is that going to help anything?
exactly what did you DO with AA? did you read the big book, go to meetings, get a sponsor, work the steps, get into service work, help others???
you want to stop drinking FOR GOOD, yer gonna have to commit to it.
i hope you wouldnt be another person who says rehab isnt an option
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: France
Posts: 3,040
Hi, I am not a daily drinker either, and its easy to kid yourself that because your not, that you dont have a problem, someone once told me to define an alcoholic, so I said someone who gets up and drinks, cant work, etc etc, they said NO, its someone who picks up a drink at anytime and cant stop no matter what, that person was my uncle who has now been 23yrs sober, good luck
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,981
You've got to want to quit drinking for than anything, and truly give it your 100%. Thinking you are a lost cause and trying to fool yourself it's not that bad as it's not every day are just AV excuses.
Go to AA every day, get a sponsor, also possibly look into rehab.
Go to AA every day, get a sponsor, also possibly look into rehab.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 51
Hi Bella,
It sounds as though a rehab facility might be a good option for you, if you feel as though other methods are not helpful.
Also, you are right that you have "deluded" yourself into thinking you don't have a problem because you don't drink daily. Alcoholism doesn't depend on a certain frequency of drinking or a particular volume of drinks consumed. If drinking has caused your life to become unmanageable (and that seems to be what you're describing here) then you are an alcoholic and you need immediate support. We are here for you, but it sounds as though you are in crisis. I urge you to talk to your parents or a counselor who can help you find a rehab facility.
All the best.
It sounds as though a rehab facility might be a good option for you, if you feel as though other methods are not helpful.
Also, you are right that you have "deluded" yourself into thinking you don't have a problem because you don't drink daily. Alcoholism doesn't depend on a certain frequency of drinking or a particular volume of drinks consumed. If drinking has caused your life to become unmanageable (and that seems to be what you're describing here) then you are an alcoholic and you need immediate support. We are here for you, but it sounds as though you are in crisis. I urge you to talk to your parents or a counselor who can help you find a rehab facility.
All the best.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,513
Bella, you can do this!
You must not stop trying and there are more recovery tools than AA and SR.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
You must not stop trying and there are more recovery tools than AA and SR.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 666
Bella,
You are not a lost cause. There is hope for everyone! Life is such a gift.
What I found is that "trying" to cut back, "hoping" to not drink to excess, didn't work. I finally just had to do it. Don't pick it up. Don't pour it through your system. To choose a better life for myself, choose health, choose the chance for getting out of the rut I was in. I had to take alcohol off the table. It added nothing good to my life. It was costing me money, time, health, my looks, my motivation.
The cost is way too high.
You are still young, and I can tell you want a better life. If you keep on with the pattern you've been in, nothing will change, and it will get worse.
Make this the time you turn the corner.
Life can be so much better!
You are not a lost cause. There is hope for everyone! Life is such a gift.
What I found is that "trying" to cut back, "hoping" to not drink to excess, didn't work. I finally just had to do it. Don't pick it up. Don't pour it through your system. To choose a better life for myself, choose health, choose the chance for getting out of the rut I was in. I had to take alcohol off the table. It added nothing good to my life. It was costing me money, time, health, my looks, my motivation.
The cost is way too high.
You are still young, and I can tell you want a better life. If you keep on with the pattern you've been in, nothing will change, and it will get worse.
Make this the time you turn the corner.
Life can be so much better!
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
I wasn't a daily drinker either, except when I was very young and recovery from the hangovers wasn't so bad. It just took too much out of me.
One thing that helped me stop and stay stopped this last time, was understanding and accepting that it was going to feel awful when I first stopped and that I would just have to get through it no matter what. But, I also knew that it wouldn't last and if I could manage to not give in and drink, it would begin to get easier. I had to be willing to be real uncomfortable for a while, though.
Doing it on my own never worked for me. I had to get help from people who had been through it themselves. For me that was rehab and AA. In AA I got a sponsor and did the 12 Steps, went to meetings and got involved. In time, life got better and better.
No one is a lost cause if they are willing to do the work.
One thing that helped me stop and stay stopped this last time, was understanding and accepting that it was going to feel awful when I first stopped and that I would just have to get through it no matter what. But, I also knew that it wouldn't last and if I could manage to not give in and drink, it would begin to get easier. I had to be willing to be real uncomfortable for a while, though.
Doing it on my own never worked for me. I had to get help from people who had been through it themselves. For me that was rehab and AA. In AA I got a sponsor and did the 12 Steps, went to meetings and got involved. In time, life got better and better.
No one is a lost cause if they are willing to do the work.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: UK, South Coast
Posts: 605
Hi Bella, im not a daily drinker either, but when i drink i drink like the world is about to end!! Literally 2 bottles of wine (1 hidden of course) but what u have to accept is that if alcohol causes u to feel crap & has a negative impact on ur life then u have to stop, we are all alcoholics/addicts/problem drinkers..whatever u want to call it, doesn't matter if its all day everyday or blacking out once a week.
Keep posting here, we r all at various stages in our journey, but we all support each other
Keep posting here, we r all at various stages in our journey, but we all support each other
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Edwardsville, IL
Posts: 82
Bella, I am in the same boat, just like many other alcoholics. I don't drink all the time, but I am powerless over alcohol. Once I take that first drink, its over. You are not a lost cause.
I went on a bender last night too and woke up realizing that I have to COMMIT to not taking the first drink. I hope you stay on here, check back all the time, re-read your own posts and realize you can beat this. You can do it. We all can. It's not easy all the time, but its possible and many have done it. We are all here for one another. There are great supportive people here and thats why i came back after a 3 year hiatus. Having someone to talk to, even just online can be a tremendous help.
I went on a bender last night too and woke up realizing that I have to COMMIT to not taking the first drink. I hope you stay on here, check back all the time, re-read your own posts and realize you can beat this. You can do it. We all can. It's not easy all the time, but its possible and many have done it. We are all here for one another. There are great supportive people here and thats why i came back after a 3 year hiatus. Having someone to talk to, even just online can be a tremendous help.
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
Welcome, Belladella 
No one is a lost cause. I hope you stick around and use the support of SR. There is much wisdom and real, practical help so generously offered up by your SR family, you just need to reach out for it. Please start reading and posting regularly. You CAN do this
No one is a lost cause. I hope you stick around and use the support of SR. There is much wisdom and real, practical help so generously offered up by your SR family, you just need to reach out for it. Please start reading and posting regularly. You CAN do this
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: CA
Posts: 1,060
Never Give UP!!! If you really want to quit drinking, pick a recovery plan and follow it. Follow it to the letter, no "easier softer way" about it. AA works for every single person that reads the book, does the steps and helps others to do the steps. The success rate is low because everyone wants an easier softer way. There isn't one. Do the work that it takes to save your own life. You are so worth it. Good luck
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 25
Bella I am just like you only 20 years older. I've been binge drinking and fooling myself since I was 14. I've suddenly realized I have a real problem although I've been thrown in the drunk tank, ruined relationships, been fired for being drunk at a company event and biting someone! Last night I binge drank and sent my new boss a bunch of mean texts. I live with someone who drinks every day starting any time after 11 am by 6 he is wasted. I have to do this for myself and do it now. I've been on here reading all these posts all day and I really think it may just help. My advice is what everyone seems to be saying on every thread: just don't drink no matter what. I'm going to do that. I'm on day one.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Portland maine
Posts: 1,330
Hi - you have the gift of youth. Check out a woman's rehab. It is what woke me up and I am 61. You do not have to ride the elevator to the bottom. I was by the side of the road, got arrested, had lost my beloved job and my family were completely disgusted. Now I am holding my head up high and taking it a day at a time. YOU CAN TOO!
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