That was easier than I thought
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Anywhere USA
Posts: 2,100
That was easier than I thought
I first came to SR as Tazzle in the class of December, 2012, and while I was serious in wanting to get sober, the one thing I wouldn't/couldn't do was to tell anyone that I was no longer drinking. At first I would make up an excuse, that I was on Antibiotics or trying to lose weight, or whatever I could come up with at the time. I am not sure if I was afraid of what they would think of me (like it matters) or what at the time. As time went on, I slowly started the process again, one "social" glass of wine, led to the slippery slope that brings me back to the Class of November 2016. Anyway I know now that my fear was really the AV keeping me from holding myself accountable, well to myself, not speaking up gave me the "out" for future drinking. "Nobody knows you stopped drinking, so go ahead, its all good, buy that bottle"
This time around, its a different feeling for me, I told my BFF and her husband that I was no longer drinking and I was just talking to a good friend and co-worker that I used to meet at the bar for lunch and drinks, that I have stopped. She kind of looked at me weird as she is a fairly big drinker, now I didn't offer up that I have issues with drinking, just flat out told her that I stopped, no reasons or excuses. She also happens to be the first one that I hang with and "used" to drink with, so it was afairly big deal to me, to put it out there like that. I guess I was afraid of being thought of as weak, like something was lacking in me. Now I feel like a weight is off my shoulders, I feel so much stronger and committed to staying sober now. And if she and or my other co-workers decide to get together without me,( even though I just ended the designated driver argument,) that's okay and that's on them, Will I be sad or hurt? Probably, but if being together was based on drinking and nothing else, well maybe we are not all as good a friends as we had been when alcohol was involved.
I guess what I am trying to say, is to not be afraid to take that step, do not let the fear of others "judging" you stop you from your goal, from your health, from being sober and living a life that really is precious and not to be wasted on alcohol or drugs.
Badge
45 days
This time around, its a different feeling for me, I told my BFF and her husband that I was no longer drinking and I was just talking to a good friend and co-worker that I used to meet at the bar for lunch and drinks, that I have stopped. She kind of looked at me weird as she is a fairly big drinker, now I didn't offer up that I have issues with drinking, just flat out told her that I stopped, no reasons or excuses. She also happens to be the first one that I hang with and "used" to drink with, so it was afairly big deal to me, to put it out there like that. I guess I was afraid of being thought of as weak, like something was lacking in me. Now I feel like a weight is off my shoulders, I feel so much stronger and committed to staying sober now. And if she and or my other co-workers decide to get together without me,( even though I just ended the designated driver argument,) that's okay and that's on them, Will I be sad or hurt? Probably, but if being together was based on drinking and nothing else, well maybe we are not all as good a friends as we had been when alcohol was involved.
I guess what I am trying to say, is to not be afraid to take that step, do not let the fear of others "judging" you stop you from your goal, from your health, from being sober and living a life that really is precious and not to be wasted on alcohol or drugs.
Badge
45 days
Last edited by badgerden; 12-30-2016 at 05:45 PM. Reason: typo
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 120
Thank you
Originally Posted by badgerden 
I first came to SR as Tazzle in the class of December, 2012, and while I was serious in wanting to get sober, the one thing I wouldn't/couldn't do was to tell anyone that I was no longer drinking. At first I would make up an excuse, that I was on Antibiotics or trying to lose weight, or whatever I could come up with at the time. I am not sure if I was afraid of what they would think of me (like it matters) or what at the time. As time went on, I slowly started the process again, one "social" glass of wine, led to the slippery slope that brings me back to the Class of November 2016. Anyway I know now that my fear was really the AV keeping me from holding myself accountable, well to myself, not speaking up gave me the "out" for future drinking. "Nobody knows you stopped drinking, so go ahead, its all good, buy that bottle"
This time around, its a different feeling for me, I told my BFF and her husband that I was no longer drinking and I was just talking to a good friend and co-worker that I used to meet at the bar for lunch and drinks, that I have stopped. She kind of looked at me weird as she is a fairly big drinker, now I didn't offer up that I have issues with drinking, just flat out told her that I stopped, no reasons or excuses. She also happens to be the first one that I hang with and "used" to drink with, so it was afairly big deal to me, to put it out there like that. I guess I was afraid of being thought of as weak, like something was lacking in me. Now I feel like a weight is off my shoulders, I feel so much stronger and committed to staying sober now. And if she and or my other co-workers decide to get together without me,( even though I just ended the designated driver argument,) that's okay and that's on them, Will I be sad or hurt? Probably, but if being together was based on drinking and nothing else, well maybe we are not all as good a friends as we had been when alcohol was involved.
I guess what I am trying to say, is to not be afraid to take that step, do not let the fear of others "judging" you stop you from your goal, from your health, from being sober and living a life that really is precious and not to be wasted on alcohol or drugs.
Badge
45 days
This time around, its a different feeling for me, I told my BFF and her husband that I was no longer drinking and I was just talking to a good friend and co-worker that I used to meet at the bar for lunch and drinks, that I have stopped. She kind of looked at me weird as she is a fairly big drinker, now I didn't offer up that I have issues with drinking, just flat out told her that I stopped, no reasons or excuses. She also happens to be the first one that I hang with and "used" to drink with, so it was afairly big deal to me, to put it out there like that. I guess I was afraid of being thought of as weak, like something was lacking in me. Now I feel like a weight is off my shoulders, I feel so much stronger and committed to staying sober now. And if she and or my other co-workers decide to get together without me,( even though I just ended the designated driver argument,) that's okay and that's on them, Will I be sad or hurt? Probably, but if being together was based on drinking and nothing else, well maybe we are not all as good a friends as we had been when alcohol was involved.
I guess what I am trying to say, is to not be afraid to take that step, do not let the fear of others "judging" you stop you from your goal, from your health, from being sober and living a life that really is precious and not to be wasted on alcohol or drugs.
Badge
45 days
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
...people I normally drank with
..people who have no idea I had a problem
Don't give the AV any upper hand ,even with verb tense. It's really good practice especially early on to really pay attention to the way You discuss /relate your own alcohol use , as in past use without possibility of future use. The AV is really comfortable with descriptions that use the present or future tense, so **** it off by purposely recognizing the way You speak of your past drinking, and before you know it , it becomes automatic.
And believe it or not, it's fun to **** off the AV
..people who have no idea I had a problem
Don't give the AV any upper hand ,even with verb tense. It's really good practice especially early on to really pay attention to the way You discuss /relate your own alcohol use , as in past use without possibility of future use. The AV is really comfortable with descriptions that use the present or future tense, so **** it off by purposely recognizing the way You speak of your past drinking, and before you know it , it becomes automatic.
And believe it or not, it's fun to **** off the AV
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 21
excellent... I have been trying to figure out why I keep telling friends and coworkers I am on a "break"..just not drinking but will soon .. yet I want to be sober forever. After 4 1/2 months am I internally giving myself an out if I decide to drink in the future?
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