Soma19

Hey everyone,

I'm 75 days sober today but am finding myself EXTRORDINARILY emotional. This is surprising (and scary) because until two days ago, I was fine; I wasn't crazy high on optimism, or dismally low but now I am, and it changes in an instant! I'm not sure if there's more at play here: I have a great new career in a medium sized office bustling with genuinely kind and friendly people, a two year old dog that adores me and a girlfriend that supports me to no end (she even knows things about my health on a deeper level because she's a nurse practitioner). Money's good and there's no reason to really be stressed about a lot of really big life stressors. I pretty much feel like I could cry at ANY second. I'm constantly swallowing that lump in my throat! I try as much as I can: long walks, cooking, got back into playing the guitar a lot, even found a group of fellow metal heads to jam with that are all sober. I'm trying to find something to volunteer with........yet I STILL feel terribly lonely..... I just don't know what to do, and I'm getting frustrated. I've even brought this to my counsellor and he's quickly running out of suggestions.

Sorry for babbling on and on. I'm just at the end of my rope. To make matters worse, my normally restful sleeps are turning into exhausting, sleepless exercises in paranoia!! I'm really anxious that this is very soon going to take a big toll on myself. Any help or bits of wisdom would be amazing friends. I'd even feel better if someone read this and felt less alone themselves for going through similar feelings.

Thanks everyone!

PhoenixJ

Your emotions are waking up. They will be labile as they exert themselves- at random. Remember HALTS and to keep recovery plan stuff in play.
Support to you.

Soma19

Thanks Phoenix, had to look that up. That really makes sense! Thanks for the advice!

Zebra1275

I think it's pretty normal to become more emotional after years of drinking to numb your emotions.

As a guy who probably didn't cry for a couple of decades I found myself tearing up at stuff like Hallmark commercials, and hoping my wife didn't notice.

Anna

Yes, I agree with both comments. I numbed myself with alcohol and life without alcohol in the system is quite different. The emotions are just new to you, but you can get used to them and manage them. This is a good thing!

Maudcat

Emotions are good, if a tad scary at times. When we drink, we numb everything. For many, that was why we drank.
You're good. Let it happen. Any thoughts why? Something coming to the surface?
Peace.

Bobrap1971

Hey,

It's pretty normal to go through these emotions. Like, I for example went into binges of cleaning up. I needed spotless areas. Took long walks just looking and soaking up people walking about me. There were times I just gaped at nothingness. Walking past a bar or anyplace where people laughed made me depressed and alone. I was confused and went through these highs and lows. I was scared of work at times. Scared of interviews. Had sleepless nights.

It all starts to go away one day at a time

Keep smiling as it always gets better in recovery. My worst days in recovery are nothing compared to the best days of my drinking into blackouts and other nonsense.

D122y

Soma,

That described me as well.

I was freaking out at 80 days. I also dealt w spatial disorientation.

That was my hell.

All that is mostly gone. Now I have my analytical mind remembering the hell.

My AV is present, but it weighs little on the outcome.

The hell I endured is branded into my mind.

Never drinking again.

Thanks.

Fly N Buy

Emotional sobriety takes a lot longer than physical sobriety but it did come. Alcoholism stunts our maturaton process - some say we stay stuck at the age we were when we started drinking.

I stayed 13 for about 40 years....

CreativeThinker

Maybe you need to cry...just let it all out! Jus' say'in

I've been feeling that lump in my throat too. Today, as I was on a long walk...tears welled up in my eyes and the lump was piercing my throat. I just let is all out...it was a great release.

MythOfSisyphus

I agree, Soma- it's pretty normal. Things will settle down a bit once you get your 'sober legs' under you a bit.

kellyrally

Hey, have you considered doing some meditation? Mindfulness is a good option and there are heaps of free guided meditations online if you take the time yo have a look. A daily practice can be a great support of wellbeing overall. Keep going x

Soberwolf

Early recovery is commonly referred to as an emotional rollercoaster as during this time our bodies are repairing & healing the damage we done to ourselves with drink

We're not immortal and drinking takes a huge toll on our minds bodies and souls

Great news on day 75