Can't figure out what I need to do
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 86
Can't figure out what I need to do
So I've been here off and on for a while. It took me some time to realize that drinking alcohol is not something I need to be doing. And honestly, came to the realization a few months ago that it is going to kill me unless I change something. I have made all the excuses, put it off again and again. I am sick of living in this limbo between being a drunk and not being a drunk.
I've beat an eating disorder and depression in my life. I have an amazing life now - amazing partner, amazing daughter, great job and career, money, just bought a house and relocated - but I can't stop drinking. I used to use alcohol to cope with being depressed, but why I continue to do it, I don't know. I do know that I need to get serious about it and I need to get serious about it today. My daughter is getting old enough to where my behaviors will affect her and I CANNOT have that.
I don't want to go to AA - I have done it before and counting days sober is a real trigger for me. If I screw up and have to start at day 1, I stop going and feel bad about myself. I don't know if there are other options. I don't know how to build a recovery plan. I feel that a support partner or two is really what I need - but how would I find someone I can email with a few times a day.
The other issue is my family. I just don't want to own up to them. I don't want it to become another issue that I have. My parents and I aren't that close and they didn't support me when I was going through my other stuff, so I really don't want to address this with them. My stepfather himself is an alcoholic anyways.
Anyways, I don't really know the point of this post and I apologize for the rambling.
I've beat an eating disorder and depression in my life. I have an amazing life now - amazing partner, amazing daughter, great job and career, money, just bought a house and relocated - but I can't stop drinking. I used to use alcohol to cope with being depressed, but why I continue to do it, I don't know. I do know that I need to get serious about it and I need to get serious about it today. My daughter is getting old enough to where my behaviors will affect her and I CANNOT have that.
I don't want to go to AA - I have done it before and counting days sober is a real trigger for me. If I screw up and have to start at day 1, I stop going and feel bad about myself. I don't know if there are other options. I don't know how to build a recovery plan. I feel that a support partner or two is really what I need - but how would I find someone I can email with a few times a day.
The other issue is my family. I just don't want to own up to them. I don't want it to become another issue that I have. My parents and I aren't that close and they didn't support me when I was going through my other stuff, so I really don't want to address this with them. My stepfather himself is an alcoholic anyways.
Anyways, I don't really know the point of this post and I apologize for the rambling.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Sounds like you need to get a recovery plan in place, here's a link to get you started:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
This is a great place to start ForMyMel and welcome! You will find that there are many here who don't go to AA or NA, including some admin. (I've never been in to counting days either, so I get that!)
Many reasons you've talked about indicate, that, YES, it's got to stop. I can't speak for everyone, but I got weary not of the taste of a cold beer on a hot day nor of a glass of wine with food. What I got so dingdangblasted weary of was that once I started drinking, I couldn't seem to stop before I got to the point of it being very very unhealthy and at times blackout. I was a binge drinker.
One of the problems I've found is that alcohol is glamourized in our society and it's everywhere you look and sometimes even pushed/offered to you no matter how you try to avoid when going somewhere. Me and my hubby love to travel...we love to eat out, we have even been "beer snobs"....The neighbors across the street own a brewery. The other neighbors are just flat out alcoholics, yet nice people. It's EVERYWHERE.
Anyways, starting to ramble. You WILL feel better if you stop drinking and your daughter will surely notice and positive change. There will be some bumps, but if you want this thing, you can have it. I feel SOOOOoooo much better than I did a year ago in most all ways. Life doesn't become a bed of roses, but I find that I recover from the thorns a whole lot better with sober mind and healthy body.
Many reasons you've talked about indicate, that, YES, it's got to stop. I can't speak for everyone, but I got weary not of the taste of a cold beer on a hot day nor of a glass of wine with food. What I got so dingdangblasted weary of was that once I started drinking, I couldn't seem to stop before I got to the point of it being very very unhealthy and at times blackout. I was a binge drinker.
One of the problems I've found is that alcohol is glamourized in our society and it's everywhere you look and sometimes even pushed/offered to you no matter how you try to avoid when going somewhere. Me and my hubby love to travel...we love to eat out, we have even been "beer snobs"....The neighbors across the street own a brewery. The other neighbors are just flat out alcoholics, yet nice people. It's EVERYWHERE.
Anyways, starting to ramble. You WILL feel better if you stop drinking and your daughter will surely notice and positive change. There will be some bumps, but if you want this thing, you can have it. I feel SOOOOoooo much better than I did a year ago in most all ways. Life doesn't become a bed of roses, but I find that I recover from the thorns a whole lot better with sober mind and healthy body.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 86
Originally Posted by teatreeoil007 
This is a great place to start ForMyMel and welcome! You will find that there are many here who don't go to AA or NA, including some admin. (I've never been in to counting days either, so I get that!)
Many reasons you've talked about indicate, that, YES, it's got to stop. I can't speak for everyone, but I got weary not of the taste of a cold beer on a hot day nor of a glass of wine with food. What I got so dingdangblasted weary of was that once I started drinking, I couldn't seem to stop before I got to the point of it being very very unhealthy and at times blackout. I was a binge drinker.
One of the problems I've found is that alcohol is glamourized in our society and it's everywhere you look and sometimes even pushed/offered to you no matter how you try to avoid when going somewhere. Me and my hubby love to travel...we love to eat out, we have even been "beer snobs"....The neighbors across the street own a brewery. The other neighbors are just flat out alcoholics, yet nice people. It's EVERYWHERE.
Anyways, starting to ramble. You WILL feel better if you stop drinking and your daughter will surely notice and positive change. There will be some bumps, but if you want this thing, you can have it. I feel SOOOOoooo much better than I did a year ago in most all ways. Life doesn't become a bed of roses, but I find that I recover from the thorns a whole lot better with sober mind and healthy body.
Many reasons you've talked about indicate, that, YES, it's got to stop. I can't speak for everyone, but I got weary not of the taste of a cold beer on a hot day nor of a glass of wine with food. What I got so dingdangblasted weary of was that once I started drinking, I couldn't seem to stop before I got to the point of it being very very unhealthy and at times blackout. I was a binge drinker.
One of the problems I've found is that alcohol is glamourized in our society and it's everywhere you look and sometimes even pushed/offered to you no matter how you try to avoid when going somewhere. Me and my hubby love to travel...we love to eat out, we have even been "beer snobs"....The neighbors across the street own a brewery. The other neighbors are just flat out alcoholics, yet nice people. It's EVERYWHERE.
Anyways, starting to ramble. You WILL feel better if you stop drinking and your daughter will surely notice and positive change. There will be some bumps, but if you want this thing, you can have it. I feel SOOOOoooo much better than I did a year ago in most all ways. Life doesn't become a bed of roses, but I find that I recover from the thorns a whole lot better with sober mind and healthy body.
Thanks! Did you go to AA or have some other support system? One issue I have is that I can make it the whole week just fine, but then Friday rolls around and it's like I have amnesia...or I just don't care. The reality is that I don't want to stop drinking, I don't want to never have that feeling again, I just know that I have to or I will die - or worse, my daughter will struggle after watching me.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Welcome back!! I was on and off SR for. Few years as well, and this past NYE I knew I needed to be done. I made a commitment to myself that 2016 would be my first of many years sober. The first few weeks were tough, especially Friday nights.
I made plans to exercise, do things with my kids, take a long bath, binge watch Netflix. I had to plan out every minute of my normal drinking time for the first few weeks. As time passed the desire to drink popped up much less often, and when it did I was able to play the tape through and think about how I would feel the next morning if I drank.
I am just over seven months sober now and SR, especially the January class have been my biggest supports. I check in here daily and I read and post. I gain wisdom from members who have been sober for long periods, as well as those starting out or starting again.
You can do this. Start by joining the Augusr class, then decide if you need some sort of face to face support. There are lots of options, not just AA.
Looking forward to seeing you on here each day.
I made plans to exercise, do things with my kids, take a long bath, binge watch Netflix. I had to plan out every minute of my normal drinking time for the first few weeks. As time passed the desire to drink popped up much less often, and when it did I was able to play the tape through and think about how I would feel the next morning if I drank.
I am just over seven months sober now and SR, especially the January class have been my biggest supports. I check in here daily and I read and post. I gain wisdom from members who have been sober for long periods, as well as those starting out or starting again.
You can do this. Start by joining the Augusr class, then decide if you need some sort of face to face support. There are lots of options, not just AA.
Looking forward to seeing you on here each day.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Originally Posted by 4MyMel
The reality is that I don't want to stop drinking, I don't want to never have that feeling again, I just know that I have to or I will die - or worse, my daughter will struggle after watching me.
The link that PurpleKnight posted is full of suggestions and ideas from all of us over the years. It's a good idea to make a plan, especially when you know Friday is an issue. Then you will be prepared.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players, including but not limited to AA:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.
Every method has an online meeting option too.
I think if you're trying to quit, but don't want to change anything about your life - a life that up to now has been about drinking - you're making it hard because everyday is going to present you with opportunities to drink.
Support's vital for everyone but especially in those circumstances.
At the very least make it a priority to become a regular poster here - daily or more?
D
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.
Every method has an online meeting option too.
I think if you're trying to quit, but don't want to change anything about your life - a life that up to now has been about drinking - you're making it hard because everyday is going to present you with opportunities to drink.
Support's vital for everyone but especially in those circumstances.
At the very least make it a priority to become a regular poster here - daily or more?
D
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