HappyDestiny3

Next year I'm going to be better than I am now, but today I'm the best I can be.

It is quite possible to waste a lot of time and energy trying to make impossible changes. Many of us, inspired by the dynamics of the program and driven more by enthusiasm than prudence, strike out on missions that cannot be accomplished - missions we cannot win and should never undertake.

Turning back the clock is one of these. It can't be done. Controlling someone else's behavior is another. We can set the stage for the desired behavior, encourage it, and improve the odds by getting out of the way, but we don't have it in our bag of tricks to make people think, feel, or do any one thing.

The program addresses the art of the possible. The only options we have are the options that are available to us. If our former partners don't want to reconcile with us, that's not an available option. A happily-ever-after marriage is not possible if we haven't yet learned how to have a healthy relationship. Instead, we can focus on acquiring these people skills by building to our own possibilities.

Dee74

A great post sharing what works for you HappyDestiny - thank you

D

HappyDestiny3

What a beautiful day. Spent working with others and visiting my mother.

PurpleKnight

Sounds like a great day HappyDestiny!!

saoutchik

Good post HD3. I see a lot of posts from people who have quit (for example) alcohol and are planning on quitting smoking, meat, carbohydrates and undertaking to visit the gym several times a week. I think it better to just do the one really hard thing, quitting the drink or doc, and let the rest follow.

Hevyn

I love it, HD - every word is true. I almost lost my mind trying to fix everything at once. Thanks for an insightful post.

Anna

Some days I say the Serenity Prayer a hundred times.

bluedog97

I can relate to this. I focus an abundance of energy on things I can't change - such as the past and other people (both of which you mentioned). It drives me nuts. I have gotten drunk countless times over things outside my control.

Of course, I know exactly the way things should be and the way people should behave (I actually believe I do, but the hilarity of that when I reread it screams ego, self-righteousness, and pride).

Learning this lesson when sobering up is a bitter pill to swallow, but accepting things aren't going to go my way (even some days at all) has been a key to my staying sober for the past 41 days. Frustrated, no doubt. But sober.

HappyDestiny3

41 days !!! Congrats on your time. bluedog97

Acceptance is the key to a peaceful ride in sobriety... Keep it up!!!

bluedog97

Thank you HD.

That's what they tell me about acceptance. I struggle with it because I'm hardheaded.

BruceSA

Great post, thank you.

A practical way of stating the Serenity Prayer.

Going to print this out and keep it in my "Gem File".

Thank you!

Bruce.