Chilledice

I think its day 6 im on or day 5, not sure my mind is all over the place.

Anyways yeah im dry no booze, stuck inside my mind of mental torment and suffering like never before and feel like im hanging on by a thread.

Anyways whatever, checking in!

Chilledice

I feel like im going pitch black inside!

Beedebea

Awesome job on pushing through the first few miserable days! No matter where you're up to, you are still here, which is what matters. Keep checking in!

Chilledice

Thanks i appreciate it, its more than just early day blues im going through.................i really cant see a way out of this nightmare im in.

captainkitty

Whats your story? Would you like to talk about it?

Chilledice

Suffered a mental breadown 2 years ago and i think its happening again, last 6 weeks have been HORRIFIC for me, i cant survive another one it took all my strength the last time. im only 31 and feel like im done already!

Chilledice

Sorry im just venting dont mean to get too dark.

captainkitty

It's ok..you can keep talking

doggonecarl

Congrats on the sober days you have.

In your previous post you said you were starting meds for your anxiety. Give them time to stabilize and try not to work yourself into a frenzy. A lot of what you are feeling can be attributed to withdrawals. Just hang in there.

Chilledice

Thanks Carl i really appreciate that, i have this thought stuck in my head that this anxiety and panic is forever, obviously not a positive thought to have lol mind racing all over the place, im hanging in there

Beedebea

I doubt that many here haven't been to very, very dark places too. We are here for you.

captainkitty

It helped me to Google about alcohol and anxiety. ..the relationship between alcohol and cortisol (stress hormone) maybe take your mind off things and see why you are feeling the way you are from a medical standpoint out side of what your personal issues might be

Dee74

Have you thought about joined the June support thread Chilledice?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-2-a-6.html

D

AnvilheadII

i have heard that routine and structure really help to balance out a lot of anxiety. it's the "free" time that's the sticky wicket......nothing outward or positive to focus on, nothing to manually engage your body in, and zing there goes the brain into overdrive.

bigguyslimm

That first month or so can be a horrific time. Things should get better with time. Talking to others can definitely help you. Best of luck to you.

Chilledice

Not sure that will help me with my condition, not goona take the intrusive thoughts away. DRAINED is an understatement!

ThatWasTheOldMe

There's a big part of you that wants to be alcohol free

And you're drawing on that energy. Good for you.
Maybe you can set up an appointment with your doctor and explain your past drinking and desire to stay stopped. Best wishes to you.

ThatWasTheOldMe

12 days ago, I spent the night in the emergency room waiting to be transported to a psych ward because I was stuck in a binge and suicidal.

I have my plan in place now and I'm sticking to it because that wasn't very fun. Among plenty of other reasons, of course.

Chilledice

Its not craving that are getting me down, at this point i could care less about booze, i have an anxiety condition and i have a horrific scary thought that makes ZERO sense running through my head all day making me scared!

Its effing cruel!

Chilledice