Hot gossip weekender 20-22 jan
saoutchik
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,204
Hot gossip weekender 20-22 jan
Recently I have had a couple of conversations related to sobriety and social media. Recently I received an off colour email which I daw had been sent to me between midnight and 1am. As a former drunk myself I recognised straight away that alcohol was involved and chose to ignore it but it transpired that I was not the only one to recieve a drunken message.
It transpired that he author of this message not only had to deal with several recipients but was mortified to discover that he was the subject of much speculation about his drinking and other habits, among his co workers and his cirle of friends.
I am 56 years old, I did not come of age in a social media environment but none the less I did use it but was forced to stop around about 2012 because drunken texts, drunken Facebook posts and drunken tweets gave the game away about how I was spending my free time. My daughters are in their mid 20s and to a degree their lives revolve around social media and I use it extensively in relation to my job. Given that SR forms a part of the social media world as a special interest group it is safe to say that we all use it.
It remains to be seen what will happen to the sender of the "off colour" emails but it is unlikely to be positive. It strikes me as a 21st Century form of public humiliation. I have also read about people drunkenly ordering expensive consumer goods they can't afford and I expect we have all heard about people, including politicians, who have sent photos of certain body parts.
This weekend if we don't drink or drug ouselves we will remove the threat of shame and humiliation via the printed word. Gossip is an unedifying pastime but lets make sure that at least we are not the subject of it. A simple "in" is all it takes, that and a desire not to drink or use drugs so join in and enjoy a humiliation free weekend
It transpired that he author of this message not only had to deal with several recipients but was mortified to discover that he was the subject of much speculation about his drinking and other habits, among his co workers and his cirle of friends.
I am 56 years old, I did not come of age in a social media environment but none the less I did use it but was forced to stop around about 2012 because drunken texts, drunken Facebook posts and drunken tweets gave the game away about how I was spending my free time. My daughters are in their mid 20s and to a degree their lives revolve around social media and I use it extensively in relation to my job. Given that SR forms a part of the social media world as a special interest group it is safe to say that we all use it.
It remains to be seen what will happen to the sender of the "off colour" emails but it is unlikely to be positive. It strikes me as a 21st Century form of public humiliation. I have also read about people drunkenly ordering expensive consumer goods they can't afford and I expect we have all heard about people, including politicians, who have sent photos of certain body parts.
This weekend if we don't drink or drug ouselves we will remove the threat of shame and humiliation via the printed word. Gossip is an unedifying pastime but lets make sure that at least we are not the subject of it. A simple "in" is all it takes, that and a desire not to drink or use drugs so join in and enjoy a humiliation free weekend
saoutchik
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,204
Originally Posted by Done4today 
Thought I was gonna hear some juicy gossip. I am in for not being the subject of humiliation. I hope I don't hear about anyone else for that matter. Have a wonderful sober weekend SR!
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,809
I'm in! I didn't make too many social media gaffes when I was drinking. I usually had the sense to put the darn phone and iPad down. But there was always that danger. I live in a small town and did most of my misbehaving out in public - word spreads fast here, so I didn't need social media to make a complete fool of myself. There was always lots of gossip, much of it incorrect. The humiliation was intense. It's been over two years since I did anything dumb while drinking, but the shame is still there when I see certain people or go to certain places. I try to hold my head high, though, knowing I'm doing the right things now. Memories will fade for most people who liked to gossip about me, I hope. If not, the only thing I can do is keep sober and not add fuel to the fire.
EnjoyingTheJourney
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 3,847
Thanks Sao & I'm ALL in!
I thank God each day for good decisions made with a clear head. Sometimes the shame catches up but when it does, I let it wash over me and remind myself it's in the past and what's done is done. I have a better today. We all have a better today.
I stopped posting on FB in 2016 although I do check in occasionally for birthdays & funny animal videos. My loved ones and good friends are all available via phone & messaging and everything else is superfluous. Plus all that time spent on FB is now spent on SR for my recovery -
I thank God each day for good decisions made with a clear head. Sometimes the shame catches up but when it does, I let it wash over me and remind myself it's in the past and what's done is done. I have a better today. We all have a better today.
I stopped posting on FB in 2016 although I do check in occasionally for birthdays & funny animal videos. My loved ones and good friends are all available via phone & messaging and everything else is superfluous. Plus all that time spent on FB is now spent on SR for my recovery -
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Terrific opener, Sao. Very insightful and offers a good opportunity to reflect on what sobriety offers us in this technological age.
Somehow, I avoided being a texter until after sobriety and, like MLD, somehow had the sense to avoid FB when drunk. Good thing. But I know there were phone calls I regret. That's enough, trust me.
It got better. Living in the solution.
Somehow, I avoided being a texter until after sobriety and, like MLD, somehow had the sense to avoid FB when drunk. Good thing. But I know there were phone calls I regret. That's enough, trust me.
It got better. Living in the solution.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Virginia
Posts: 193
I'm in! I SOOOO know the shame of the drunken text, post, call, etc......ugh!!! I tried FB for a short period of time because of a work thing.....never posted anything publically shameful, but the private messages....so ridiculous......oh and the texts were the worst. I still get the chills when I think of the humiliation.
MLD51, keep your head high. Let him without sin cast the first stone. You don't deserve to feel ashamed or judged in any way....there are too many places I feel shame going to....there's one place I need to revisit from just last weekend, just to get over it and move on!! The thing to remember is....people are more worried about themselves than anyone else....even if they have a judging thought about one of us, it's only to distract them from the things they feel shame about. It's not up to us to put sins in a list of bad to worse....a sin is a sin is a sin....and I mean sin broadly...anything that causes regret. Who's to say our drunken mistakes are any worse than the one's made by sober suzie down the street?? They're not....so smile and shine on. Be proud of what you've overcome!!
MLD51, keep your head high. Let him without sin cast the first stone. You don't deserve to feel ashamed or judged in any way....there are too many places I feel shame going to....there's one place I need to revisit from just last weekend, just to get over it and move on!! The thing to remember is....people are more worried about themselves than anyone else....even if they have a judging thought about one of us, it's only to distract them from the things they feel shame about. It's not up to us to put sins in a list of bad to worse....a sin is a sin is a sin....and I mean sin broadly...anything that causes regret. Who's to say our drunken mistakes are any worse than the one's made by sober suzie down the street?? They're not....so smile and shine on. Be proud of what you've overcome!!
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