No contact should mean just that
Reach Out and Touch Faith
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: On a Sailboat
Posts: 3,871
No contact should mean just that
As I've mentioned before my ex-fiance lives in the same house as I do, but we rarely see each other unless either of us go out of our way. We live in separate rooms and the only point of contact generally is when he came home from work and my dog whines to see exF. They were very close when we were sharing a room.
Three weeks ago when I was in exF's car he pulled out of his parking space, hit one car, then pulled in turned to back out and hit another! Needless to say that's the last time I'll be in his car even if I can't tell that he's drunk or sober. This week I finally couldn't hold it in and told my landlady. She was my late mother's best friend and lives on the property in her own home. I told her that I can't take his angry outbursts and if it keeps up I will start saving to move out even though I like where I live. Landlady gave him a good talking to and he left me alone for a few days and then tonight decided to be buddy buddy when I went out to walk the dog. As quick as I could I came in under the guise of schoolwork, which is the truth as I have a full schedule.
What's scary is that I think he blacked out the whole conversation with our landlady as he often doesn't remember when he used to come to my door that time of night.
And can you believe he still doesn't think he has a drinking problem? The only reason he hit those cars was because he had a Four Loco when he normally drinks only a 12+ pack of beer.
Three weeks ago when I was in exF's car he pulled out of his parking space, hit one car, then pulled in turned to back out and hit another! Needless to say that's the last time I'll be in his car even if I can't tell that he's drunk or sober. This week I finally couldn't hold it in and told my landlady. She was my late mother's best friend and lives on the property in her own home. I told her that I can't take his angry outbursts and if it keeps up I will start saving to move out even though I like where I live. Landlady gave him a good talking to and he left me alone for a few days and then tonight decided to be buddy buddy when I went out to walk the dog. As quick as I could I came in under the guise of schoolwork, which is the truth as I have a full schedule.
What's scary is that I think he blacked out the whole conversation with our landlady as he often doesn't remember when he used to come to my door that time of night.
And can you believe he still doesn't think he has a drinking problem? The only reason he hit those cars was because he had a Four Loco when he normally drinks only a 12+ pack of beer.
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Oh, Shock! I know you are in a tough living situation. I really can't begin to imagine. Does your ex have any intention of finding someplace else to live? I'm so sorry because it seems like such an uncomfortable living situation for you in so many ways!
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
You really can't have "no contact" and live in the same house. And it's a bit unrealistic to think that a "good talking to" by the landlady would have any real impact.
It seems to me that if he's driving drunk such that he's posing a risk to the neighbors' cars that might be grounds for her to evict him. I forget whose name(s) is/are on the lease.
It seems to me that if he's driving drunk such that he's posing a risk to the neighbors' cars that might be grounds for her to evict him. I forget whose name(s) is/are on the lease.
Reach Out and Touch Faith
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: On a Sailboat
Posts: 3,871
Originally Posted by LexieCat 
You really can't have "no contact" and live in the same house. And it's a bit unrealistic to think that a "good talking to" by the landlady would have any real impact.
It seems to me that if he's driving drunk such that he's posing a risk to the neighbors' cars that might be grounds for her to evict him. I forget whose name(s) is/are on the lease.
It seems to me that if he's driving drunk such that he's posing a risk to the neighbors' cars that might be grounds for her to evict him. I forget whose name(s) is/are on the lease.
Originally Posted by Seren
Oh, Shock! I know you are in a tough living situation. I really can't begin to imagine. Does your ex have any intention of finding someplace else to live? I'm so sorry because it seems like such an uncomfortable living situation for you in so many ways!
I have a separate door to go outside and leave and I know what time he cooks so it isn't hard to ignore him. I also have him on block on my phone.
As for the landlady, he may not "listen to her" (hell, he already forgot what went down. I'm guessing he had blacked out) but now I can call him out saying "our landlady said not to do this.
Even with a busy week with classes, I'm so grateful. Doing the meditation posted on another thread here. I'm finally taking care of myself.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Well, then the landlady can presumably refuse to renew his lease at the end of the month, provided she gives him notice (whatever notice the lease requires--most likely a month). I'd talk to her. If she likes you, she might be willing to do that.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
shockozulu.....I think it is easy for us to forget that heavy drinking alcoholics don't remember much of what goes on.
We tend to remember every detail...and have it engraved into our memories.....
Rationalization and denial are the cornerposts of alcoholism......
We tend to remember every detail...and have it engraved into our memories.....
Rationalization and denial are the cornerposts of alcoholism......
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