Horn95

Had a relapse again this past weekend. Last drink was last night around 6 pm. last night. Thankfully no withdrawals other than really bad depression and anxiety.

Clearly my plan did not work. I am wondering if there are sample plans someone can point me to. I was going to put one together with my counselor, but we have since parted ways.

I am horribly, horribly depressed and anxious. The only way out of this is sobriety. And I have to stop saying I can just have one, or relying on alcohol to take the edge off.

Thanks in advance for the support. I will
Not drink today. I will not drink today. Btw, freeowl, if you read this, your posts have been so inspiring. I am on a plane right now, and I have had to fight back tears a number of times reading them. Thanks so much.

ScottFromWI

The link posted below is a great place to start. Even spending time here on SR in itself can be a great resource in early sobriety.

All plans/programs require you to first accept that drinking is not an option anymore. In AA that happens in step 1. In AVRT it comes by recognizing the Beast. Each plan is different but they all have one thing in common - making an absolute commitment that drinking now, or ever, is not an option anymore.

Some people need even more help to get started - Inpatient/Outpatient rehab even. If you are truly committed to wanting sobriety, don't rule anything out.

Finally I'd say that while some plans are "simple"...none are "easy". You will have to do things you don't want to do and change your life significantly. But it is definitely worth it in the long run.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

Midwest1981

Horn- I am glad you are back. You are right things start to turn around when you accept where 1 drink leads you.

I hope you feel better soon. Add on to what has worked in the past.

doggonecarl

Leaving the door open to drinking leads to drinking. You have to take it off the table.

Your post before this was about the airport being a trigger. I take it this relapse had nothing to do with flying?

We alcoholics don't need triggers to drink. We drink. And that "triggers" the obsession to keep drinking.

I could go through your posts and look to see what you are actually doing for your recovery, but I'm going to guess that there is something you've avoided--for whatever reason--that others have suggested and you've opted not to engage in that method. It might be time to admit that doing it your way isn't working. So, identify what recovery option you've been balking at, and start incorporating it.

thomas11

Sorry you relapsed Horn, glad you got back here and owned up to it. I just want to reiterate what Scott said and that is all plans for sobriety are relatively simple, but are not easy, and that is where people sometimes fail. Make sobriety the highest priority in your life for awhile. With time its gets much easier. The "pull" of alcohol is not constant.

Dee74

The key to success is change, and the key to change is action.
I know you can do this Horn

D

Horn95

Thanks Dee. Today was a rough day. Really bad anxiety and depression. I made it to 24 hours without a drink. I am at my hotel watching MSNBC. Was going to work out, but I'm zapped. No alcohol though. Looking forward to getting a decent night's sleep.

So I am now working on Day 2.

CreativeThinker

Hey Horn,

Great job on coming back to post. As mentioned by others, commitment and accountability is key in the beginning of recovery. Eventually, "the pull" to drink WILL diminish, but I had to change my lifestyle, use recovery tools and form "the plan" first. Everyone's plan is an individual commitment, as we are all at different levels alcoholism, leading different lives. As others have mentioned, be sure to include activities that push you and possibly make you feel uncomfortable in the beginning. As you grow, you will learn to love the changes you have incorporated into your life.

I too continued to relapse over and over again. It was SO frustrating! I think what's made the difference time for me is I have totally surrendered, alcohol has been completely taken off the table for good and today I will do anything to not pick up a drink again because I've learned something from every relapse.

Hang in, it really does get better...it just takes TIME!

Hevyn

Horn - thankfully, you returned to us to talk about what happened. You didn't let it turn into a long binge. You're back to continue reclaiming your life - to get free. You're going to do it.

Zebra1275

AA has a plan that helped me get, and stay, sober.

Delilah1

Hi Horn,

Welcome back!! I also learned the hard way that I could not have just one, I definitely tested moderation way too many times, and the result was always the same, I couldn't moderate my drinking.

I really think the key for me this time has been to focus on recovery, rather than obsessing over the fact that "I can't drink." I looked at my life and how I could make healthy choices physically and emotionally, and I took alcohol completely out of the equation, it just wasn't an option.

I used SR as my main part of my recovery plan, but I also read, journal, exercise, and use mindfulness. I have found better ways to deal with my stress and anxiety. Life continues to throw curve balls st us when we are sober, but we learn to deal with them in a healthier way.

You can do this!

SWB

My first day too, be strong we can do this🙂