Blackout
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 21
Blackout
A major reason I stopped drinking (day 5) is because 1) I use alcohol to deal with feelings 2) I blacked out on nye, and while I didn't do anything bad, I I'd things that I have no memory of whatsoever.
And I don't know if I'm just trying to rationalize it, but is it really that unusual to blackout? Am I overreacting thinking that I have to totally quit.
And I don't know if I'm just trying to rationalize it, but is it really that unusual to blackout? Am I overreacting thinking that I have to totally quit.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi beingsober 
I think blacking out is definitely not 'normal' altho drinkers like you and I might think it is because most of our friends tend to drink like we do.
It;s a really scary thing to have happen. I think the worst thing you could do would be to get used to it .
I'm glad you're here seeking change
D
I think blacking out is definitely not 'normal' altho drinkers like you and I might think it is because most of our friends tend to drink like we do.
It;s a really scary thing to have happen. I think the worst thing you could do would be to get used to it .
I'm glad you're here seeking change
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 409
I have had one to many blackouts. It is not a good thing. Something bad could really happen. I had my last blackout in July and I knew if I didn't quit drinking it would happen again in due time. I have had the same questions you have. Could I just have been over reacting? My answer was no. If you are drinking and blacking out that is not healthy or normal. My advice would be to not drink anymore. Then you don't have to worry about if your over reacting. You will just be!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
Blacking out is a big red flag for us as it means we're at a bad stage of alcoholism. 
And being active while in a blackout means we don't know what the hell we're doing, and could do something really bad.
I've known people who woke up in jail cells after drunk driving accidents. One of them woke up to be told he had killed someone while driving drunk.
Yes, it's better to quit drinking entirely so blackouts never happen again.
And being active while in a blackout means we don't know what the hell we're doing, and could do something really bad.I've known people who woke up in jail cells after drunk driving accidents. One of them woke up to be told he had killed someone while driving drunk.
Yes, it's better to quit drinking entirely so blackouts never happen again.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 985
Blackouts are why I'm in recovery.
To lose the awareness of what is happening & what you are doing is terrifying.
I read somewhere that many many folks in prison for murder & other violent crimes have zero recollection of the crime itself! Ditto for fatal DUIS! Ditto for being the victim of sexual assault.
I want to make my own choices & control my own behavior. I want to be awake to my life.
Not everyone gets blackouts - we all have unique chemistries. I was not one to experience horrible hangovers. Sometimes I went into blackout without really drinking as much as I could typically deal with. It was utterly unpredictable.
When I returned to AA, here in New Orleans, a woman came up to me & hugged me. She started chatting about a shared experience we had at a festival here. I had no idea who she was, had never met her in my life. After a very awkward conversation she looked intently at me & said "you don't know me do you? You were in a blackout...?" I started to cry.
Walking, talking, dancing, driving - but not there. Terrifying.
To lose the awareness of what is happening & what you are doing is terrifying.
I read somewhere that many many folks in prison for murder & other violent crimes have zero recollection of the crime itself! Ditto for fatal DUIS! Ditto for being the victim of sexual assault.
I want to make my own choices & control my own behavior. I want to be awake to my life.
Not everyone gets blackouts - we all have unique chemistries. I was not one to experience horrible hangovers. Sometimes I went into blackout without really drinking as much as I could typically deal with. It was utterly unpredictable.
When I returned to AA, here in New Orleans, a woman came up to me & hugged me. She started chatting about a shared experience we had at a festival here. I had no idea who she was, had never met her in my life. After a very awkward conversation she looked intently at me & said "you don't know me do you? You were in a blackout...?" I started to cry.
Walking, talking, dancing, driving - but not there. Terrifying.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 21
Yeah it is really scary. And I'm thankful I had someone with me that I trust. It was only the second time in my life that I blacked out. He first time was years ago. And I have drank more than what I drank on nye.
I guess the worst part for me is even if I don't blackout, I think through every single interaction I had, every text message (I get wayyyyyyy chatty), I have to try and. Gauge if anyone is upset with me. WhenI am actually drinking, I have to try to not appear drunk. I sneak extra drinks when I can get away with it. I have to brush my teeth even more so I won't taste like alcohol. So much pretending.
I guess the worst part for me is even if I don't blackout, I think through every single interaction I had, every text message (I get wayyyyyyy chatty), I have to try and. Gauge if anyone is upset with me. WhenI am actually drinking, I have to try to not appear drunk. I sneak extra drinks when I can get away with it. I have to brush my teeth even more so I won't taste like alcohol. So much pretending.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,061
Well done on 5 days!
When I was young and not so young I use to get blackout drunk regularly, couldn't remember a thing and horrible stuff happened that I had no recollection of until so called friends told me or more taunted me about it the next day.
Now I still haven't managed to stop drinking but only drink in the safety of my own home, still desperately want to stop and I know if I was to go out into a "party atmosphere" I wouldn't know when to stop. At home I just fall asleep.
Moral of this is I wish when I was young I realised I had a problem and that not remembering anything the next day wasn't normal!
Beingsober hope you stay Sober.
When I was young and not so young I use to get blackout drunk regularly, couldn't remember a thing and horrible stuff happened that I had no recollection of until so called friends told me or more taunted me about it the next day.
Now I still haven't managed to stop drinking but only drink in the safety of my own home, still desperately want to stop and I know if I was to go out into a "party atmosphere" I wouldn't know when to stop. At home I just fall asleep.
Moral of this is I wish when I was young I realised I had a problem and that not remembering anything the next day wasn't normal!
Beingsober hope you stay Sober.
Last edited by Kaily; 01-21-2017 at 05:47 PM. Reason: spelling
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
My last blackout was March 16, 2014 and it was dangerous. They are definitely one of the main reasons I quit.
Have you researched AVRT? Your AV is planting doubt.
You are not overreacting.
Have you heard of a plan? It has really helped me.
Have you researched AVRT? Your AV is planting doubt.
You are not overreacting.
Have you heard of a plan? It has really helped me.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,597
Originally Posted by least 
Blacking out is a big red flag for us as it means we're at a bad stage of alcoholism. And being active while in a blackout means we don't know what the hell we're doing, and could do something really bad.
I've known people who woke up in jail cells after drunk driving accidents. One of them woke up to be told he had killed someone while driving drunk.
Yes, it's better to quit drinking entirely so blackouts never happen again.
And being active while in a blackout means we don't know what the hell we're doing, and could do something really bad.I've known people who woke up in jail cells after drunk driving accidents. One of them woke up to be told he had killed someone while driving drunk.
Yes, it's better to quit drinking entirely so blackouts never happen again.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
I had one blackout, at a late stage of my drinking. To this day, I don't know if something was slipped in my drink or if thanks to my drinking I have absolutely NO memory of getting home from a bar, going absolutely nuts at my then boyfriend, but still being coherent apparently, and getting undressed and getting into bed.
NO memory. Wiped COMPLETELY from my mind, no matter how much I try to recall it.
My rationalisation was that maybe I was slipped a mickey at that bar.
Or maybe I wasn't and it was just that my mind and body had had enough of the booze. I don't need to find out. Blacking out is not normal.
NO memory. Wiped COMPLETELY from my mind, no matter how much I try to recall it.
My rationalisation was that maybe I was slipped a mickey at that bar.
Or maybe I wasn't and it was just that my mind and body had had enough of the booze. I don't need to find out. Blacking out is not normal.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 985
Ps. For folks that haven't experienced blackouts, it is not "passing out." You are still moving, talking, interacting, buying plane tickets to Argentina...but the next day you have zero memory of any of it. Not even flashes. Your brain is wiped clean.
Brown-outs are when you have periods in a night that you cannot remember. You remember this part, but then there's a vague gap, then a memory.
I know some very heavy drinkers who have never had one. For whatever reason, for me, they increased in frequency. I am grateful beyond measure that I did nothing that would have changed my life forever.
Even if this is your first one. Stop drinking now! They'll keep coming!
Brown-outs are when you have periods in a night that you cannot remember. You remember this part, but then there's a vague gap, then a memory.
I know some very heavy drinkers who have never had one. For whatever reason, for me, they increased in frequency. I am grateful beyond measure that I did nothing that would have changed my life forever.
Even if this is your first one. Stop drinking now! They'll keep coming!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Glad to meet you beingsober! Blackouts are a major reason why I quit also. I was having them frequently. I'd have whole conversations & appear coherent to the other person - but I'd have no memory of what was said. I'd become argumentative & emotional, upsetting everyone - and for no reason. I could never trust myself once it was in my system. It had to go.
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 847
Originally Posted by Beingsober
A plan?
In short, you are trying to drink while minimizing the penalties for doing so, even though you strongly suspect that it is a really bad idea for you to drink in the first place. This is the exact same plan that every single other addicted person on planet Earth has.
You can either keep drinking, and hope that nothing bad happens to you, or you can change the plan, now that you know a little bit more.
What is your plan for your future use of alcohol?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,514
Originally Posted by least
Blacking out is a big red flag for us as it means we're at a bad stage of alcoholism. And being active while in a blackout means we don't know what the hell we're doing, and could do something really bad.
I've known people who woke up in jail cells after drunk driving accidents. One of them woke up to be told he had killed someone while driving drunk.
Yes, it's better to quit drinking entirely so blackouts never happen again.
And being active while in a blackout means we don't know what the hell we're doing, and could do something really bad.I've known people who woke up in jail cells after drunk driving accidents. One of them woke up to be told he had killed someone while driving drunk.
Yes, it's better to quit drinking entirely so blackouts never happen again.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,937
I not even going to mention the blackouts.
1) I use alcohol to deal with feelings
That, is a problem.
Alcoholism is progressive. If you use alcohol to smooth out the edges of life, eventually you may find yourself drinking all the time.
Numbing yourself to get through life is not a way to live.
1) I use alcohol to deal with feelings
That, is a problem.
Alcoholism is progressive. If you use alcohol to smooth out the edges of life, eventually you may find yourself drinking all the time.
Numbing yourself to get through life is not a way to live.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 985
"Making a plan" means doing the work of figuring out how to move away from alcohol decisively.
Just sort of thinking you probably shouldn't drink didn't work for any of us...
Bargaining & wheeling & dealing & only drinking on Thursdays or special holidays or with your best friend present to keep you safe didn't work for any of us...
We had to decide to quit absolutely. That process - with its joys, triumphs, & challenges - is exactly what brought us all here. And together.
There are many approaches, but there's only one decision. We are here to support in any way we can. Because we needed support too...
And still all do.
Just sort of thinking you probably shouldn't drink didn't work for any of us...
Bargaining & wheeling & dealing & only drinking on Thursdays or special holidays or with your best friend present to keep you safe didn't work for any of us...
We had to decide to quit absolutely. That process - with its joys, triumphs, & challenges - is exactly what brought us all here. And together.
There are many approaches, but there's only one decision. We are here to support in any way we can. Because we needed support too...
And still all do.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Queensland
Posts: 568
I blacked out too many times. Couldn't even guess how many times. LOADS. It became more frequent for me as well. I never use to black out for years and years, then BAM, it happened. And then again months later, then again a year later. Last year I was blacking out at least once a week.
Alcoholism is progressive. If someone had told me after my first or second black out what I could expect if I kept drinking (like the peeps on this site are doing now) I would have stopped then and saved myself a decade of torment and misery.
Food for thought hun. It sounds like you are in an early-ish stage. My suggestion would be to nip it in the bud now
Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery
Alcoholism is progressive. If someone had told me after my first or second black out what I could expect if I kept drinking (like the peeps on this site are doing now) I would have stopped then and saved myself a decade of torment and misery.
Food for thought hun. It sounds like you are in an early-ish stage. My suggestion would be to nip it in the bud now
Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,597
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: North East
Posts: 621
I was having blackouts every night for years I never left the house at night while drinking I never would drink and drive. I was having conversation with family and friends and don't remember.....cooking dinner and don't remember.......i started falling alot while drinking and even when I wasn't drinking and getting seriously hurt .....broken ribs......pulled ligaments....foot contusion......never went to the hospital or a doctor.....too ashamed.
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