UnixBer

Hi all.
I've been on a streak for maybe a week or so... skipped days at work, boss is not happy but I've felt seriously ill due to doing this.

Just now I spent 40 days sober or so, completely and I was liking it until I just felt like 'spinning the wheel'. And here at the races there are no good rewards. I have to get off alcohol, since I strongly feel that it does not help my issues in any ways.. it only clouds those issues from me so I'm extremely confused as to what issues exist.

I was engaged to a great woman 8 months ago and we're still together. The thing is she likes to drink and we've agreed it's cool to decide one's own path in life and so... I still feel at a loss when I drink. I'm nothing like my real self and everything just seems so far away and confusing.

Thanks for reading. Have a great sober day... I'll start my sobriety today, after my remaining beers.
- unix

Ariesagain

How about now?

Those remaining beers aren't going to do you any good at all, you know that, yes? They're just going to make everything worse.

Dump them. Your life is waiting.

UnixBer

I know what you mean but I'm going to do them anyway. Thanks.

Ariesagain

Why?

Anna

Unix, Welcome back!

It makes no sense at all to drink those remaining beers. Do you want to stop drinking and live a sober life? It takes strong motivation and commitment.

Gottalife

Because he can't not drink them. We call it the phenomenon of craving. Drinking to overcome a craving that is beyond our mental capacity to control.

SnazzyDresser

The 40 days you did before shows you know how to do it. Build on that, keep putting those sober days together. SR is with you, brother.

doggonecarl

That, in part, might explain your struggles to get sober.

UnixBer

Thanks. SnazzyDresser: the 40 days were good, actually... I got into fitness and got results with it pretty fast. on the last 10 or so days something was different however.

I know nobody wants to critisize my woman here because people don't want to talk about relationship issues but in my case, go right ahead... I'm all ears when it comes to experiences with drinking wives or husbands, in my case she is just about a 'wife'... A great person but when I got sober I somehow noticed more detail in her and started thinking that maybe I need to change relationships... Why? She loves to drink and one day told me, when she knew I'd been about 30 days sober (which she would never have believed since she'd seen and known me drinking daily for 8 month+), and so she actually said: "I'm just waiting for you to drink... I couldn't live with a man, in a relationship where He doesn't drink."... That rung up pretty bad in my ear especially since my intention was actually to stop drinking altogether. Sometimes you just need to cut your way through obstacles in life and choose your own path. I hope my 'wife' isn't being one...

Gottalife

In my late twenties I was going out with this beautiful girl, a real stunner. Then she stunned me one day by saying she could never marry (a sober) alcoholic. She never married anyone as it turned out, she is coming up to 60 and very lonely.

Anna

I have no intention of criticizing your wife. Many people here stop drinking while their SO continues to drink. But, you clearly have to make a decision.

UnixBer

Yes... I've been through a lot of pain due to drinking and drugs, as most here. I just don't want my girl to make the wrong choises, she's been through so much hell already just I wish only to show something.

I'm not having any fun drunk like at some other times... may be emotional but anyways... Thanks for the input!

ScottFromWI

It seems that your last several appearances here have been basically drunk rants or drinking logs Unix. What do you think will need to change in order to get you to stop? As anna mentions, whether your wife drinks or not, or whether she "wants" you to drink or not is mostly irrelevant. Only you can make the decision to quit. Will it be harder around someone who drinks? Yes. But definitely not impossible.

What exactly is it you are seeking today?

crazychef

Cool thing about life is its your decision. Nobody can tell you what you feel or don't feel. I'm hopelessly single!!! Not always a bad thing. Kind of like my drinking, no commitments. But if you find a cool girl, grab her and hope for the best.

MIRecovery

If and when you stop drinking what is your plan to stay stopped and start recovery?

I stopped drinking more times than I can count. Staying stopped took a completely different approach

UnixBer

crazychef: we met at an underground party one night, we were both seriously drunk and the relationship just happened. It started out as a sex-relationship but then we had feelings... And a '****-load' of emotional baggage of many people came along, so much drama in so little time. Some people get around.

We've almost disbanded the relationship many many times for many strange reasons. If anyone knew us, they'd know we'd be like a crazy couple. None like a standard and normal relationship...

I know all of you mean good and I do intend to put down the drink, just when I run out of it, during this day. And that is just what I will do. Thanks.

BixBees505

Get sober again and speak frankly with your lady of your intent that sober is permanent.

Love will want the best for you and will support your decision, even if she does choose her own path, for herself.

UnixBer

And ScottFromWi I remember you but you said things in the way that my intelligence quota isn't fit for rational or analytical thinking.

ScottFromWI

Addiction isn't rational. And it has nothing to do with intelligence either. Granted, if you are drunk right now you won't be thinking as clearly as you should, but getting sober has no relation to IQ. It starts with getting rid of the alcohol and seeking help. You are in the right place for the latter, but you've got to take action on the former. How about an AA meeting or calling your doctor?

Nowsthetime

Hi Unix:

I hear AV and excuses and blame...

This is up to you! Not what others do.

We are here to support you and we know that you can do this.

Have you tried any of the things we have learned here?