Day Zero (again)
Day Zero (again)
Hi.
I had a blip a couple of weeks ago and unfortunately got derailed completely. I've even been called out by a sibling over my drinking, naturally I denied but I know he knew. I have been really bad, it's not even 7am and I've had a drink already.
Going to head round my brothers later and stay for a couple of days, that's how I got started last time.
I think what happened is, and I am not making excuses, the drink didn't pour itself down my throat, I suffer from Intrusive Thoughts, basically getting strong urges to do something stupid, not suicidal though, but not normal behaviour and one morning I let them get to me, did something I regret and then felt guilty about it.
So, I'm hopefully back for good this time.
I had a blip a couple of weeks ago and unfortunately got derailed completely. I've even been called out by a sibling over my drinking, naturally I denied but I know he knew. I have been really bad, it's not even 7am and I've had a drink already.
Going to head round my brothers later and stay for a couple of days, that's how I got started last time.
I think what happened is, and I am not making excuses, the drink didn't pour itself down my throat, I suffer from Intrusive Thoughts, basically getting strong urges to do something stupid, not suicidal though, but not normal behaviour and one morning I let them get to me, did something I regret and then felt guilty about it.
So, I'm hopefully back for good this time.
Welcome back! If you are having thoughts about hurting yourself, you should definitely see a doctor, there are many supports out there. Going to your brother's house for a few days sounds like it worked for getting you started, have you thought about a plan to help you stay sober once you leave? If not, spend some time on this site reading around, there are lots of great supports, this site being one of them.
I hope going to your brother's kick starts your sobriety again! Then you need a plan for dealing with things moving into the future - especially those Intrusive Thoughts. Good Luck Tynesider.
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