frustrated1

My 18 year old A Daughter moved out last weekend because, I'm not really sure why. She won't talk with us and explain her feelings. This is really killing me!! I had lunch with her last monday just cuz I wanted to see her. Tuesday I took her to a counseling appt that I thought was to important to miss and all I did was mess up!!! All we did was fight. I miss her so much but everytime we are together I go Nuts to see what is happening to her. Today is such a bad day, all I've done is cry. I go to al anon meetings but I still don't understand what my higher power is thinking. I may see her again tuesday and I'm hoping to be able to respond to her in a more positive way. I't hurts so much, we use to be so close. I'm afraid of her being on her own, not really she is staying with friends, but I'm afraid everyday she is gone makes it that much harder to get sober. I'm afraid what will happen if she comes home, all we'll do is fight. Can't live with her and can't live without her. Any insight into similar situations would be greatly appreciated.
THANKS FOR LETTING ME VENT!!!!!

splendra

((((((frustrated)))))

It sounds like she moved out because you were interfering with her drinking? This could be very good for you and her because you will have the space to get your life on track and to take care of yourself. She will have the space to make her own choices and see how it is to be responsible for herself.

There are others here who have children who use drugs and alcohol. Hopefully they will be along soon to share their experiences.

I would like to reckomend that you go to some alanon meetings and also keep posting here....

Karivan

Hi frustrated. All I can do is share what I'm going through with my son. He lives in Tucson and I live in Colorado so I'm not going through what you are in terms of seeing it every day, although I did when he was younger. Right now he is 26 and doing drugs and drinking. I'm not really sure where he is but my exH said he is living with my ex's maintenance man's brother, who is a druggie. He called me about 3 weeks ago and I said he can't live here and I didn't have any money. But I said I love you.

As much as it hurts, you have to turn it over to God and find some peace for yourself. When you go to Alanon, you will learn how to let go and let God. In many cases, when you interfere in their life and/or recovery, you are making the situation worse. I'm reading Codependent No More by Melody Beattie and also read a pamphlet on detaching that I found very helpful. It's called Detaching with Love and can be found at

http://www.nicholls.edu/hemard/CM%20...ith%20Love.pdf

A good web site is http://www.coping.org/control/detach.htm

Good luck and let us know how it's going.

dax

Foe both your sakes, you need to let her go. Sjhe is old enough to be on her own. You can't do anything about her drinking and it will just cause you frustraion to try. My daughter moved out the day she graduated from high school. Refused to go to college. She did not have a drinking prolem but was a handful. to tell you the truth we were glad she left and moverd in with friends. Really a lot less worfry when you don't know what they are doing. She can and went twice more. Got a good job, moved up in the copmpany. Got a 2 year deogree she paid for herself. She is now married to a great guy and has 5 week old baby. we get along great now. dax