Calicofish

I always feel blue this time of year, even when I was married. I have lived away from my family for years and this time of year is always difficult. This will be 2nd xmas totally alone, but thankfully I have my 2 dogs. This will also be my 2nd sober xmas.

I've logged off facebook and don't plan on logging back in until after New Year's. I just get more and more depressed with all the holiday pictures.

What is my plan? Try and not over eat sweets. I've been on a sugar binge since I quit drinking and it's time to reign that puppy in. Start exercising again. I was doing well last year but went through another bout of depression and just couldn't face the mirror in the gym.

I read through my journal and the never ending thread is running through it is being lonely and displeased with my body. I know I've improved in many areas, and I'm not miserable any more. I used to miserable and lonely (in my marriage). It will be 3 years in Feb. since I left my marriage, moved to a new town and started over. I'm not as far along as I'd hoped I'd be, but the one place where I have had success is in sobriety.

I don't log into the site, but I do read it every day.

I'm hoping I will find a job in the new year and maybe make a special friend (if I can ever get over my body issues).

Stay sober everyone.
CF

Soberwolf

Come & join us in the road to winter thread there's a whole wolfpack working out through winter

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html

Upstairs

I think a lot of us adults get sad around the holidays for a whole slew of reasons. I take cheer in that it could always be worse!

entropy1964

Hey congrats on almost 3 years! That's something to celebrate for sure.

I will be alone Christmas Eve and part of Christmas day. I moved away from my family too, which is actually mostly a good thing. But there are times when I'd just like to visit, you know, for a couple of hours....then leave

I know there are AA meetings to go to....that can help ease some of the loneliness. Movies are a good thing too. Just get those tickets early. Seems everyone sees a movie now on Christmas day. Yes walk those doggies. Binge on Netflix. Cheesy Christmas Movies.

I relate very much to body image problems. I don't have body dysmorphic disorder but man I'm hard on myself. It seems I'm always thinking "If I only lost 10 lbs all would be right in the world". Well, turns out the problem is acceptance. Not the 10 lbs.....it starts on the inside, not being so hard on myself. Fat is just fat, not shame. Thanks for reminding me of that.

Hang in there.

FarToGo

I'm with you Calico, I'm alone for Christmas too. When people ask me what I'm doing, I'm making things up! I think I feel partly ashamed, nobody wants me .... Also really don't want to be the 'charity' invite or have people feel sorry for me.
Shame and pride, not a good combination.
As long as I don't drink, that will have to do for this year.
It's only a day after all (one of the things I keep telling myself)
Xx

thomas11

Hi Calicofish, I see you mentioned you read every day but don't log in. Maybe login and post a little something a couple times a week? At least you will get some feedback and be interacting with folks. This will be my 2nd xmas without my family. I have my spouse, and that's fine. I actually have developed an appreciation for calmness (some would say boredom), during the hectic holidays. Hope you feel better.

saoutchik

I 'm in a similar situation Calicofish, single, divorced and on my 2nd sober Xmas

At least sobriety gives us a chance to improve things. We may not win the jackpot but we have a ticket

doggonecarl

I have my wife's dysfunctional family to deal with on top of the usual holiday stress.

Alone doesn't sound so bad :-)

Bunny211

This is my second sober Christmas. I hate the holidays. I am going to be with my family and I am dreading it. I couldn't do it for Thanksgiving but I made a promise to myself and my sponsor that I would try this Christmas.

If I had my way I would be put into a medically induced coma for the new few weeks and awakened on January 1st.

Ughhhhh I hate holidays.

Soberwolf

Just so you know I love being around SR at Christmas & hope to see you all here I know it's digital but we are all real

In this together

Anna

Hi CalicoFish, I'm glad you posted. There will be people here on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, so keep checking in. You are not alone.

Berrybean

There is no reason to be alone on Christmas day. There will be plenty of people in recovery getting together in AA meetings ovr the holidays. My plan is church, then volunteering with charity Xmas dinner (for people who would be alone at Christmas - spot the irony lol!), then I'll head off to unlock for my usual Sunday night meeting. No doubt there will be some new faces to welcome with people visiting family in the area.

There's still a couple of weeks to look into things you could get involved with. It may not be your ideal Christmas, but I reckon that you can say that for most people. We're sold a lie about what Christmas day can be like. Even people with their families will have the same old arguments and irritating things happening as they do every other day. I reckon the trick is to just resolve to make the most of it and not expect too much. Expectations are a massive tripwire.

ChloeRose63

I'll be here on SR for Christmas. My parents are going to Chicago for the day. I will be home with my cats and my tablet. You will never be alone with SR around!

Calicofish

Thank you everyone for these messages. I am involved in a couple of community activities, but they are now over for the year and will not begin again until Feb. I was invited to my aunt's house (4 hour drive in the snow belt), but am unable to go because I'm having some issues with my dogs and they cannot travel at this time.

I'll get through, I know and I may just poke my head in here during the holidays. I've just been blue the last week - my father has been ill and it's not like I can just go and visit (it involves 8 hours of driving and a 2 hour jet ride).

And hey I know exactly what many of you are saying in regards to having family around and how tiring it can be. I realize that in many ways, I'm lucky.

I don't subscribe to any cable or satellite tv (only stream netflix) so I'm not being bombarded with endless holiday commercials. So, I can binge watch loads of Netflix, read books, and try not to eat my weight in sugar and chocolate.

I don't do AA - it's not my thing. I rely solely on this community for support in regards to addictions.

Thanks again for your support.
CF

P.S. For clarification - I will be 2 years sober at the end of Feb. but 3 years separated. That first year of separation was just one, long alcoholic binge that damn near killed me.

Calicofish

Wow do I relate to that "charity" invite. That's happened to me in the past 2 years. Not much fun at all.

Fly N Buy

Even if you're by yourself, you are not alone.....it's WE thing
I was told if ya want it out, shout it out......good for you on posting, helps others rest assured.

MeSoSober

I think you're very brave -- and two years sober is something I can only dream about the moment.

Dee74

I'll definitely be around Calicofish - along with a host of others...

drop into SR and say hi wherever you like

D

PhoenixJ

Me too, no dogs- but (yet). Prayers, PJ.

MythOfSisyphus

I can relate, Calicofish. I wasted a lot of the 25 years that I drank; not all of them, but a big part. Since quitting four years ago I've made some big strides in some ways but frustratingly little progress in others. The biggest thing I try to focus on is not comparing myself to other people but to myself. I want to be better than the MoS of last month, or last year. Sometimes it's two steps forward and one step back but that's still a net gain of one step.

This will pass. I don't mean that in a polyannaish or condescending way, just as a reminder that hard times don't last. Of course neither do good times, at least not without work.

Hang on tight to sobriety and treat it as the precious treasure that it is. If there's anything good in your life at all it is probably due to being sober. Even if your life isn't perfect keep reminding yourself that it could be worse. Because once it was.