Hotwood

I am on my 2nd glass of wine I feel happy watching TV - I won't feel happy in 12 hours but I will in 16 hours. I hold down a Senior Management Role in a big company with great prospects but drink a bottle of wine (sometimes more) every night. I did not drink for 5 days some time ago had hallucinations and night terrors. How do I break this cycle?

PhoenixJ

Hello Hotwood. Such a story in 2 lines. You joined the SR community and are watching TV with wine in hand- feeling happy and ok. All good. Apparently not. You have already predicted the next 16 hours. Does that mean drinking until you sleep, then wake up with a hangover- which means the plan to drink to excess?
You then go on to make you career stuff see light. To mention this in a alcohol thread online to me indicates you have a position of authority with potential- but your drinking is a way of coping/rewarding- but you are worried about this escalating- partially because you hallucinate? Even that last fact really should be ringing deafening alarm bells to you. Some people have to drink seriously and serially for years to get that. If it is alcohol related.
Either way- that is dangerous and unsafe- to you health wise and others- for example if you drive a car.
My advice- stop drinking now and get medical advice on this from a doctor. Perhaps look at going to an AA meeting. Alcoholism is real- and 'drinking a bottle of wine'? One glass becomes a bottle becomes a cask- or to fasten the pace- perhaps cheap vodka. It is the person, their thinking and how it effects them that causes the damage. Keep posting- SR is a welcoming, non judgemental and safe community. For any 'different' story shared here- there are thousands with almost exactly the same one. Read around on the different threads- a lot to learn from. Prayers to you, PJ

SoberLeigh

Welcome to SR, Hotwood.

Good to hear that you are thinking about breaking that dreadfully awful cycle that we, here, know and understand all too well.

Sounds like your last withdrawal was a bit rough. You may want to talk to your doctor about your alcoholism and a safe, medically supervised detox/withdrawal. You don't have to go it alone (which can be dangerous).

There is an exponentially better way to live and you can experience it. You have taken a great first step to achieving such a life by coming to SR.

Very glad that you have joined us. I hope that the support, understanding, and encouragement that you find here will help you find lasting sobriety and recovery.

We are here for you.

SoberLeigh

P.S. - Below is a link to a very good SR thread regarding the importance of a Plan for sobriety/recovery; it is very well worth the read and the time:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...highlight=psst

Hotwood

Wow. Help from all corners of the planet. I should have come here a long long time ago. I got in tears reading your replies.

aussieblue

Hi Hotwood welcome to the forum.

FreedomCA

You can break the cycle by making a commitment to quit drinking and following up that commitment with some type of action to help you quit, such as a recovery meeting, reading books on recovery, coming on SR, going to a therapist, etc etc.

Mattq2

Glad to meet you hotwood,
I am a successful business owner but all other aspects of my life to include my health were a disaster while drinking. I can only say that for me to gain sobriety I had to want it more then anything else and it all starts with a detailed plan and most importantly day one of sobriety. We are all here to help my friend.

Hotwood

I know I have to stop - in a self analytical way I want to know how I got here. Is that unusual?

doggonecarl

Welcome.

Not unusual at all. It's common to think the solution depends on the answer. It doesn't.

Hevyn

It's so good to have you with us, Hotwood. I was very relieved when I signed on here and found others just like me. No one else in my life understood what I was going through. Welcome - I know you'll find help and encouragement here.

Hotwood

I am going to bed - before I fall asleep downstairs. It is a start and better than yesterday. Thank you

2muchpain

We are all here for you Hotwood. John

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Hotwood!!

Dee74

hi & welcome hotwood

Seeing a Dr is the safest way to go, especially if you had hallucinations and night terrors.

A Dr can give you advice, and sometimes medication, to help you detox safely

D

least

Welcome to the family. I agree with Dee about seeing your doctor for help. Medicine can be given to reduce the withdrawal anxiety. Once you've detoxed, do you have a plan to stay sober?

Soberwolf

Another vote for seeing a GP/Dr

Since seeing my Dr almost 4 years ago they have helped me immensely in my personal life

kintsugi

I too hold a senior position at work, and can at least partially understand the emotional dichotomy you feel around your position at work and your drinking at home.

There are lots of people in our position, and lots of options available. You aren't alone. Have a look around the site, there are lots of resources available.

August252015

Welcome. Lots of good folks and good support around here.

Hope to see you around!

Berrybean

Hi Hotwood. At the moment you may well be what is often referred to as a functioning alcoholic. Someone who can hold down a job, and just about keep on to of things, but relies heavily on alcohol (Sometimes but not always secretly ) and manages to balance all this by maintaining an outer facade, aiming to fool everyone about who they are and what they do, think and feel. There tends to be a lot of shame and resentment and fear involved in this state and way of living. I was one as well. It was very, very lonely behind my facade. No one really knew me. Even people who'd have considered themselves close friends were kept very much at arms length. I had a catalogue of deep dark secrets about what I felt, thought and had done, which I thought I'd have to take to my grave, and that made me at best some kind of freak, and at worst ... well, let's not go there.

Today, 2.5 years sober, the world looks and feels very, very different. Finally, for the first time ever (even going back to childhood ) I have self-acceptance instead of shame and self-loathing. I wake up knowing that the day will be okay, if not good or great. I have real friends who know what I've done and where I've been but love me without judgement (because they've come from the same places and understand where alcohol takes us).

Things can get so, so much better once we've got past that first few weeks / months sober, and have started working a solid program of recovery. If /when you're ready to do this, a good place to start is Dee's thread about making a plan. . http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

If you're an every day drinker it's probably a good idea to talk to your doctor as well.

Wishing you all the best for your recovery. BB