Had 15 days sober and blew it last night
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 83
Had 15 days sober and blew it last night
Hello...I found this site in 2014 when I had previously quit drinking. I was 18 months without drinking...and I started again about 18 months ago...15 days ago I decided I needed to quit again(sigh) and last night I went out for dinner with my sister and ordered a glass of wine just like it was nothing. Of course I never had just one glass. One became 3 and then we went to a pub and other drinks followed and shooters....I don't remember getting home...I'm so disappointed in myself...When will I ever learn???
I need support/help. I tried AA..,not for me...every time I start again I always tell myself I can keep it under control. Just have a few...And every time I prove myself wrong!!!
I started again 18 months ago cuz I felt left out....we were camping. My family knew it would only be a matter of time b4 it all started to unravel again....will I ever be able to stop this viscious cycle????
I need support/help. I tried AA..,not for me...every time I start again I always tell myself I can keep it under control. Just have a few...And every time I prove myself wrong!!!
I started again 18 months ago cuz I felt left out....we were camping. My family knew it would only be a matter of time b4 it all started to unravel again....will I ever be able to stop this viscious cycle????
Recovering
Join Date: May 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,361
Yes, definitely we can escape. I sympathise - I had 4 years sober and then thought a couple of beers would be a good idea. That lead to the best part of a year of the wagon. It was a painful and humbling lesson. But we can choose sobriety. Don't lose faith and hope. Hop back on the wagon with us - you're just as welcome now as before.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Boston Ma
Posts: 980
Hope, yes, it is some of that but for me it involved making real plans. Short and long term plans based on my convictions that I couldn't argue about anymore. My health was failing. My hands reached for my money to buy wine, NO LONGER. It does really feel good to wake up not hung over, every single day.
Living the life
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,211
Originally Posted by Hopeforme2014 
Is it simply (not easily) a matter of picking myself up dusting myself off and carrying on forward??? To do the best I can with each new day???
As long as I thought I could have a drink *some day* I kept falling off the wagon. Once I dragged myself kicking and screaming to the place where I realized I can't drink at all anymore it all became so much easier. I was no longer obsessed with when I could have that drink. Life is so much better.
Welcome back!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 2,393
This...conviction I can't argue about anymore...all this:
Thx, mklove.
Best wishes and solidarity to you, hopeforme.
Originally Posted by Mklove
Hope, yes, it is some of that but for me it involved making real plans. Short and long term plans based on my convictions that I couldn't argue about anymore. My health was failing. My hands reached for my money to buy wine, NO LONGER. It does really feel good to wake up not hung over, every single day.
Best wishes and solidarity to you, hopeforme.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
18 months sober is fairly significant....you were doing something right! except perhaps for the thought that you could one day drink again and get away with it.
most of us have found we need a PLAN for sobriety.
think of it as deciding to climb Everest. you don't just hop a plan for Nepal and hope for the best. it takes planning and more planning. getting yourself ready physical......and mentally. prepping all the gear you will need to assemble in order to make a SUCCESSFUL ascent. according to one "expert" if you start as your basic couch potato, you'll need 5-10 YEARS to be ready. if your finances and other responsibilities allow for you to train full time, in lieu of other endeavors like work and family, you might be able to cut that in half.
it may take 2-3 attempts to reach the summit, there is no guarantee of course. and with each failed attempt, add another year of training and prep. and there are gong to be times when you ask yourself, what the hell am i doing? what is the point?
to me sobriety/recovery is just like that. you pick a goal and you work hard EVERY day to get closer to that goal. and some days you forget WHY, and you want to quit.....but remember, the goal is always out there. waiting. achievable.
AA sums it up nicely - if you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it - then you are ready to take certain steps.
most of us have found we need a PLAN for sobriety.
think of it as deciding to climb Everest. you don't just hop a plan for Nepal and hope for the best. it takes planning and more planning. getting yourself ready physical......and mentally. prepping all the gear you will need to assemble in order to make a SUCCESSFUL ascent. according to one "expert" if you start as your basic couch potato, you'll need 5-10 YEARS to be ready. if your finances and other responsibilities allow for you to train full time, in lieu of other endeavors like work and family, you might be able to cut that in half.
it may take 2-3 attempts to reach the summit, there is no guarantee of course. and with each failed attempt, add another year of training and prep. and there are gong to be times when you ask yourself, what the hell am i doing? what is the point?
to me sobriety/recovery is just like that. you pick a goal and you work hard EVERY day to get closer to that goal. and some days you forget WHY, and you want to quit.....but remember, the goal is always out there. waiting. achievable.
AA sums it up nicely - if you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it - then you are ready to take certain steps.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,239
Hi Hopeforme, I think that as you have successfully reached 18 months before you need something to help get you to that 3 momth or so point where it begins to get easier.
Dee74 will often mention plans - I would add to those plans some distractions, something you can go to whenever you need to in early recovery that requires your full attention. This way you don't have to battle the cravings. I found video/electronic games really good for this along with things like Sudoku. There are probably more constructive things than computer games but since it is so important that people like us succeed in stopping drinking then the most important thing is that it works
Dee74 will often mention plans - I would add to those plans some distractions, something you can go to whenever you need to in early recovery that requires your full attention. This way you don't have to battle the cravings. I found video/electronic games really good for this along with things like Sudoku. There are probably more constructive things than computer games but since it is so important that people like us succeed in stopping drinking then the most important thing is that it works
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
My family knew it would only be a matter of time b4 it all started to unravel again.
Six years sober and i never want to drink again is my narative , sure life deals a rubbish hand once in a while , sometimes it sucks , mostly it's far better tho ..
get back to it , change the narrative ,
Bestwishes, m
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Delhi, India
Posts: 25
[...will I ever be able to stop this viscious cycle????[/QUOTE]
I certainly hope you can. I am dealing with a similar thing with my addiction. I have fallen off the wagon many times. And it does feel like a vicious cycle. I hope you will be able to do this this time. Start over. I am on my Day 2 again hope to keep positive and keep at it.
Good luck. I believe we can all do it.
I certainly hope you can. I am dealing with a similar thing with my addiction. I have fallen off the wagon many times. And it does feel like a vicious cycle. I hope you will be able to do this this time. Start over. I am on my Day 2 again hope to keep positive and keep at it.
Good luck. I believe we can all do it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Boston Ma
Posts: 980
Originally Posted by Dee74
Hi Hopeforme2014 
If AA's not for you , whats the plan? another group like SMART Recovery, or Lifering?
D
If AA's not for you , whats the plan? another group like SMART Recovery, or Lifering?
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 83
I don't have a plan...this is what I need...what do short term and long term plans look like? I have been reading a lot. And I like the SMART info I have been reading. I think maybe I need to find a therapist who deals in addiction but have no idea where to find one. I guess I am just trying to abstain by myself. But I do need to get it thru my stubborn thick headed brain that I cannot drink socially/occasionally. I almost always drink too much and have blackouts. And do stupid stuff.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,056
Living the life
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,211
Originally Posted by Hopeforme2014
I don't have a plan...this is what I need...what do short term and long term plans look like? I have been reading a lot. And I like the SMART info I have been reading. I think maybe I need to find a therapist who deals in addiction but have no idea where to find one. I guess I am just trying to abstain by myself. But I do need to get it thru my stubborn thick headed brain that I cannot drink socially/occasionally. I almost always drink too much and have blackouts. And do stupid stuff.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
