Triggers and playing the tape backwards
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Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,025
Triggers and playing the tape backwards
Hi everyone,
I have read a few posts and comments about relapses lately, and like probably all of you I have myself relapsed countless times, usually because something would trigger my will to drink and that would start the process again.
I am a believer that triggers are an illusion, they are really just excuses we give ourselves to justify drinking again, so once you truly convince yourself that you no longer drink they become pretty much meaningless.
But convincing yourself you no longer drink is tricky! I am convinced I won't, but give me a sunny afternoon and I can't help thinking a beer would be amazing. I don't think I ever will stop feeling this way, so the way I deal with these moments is by playing the tape backwards.
I found playing the tape forwards hard to do, I can easily convince myself I won't drink as much as before, and I could probably even carry on drinking sensibly for a few weeks, which would gives me the confidence to drink even more, and more, and more....
Now, what I know for sure is how much my life changed over the last few months and how much sobriety helped that happen.
So the question I ask myself on those sunny afternoons is not if I want to end up tired, sick and alone for the sake of a few drinks (playing the tape forward), but instead I ask myself if there is any chance life could have got here if I was still drinking (playing the tape backwards).
In 2 minutes then answer is obvious, the afternoon is still sunny, I m still sober and happy.
Best wishes to eveveryone.
Mr P
I have read a few posts and comments about relapses lately, and like probably all of you I have myself relapsed countless times, usually because something would trigger my will to drink and that would start the process again.
I am a believer that triggers are an illusion, they are really just excuses we give ourselves to justify drinking again, so once you truly convince yourself that you no longer drink they become pretty much meaningless.
But convincing yourself you no longer drink is tricky! I am convinced I won't, but give me a sunny afternoon and I can't help thinking a beer would be amazing. I don't think I ever will stop feeling this way, so the way I deal with these moments is by playing the tape backwards.
I found playing the tape forwards hard to do, I can easily convince myself I won't drink as much as before, and I could probably even carry on drinking sensibly for a few weeks, which would gives me the confidence to drink even more, and more, and more....
Now, what I know for sure is how much my life changed over the last few months and how much sobriety helped that happen.
So the question I ask myself on those sunny afternoons is not if I want to end up tired, sick and alone for the sake of a few drinks (playing the tape forward), but instead I ask myself if there is any chance life could have got here if I was still drinking (playing the tape backwards).
In 2 minutes then answer is obvious, the afternoon is still sunny, I m still sober and happy.
Best wishes to eveveryone.
Mr P
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Thanks MR P.
Happy sober day to you.
As for 'triggers'.... my view is that triggers don't trigger when we are doing the work of sobriety.
Triggers aren't the issue. They have no power unless we give it to them.
Triggers are simply 'life happening'.
Life happens and always will.
So, it is up to us to CHOOSE sobriety and ACT in honor and support of that daily.
When we do that, and do the work, then life happening is not a 'trigger' and our response to life happening is not to go drink.
Happy sober day to you.
As for 'triggers'.... my view is that triggers don't trigger when we are doing the work of sobriety.
Triggers aren't the issue. They have no power unless we give it to them.
Triggers are simply 'life happening'.
Life happens and always will.
So, it is up to us to CHOOSE sobriety and ACT in honor and support of that daily.
When we do that, and do the work, then life happening is not a 'trigger' and our response to life happening is not to go drink.
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
I like this concept. Whilst trying to stop drinking, I'd use the standard 'play the tape forwards' tool - but it never worked for me; the addicted part of my brain was too strong, it just wanted instant gratification and damn how bad I'd feel in the morning.
Since stopping drinking, forever, last year, I began rebuilding my life. This process of transformation has already reaped huge benefits. In addition, I've regained my self-respect and self-esteem...if I can stop drinking after sinking so low into addiction, I can try anything!
I'm in awe at where I am now, compared to last year - playing the tape backwards provides a realisation that I wouldn't be in this position if I hadn't stopped drinking. A far more positive slant.
Since stopping drinking, forever, last year, I began rebuilding my life. This process of transformation has already reaped huge benefits. In addition, I've regained my self-respect and self-esteem...if I can stop drinking after sinking so low into addiction, I can try anything!
I'm in awe at where I am now, compared to last year - playing the tape backwards provides a realisation that I wouldn't be in this position if I hadn't stopped drinking. A far more positive slant.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Originally Posted by MrPL 
I am a believer that triggers are an illusion, they are really just excuses we give ourselves to justify drinking again, so once you truly convince yourself that you no longer drink they become pretty much meaningless.
I don't think I ever will stop feeling this way, so the way I deal with these moments is by playing the tape backwards.
Now, what I know for sure is how much my life changed over the last few months and how much sobriety helped that happen.
So the question I ask myself on those sunny afternoons is not if I want to end up tired, sick and alone for the sake of a few drinks (playing the tape forward), but instead I ask myself if there is any chance life could have got here if I was still drinking (playing the tape backwards).
In 2 minutes then answer is obvious, the afternoon is still sunny, I m still sober and happy.
Best wishes to eveveryone.
Mr P
I too discount the concept of triggers, as I do the idea that relapse is necessary. [I know not everyone agrees with this] The thought of being where I was- and quickly worse- is plenty to subconsciously stop me in my tracks before I get to the merest thought of drinking!
Thanks for sharing.
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 959
MrPL, I really like this idea -- more accomplishment-oriented and positive visualization or positive-reinforcement than playing the tape forward would be (at least in my case).
August, I also like your idea of "making the next right choice."
I'm another one who thinks that "triggers" are too easily used as an evasion of responsibility for the choices we make.
Remember Flip Wilson's Geraldine? "The Devil made me do it."
Sure, something might trigger an urge, but that urge doesn't need to be followed through. We can train ourselves to consider that urge a choice-alert as opposed to "being triggered" like some kind of Manchurian-Candidate scenario.
A while ago I saw one of Russell Brand's videos on YouTube where he mentioned that even after years of being clean and sober, he still feels like getting high every day. But he does not.
August, I also like your idea of "making the next right choice."
I'm another one who thinks that "triggers" are too easily used as an evasion of responsibility for the choices we make.
Remember Flip Wilson's Geraldine? "The Devil made me do it."
Sure, something might trigger an urge, but that urge doesn't need to be followed through. We can train ourselves to consider that urge a choice-alert as opposed to "being triggered" like some kind of Manchurian-Candidate scenario.
A while ago I saw one of Russell Brand's videos on YouTube where he mentioned that even after years of being clean and sober, he still feels like getting high every day. But he does not.
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