Randall924

I'm not a drop down drunk (i.e., Frank on Showtime's "Shameless"). I drink every day, but not so much that I blackout or forget the night. What has finally pushed me down this road of questioning my sobriety and my "dependence" on alcohol is the lies:

I've lied to my wife about the amount I drink.

I've gone to the store to purchase beer to replace the one's I've drank from the fridge, just to hide the amount I drank.

I've lied about the amount I drank before driving my kids.

I've lied to myself about being ABLE to stop, about being able to control myself and have just 1 or 2 drinks.

And I'm tired of the lies.

Just last night, I came to resolution that I have a problem.

I am an alcoholic.

Now what...?

sugarbear1

Are you ready to stay stopped for you?

least

Welcome to the family. Admitting you have a problem is the first step to solving it. I hope we can help you get sober for good.

tekink

To answer "Now what?" Perhaps repeating the toughest 6 words to say? They were much harder for me to say than accepting that I was an alcoholic.

"I will never drink alcohol again"

when I first said that in my head my whole body seemed to curse me.

REsoberALITY

Hello and Welcome Randall. Now it's time to stop. It's something you CAN do and SR can be a great help. Have you tried stopping before?

Wishing you the best tonight.

RE

MissPerfumado

Welcome, Randall. SR is a great place and full of welcoming people, wisdom and warmth.

Tekink makes an excellent point - it was both when I admitted I was an alcoholic and accepted that that meant I could NEVER drink again that progress was made. Beyond that, I would suggest you keep reading a lot here on SR as there is so much to learn. With the help of SR I found out what to expect when I stopped for good, and how to make a plan for it.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

That's just one of the great links on this forum.

Dee74

Hi Randall

You've found a good place for support and encouragement

Read around as post as much as you like - I think that's a pretty good whats next

D

Fly N Buy

Dad died of alcoholism.

I am familiar with these words. Now what? Seek the help you need and make not drinking the number one priority in your life.

Those are good next steps.

Now what??

Randall924

You're right. That is more difficult to say. It's like the death of good friend. It's tougher than I ever thought it could be...

And thanks for the warm welcomes. In such a divided world (and a politically divided year), it's heartwarming to hear.

MissPerfumado

Yes, it is a very difficult thing to say. I think a lot of us agree with that ...

That said, someone with many years' sobriety wrote on this site that he got sober and started AA and working the steps of AA, and then truly admitted to himself that he would never drink again. The clear message was not to wait until you can accept it. Otherwise you're just setting up for an excuse not to get sober and our addiction loves those excuses. Just a thought and another example of the benefits of being on this site ... lots of experience and different ways to achieve sobriety and recovery.

D122y

Randall,

You and me and many here are addicts.

It is not a mystery or some evil force.

I was physically addicted to booze. I tapered down, binged a few times, had a few hypoglycemia attacks in the end...then quit.

It was a living g hell for about 2 weeks, then the anxiety shown through....it lasted over a year. It got a little better ea. Day.

Our brains are messed up from the booze. Our dopamine production is jacked.

It comes back slowly. Exercise helped.

I come here all the time. I pray.

Read the stickies. Try to help folks.

Get clean. Change your life a bit. Stay clean.

Thanks.

Algorithm

Very good.

What do you hear in your mind's eye when you think about never drinking again? Listen carefully.

uncorked

Hi Randall, you are smart to catch yourself before you do black out, not remember things, etc. It's a slippery slope. It took me a long time and a divorce/possibility of losing custody of my son to seek treatment. You don't have to wait that long. I was really afraid to life a sober life. Couldn't imagine giving up my nightly wine. Wound up going to inpatient rehab and it was the best thing I ever did....I'll be a year sober in about a week. You can do this! Being sober feels good. Everything in your life will improve.

Tonymblue

Those are the hardest words to say. However, those words can be the best words you've ever said. Its the first best day of the rest of your life. Now its time to live it.

thomas11

Hi and welcome. Those are very tough words to say, but it is an important first step. You'll enjoy your life much more sober. The first few weeks you may find boredom to be your biggest obstacle. But it passes. Wish you the best.

tekink

From there the next step is understanding it's not your mind's eye you hear but rather your addiction pretending to be your minds eye trying to trick you.

Once you can separate this voice from your own true voice it becomes easier to say.

It's a thought experiment that can work to null your cravings. Sounds so simple, but for me it worked very well.

There is a lot of info on this method! It was life changing for me.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Randall!!