Munchkin94

My situation: I quit drinking in 2010 after years of daily blackout binges then my mother died in 2011 and I started up again. I drank daily, heavily, until about 6 months ago. I honestly thought I had it this time...my daughter left for college and I was still okay...until last night. My husband came home from work and told me he got fired from his job. That was at 6PM last night and it is now 7AM the next morning and I am drinking! I have never in my life had a drink before 3 in the afternoon. I am going to die if I continue down this road. Not sure why I'm even posting this? I'm just in a really bad place right now...

24hrsAday

We're Glad you are here.. Welcome!

Dee74

HI Munchkin - welcome

I always found there's no situation so bad a drink will not make worse.

Don't let fear and uncertainty drive you backwards.

I'm sure you've faced adversity before and come through - and this time you're not alone

This is a place of tremendous support and encouragement - I hope you'll stick around

D

IHaveFaith2016

Hi Munchkin,
I understand where you are at. Stress always triggered me to binge. It was as though I had a justified excuse to fall back down the rabbit hole. I can promise you though, no matter how long you continue to drink over it, it will only make your situation worse, not better. Why not make this your day 1 - and then you can deal with the current stress with a clear mind. You've done it before, so you know that you have the strength inside you.
Wishing you strength today.

Ooona

Im so glad you are here Munchkin. So yeah it sounds like you can get sober when you want but have real problems when lifes big stressors come your way? I have done the same, used alcohol to cope with losses and stress in the past. Im sober now and have had to come up with a plan of action to deal with stress as this is life and they will come, regardless of whether I drink or dont, ya know?

So first step. maybe dump out any alcohol you have left and make this Day 1- once you are sober you can start to develop a plan to help you cope. The folks here can help with that, everyones great with that!

Again welcome and best wishes for you!

Munchkin94

Thank you everyone, I want to be sober but I just can't deal with life right now...

ScottFromWI

That's your addiction talking Munchkin. All the problems that we think alcohol will "take away" from our real life are always there...and most likely they will be worse because we chose to run away and drink instead.

Sometimes we need some extra help to get back on track - did you do any meetings or formal recovery when you got sober back in 2010? Is there a meeting or counseling center close that you could call? It's very important that you realize that the alcohol is actually making everything worse...you need to do whatever you can to stop today- this morning. The longer you let it go the worse things will get, guarnateed.

August252015

Welcome. You can get and stay sober. I second what Scott said- and is there anyone who can help you, go with you to a meeting, spend time with you? Today. Just start with today.

Keeping occupied - going to a meeting - sleep if you can (that still helps pass time for me, for whatever reason I need a "time out")....and stick around here. Have you looked at the Oct class under Newcomers Daily Support Threads? Good place to start.

Again, welcome. Look forward to seeing you around.

2muchpain

Sorry to hear you're going through a tough time, but I think you know drinking won't help. Going it alone is really hard to do. AA one option, but counseling is another. Wish you luck. John

january161992

hi munchkin

Bird615

Welcome to SR, Munchkin!

Stick with us and you'll learn more about getting sober and staying that way. There's lots of support for you here.

theVman31

Hello Munchkin94,
Your amazing ! God damn i can so relate with what you wrote.
But you got precious sober time and a nights /days drinking doesnt undo all that. Stay strong, life deals us a bad and from time to time but the beauty of life is pulling through those times....
Im a bit of a bad philosopher.
Stick around SR.
It helps

FreedomCA

I also felt fear when I started drinking before 4 pm and around noon on some days. I was so baffled by my behavior and kept it to myself because I was so ashamed. Those were the worst days, and I feel for you.

FreeOwl

welcome!!

I guarantee you that drinking is not going to solve your problems, help your situation or make life easier to deal with.

It'll do exactly the opposite of all those things.

I'd suggest hitting an AA meeting right away and getting yourself back on the sober path. EVERYTHING will be much-improved if you're able to be present, clear, and healthy to meet life's challenges and move beyond them.

You can do it.

Munchkin94

AA is not an option for me as I am anti-social...really don't like talking to people :-( the last time I was sober was due to this forum. I never posted but I read everything people said. I know I can do it again, I just have to want it but with everything happening right now it's a tough choice...

Munchkin94

Deal with it or forget it's happening...

FreeOwl

it wasn't for me either....

until it finally was.

Anyway - there are lots of other options.

The choice is yours. You can continue down this path or you can decide to do something about it before it all gets worse.

I hope you choose the latter.

Munchkin94

Thank you, I hope I chose the latter too...

IHaveFaith2016

Munchkin, chose it today! That first step is the biggest leap, but you'll never regret it. Life can be so much better.
If nothing changes, then nothing changes.

Winslow

((Hugs)) Munchkin