need to talk
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: ottawa, canada
Posts: 5
need to talk
I only have the computer for a certain amount of time. I am not feeling so good right now and I am too shy or maybe afraid of asking any peticular people for help. I am going to a CD AA meeting tonight but I don't think I can share. I mean I can if I want to it is just that I don't know I have had alot of anxiety lately. One minute I feel completely at peace I would even go as far a saying I feel enlightened. Two minutes later I feel upset irritable confused. I do have one thing bothering me which i would love to talk about, but I can't. I am not one to care what people may think of me because as long as i am honest with myself on a daily basis, or in my case on a minute by minute basis I sincerely believe I have nothing to worry about. The thing is, this thing that I can not talk about,
this thing that is driving me crazy has to do with honesty as far as I am concerned. Because it pertains to how I feel about a situation regarding someone who is very close to me. All I know for sure is I cannot handle anybody elses emotional turmoil, I am very empathic, but God knows I need time for me. I need time to heal. The last thing I need in early recovery is someone laying their personal problems on me. Even then it is more than that. I do not want to come across as some cold hearted you know what. The way I feel for people goes beyond words. I am the type of person that can walk into a room full of people blind-folded and walk right up to the person who is suffering. I can can also walk right up to the psychopath. THat being said because I have a tendency to feel very strongly and to pick up vibes especially negative ones these days I try my best to keep things as simple as possible.
Please if anyone is online and relates please help thank you
Ps. just wanted to mention that when I am around too much negative energy ( and I am not always conscious of it) I will actually become physically as well emotionally drained to the point where I feel like I cannot breathe I feel like I am drowning. And to be perfectly honest I have been wanting a drink for some time now
:sink
this thing that is driving me crazy has to do with honesty as far as I am concerned. Because it pertains to how I feel about a situation regarding someone who is very close to me. All I know for sure is I cannot handle anybody elses emotional turmoil, I am very empathic, but God knows I need time for me. I need time to heal. The last thing I need in early recovery is someone laying their personal problems on me. Even then it is more than that. I do not want to come across as some cold hearted you know what. The way I feel for people goes beyond words. I am the type of person that can walk into a room full of people blind-folded and walk right up to the person who is suffering. I can can also walk right up to the psychopath. THat being said because I have a tendency to feel very strongly and to pick up vibes especially negative ones these days I try my best to keep things as simple as possible.
Please if anyone is online and relates please help thank you
Ps. just wanted to mention that when I am around too much negative energy ( and I am not always conscious of it) I will actually become physically as well emotionally drained to the point where I feel like I cannot breathe I feel like I am drowning. And to be perfectly honest I have been wanting a drink for some time now
:sink
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,514
Hi Solstice,
Welcome to SR. I'm sorry you're having a tough time right now. I'm not an AA person so I can't offer you any advice there except that if you'd like to go to a meeting and not share I'm sure that's just fine. You could just listen. I'd also say that I agree with you honesty is very important. Since I stopped drinking I am very aware about myself and honesty. I had to stop telling people what they wanted to hear and try to express what I really felt.
I'm not sure how I feel about not wanting to deal with other people's problems. I think it can be helpful at times to know that other people share the same problems that you have. And, sometimes offering support to someone else can be empowering to you. That's just my opinion!
Hang in there.
Love, Anna
Welcome to SR. I'm sorry you're having a tough time right now. I'm not an AA person so I can't offer you any advice there except that if you'd like to go to a meeting and not share I'm sure that's just fine. You could just listen. I'd also say that I agree with you honesty is very important. Since I stopped drinking I am very aware about myself and honesty. I had to stop telling people what they wanted to hear and try to express what I really felt.
I'm not sure how I feel about not wanting to deal with other people's problems. I think it can be helpful at times to know that other people share the same problems that you have. And, sometimes offering support to someone else can be empowering to you. That's just my opinion!
Hang in there.
Love, Anna
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: ottawa, canada
Posts: 5
need to talk
51anna
Oh wow I hope that I did not give off that impression. I appreciate your reply. This is the thing with computers it is rather hard to express how I am really feeling. I am not very good with words, because judging by your reply I come across as someone who does not want to help others. I know that wonderful feeling I can get by helping someone else and not thinking about my own problems.
What I was talking about was more along the lines of dealing with someone who is close to me. I really don't want to say too much here. I love listening to my friends problems and if I can help great. I was refering to the fact that this person in my life has alot of insecurities and is exetremely self conscious to the point where in one meeting I was wearing this scarf, but because he didnt like it, he was afraid of how he may look when I got up to pick up my 30 day chip he actually turned to me before I got up and told me to take it off and made some wise crack about it. I gave him the dirtiest look and he said he was only joking. I am talking about not having time for that kind of stuff. Regardless I thankyou for your reply
Oh wow I hope that I did not give off that impression. I appreciate your reply. This is the thing with computers it is rather hard to express how I am really feeling. I am not very good with words, because judging by your reply I come across as someone who does not want to help others. I know that wonderful feeling I can get by helping someone else and not thinking about my own problems.
What I was talking about was more along the lines of dealing with someone who is close to me. I really don't want to say too much here. I love listening to my friends problems and if I can help great. I was refering to the fact that this person in my life has alot of insecurities and is exetremely self conscious to the point where in one meeting I was wearing this scarf, but because he didnt like it, he was afraid of how he may look when I got up to pick up my 30 day chip he actually turned to me before I got up and told me to take it off and made some wise crack about it. I gave him the dirtiest look and he said he was only joking. I am talking about not having time for that kind of stuff. Regardless I thankyou for your reply
doing the inside job
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: planet happy
Posts: 542
welcome solstice.
I was there not too long ago.
I went NUTZ, That how I felt the day I signed on.
I was emotionally , mentally, spiratually, bankrupt becuase of the insanity.
BEWILDER !
I didn't want anybody around.
I basicailly had to laugh, cry, get angry, go crazy.
I mess up and relaps
It only shoved all the madness further down into me.
It further prolong my sufferning and delay my healing.
I finally broke down and ask for help from my higher power
I was there not too long ago.
I went NUTZ, That how I felt the day I signed on.
I was emotionally , mentally, spiratually, bankrupt becuase of the insanity.
BEWILDER !
I didn't want anybody around.
I basicailly had to laugh, cry, get angry, go crazy.
I mess up and relaps
It only shoved all the madness further down into me.
It further prolong my sufferning and delay my healing.
I finally broke down and ask for help from my higher power
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