Thinking about moving to help him stay clean
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: denver,co
Posts: 29
Thinking about moving to help him stay clean
Last night I posted about being worried my husband would relapse and began to think maybe if we were to move out of town it could help him recover easier that way he doesnt have such easy acess to old connections but then again I tell myself he will just drive to get it or if he wants it he will find somewhere to get his fix wherever we go since its everywhere. He has mentioned moving at the beginning of his treatment but now he isnt sure..We have all our family here and i have addicts in my family that have been sober for 5 years and they never moved. I feel as if they can do it so can he..I also feel if he really wants sobriety and his family then he will work hard at it.
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
So you're solving his problem for him, right?
You could move to an island in the middle of the Pacific and unless he really wants to quit, he'd find a way.
Honestly, from what you said in your other thread it doesn't sound like he plans to stay in recovery. He's already being evasive and blaming you for being "controlling," right? That's like "I Plan To Get Wasted ASAP 101."
Maybe work on your Plan B for yourself and your child if things don't go well? Moving to another place where you don't have a support system will just make it harder.
You and your child are the top priority. He will do what he's going to do.
Sending you a hug.
You could move to an island in the middle of the Pacific and unless he really wants to quit, he'd find a way.
Honestly, from what you said in your other thread it doesn't sound like he plans to stay in recovery. He's already being evasive and blaming you for being "controlling," right? That's like "I Plan To Get Wasted ASAP 101."
Maybe work on your Plan B for yourself and your child if things don't go well? Moving to another place where you don't have a support system will just make it harder.
You and your child are the top priority. He will do what he's going to do.
Sending you a hug.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
that's know as a geographic cure. the problem is...no matter where we go, there we are! we can't run away from addiction, or hide from it. your other post yesterday was about your husband's entitled attitude and rage towards you.....and now YOU are trying to come up with some plan that will assure he stays clean and maybe turns into a nice guy.
flip things around....what do YOU need? what is best for your child?
flip things around....what do YOU need? what is best for your child?
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
faithandlove.....I have watched many people try to use the "geographic solution" for personal problems.....and, I have watched it fail....or get even worse....
Yes, there are times, in life , that a planned move for reasons can be a good thing....but, not in this kind of situation.
the problem is...that, when people move...they take themselves with them.....
dandylion
Yes, there are times, in life , that a planned move for reasons can be a good thing....but, not in this kind of situation.
the problem is...that, when people move...they take themselves with them.....
dandylion
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: denver,co
Posts: 29
You are all right! Idk what the heck I am thinking...maybe I am just scared of the next step I will have to make if he relapses. I need to take it one day at a time and when we get to that point then I will do what I need to do for me and our daughter.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by faithnlove13 
i have addicts in my family that have been sober for 5 years and they never moved.
As far as moving?
They say that moving away from our issues usually does not work.
An addict or a drunk will always no matter how hard find what they want.
A nice sober day wished for all,
M-Bob
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: denver,co
Posts: 29
I do have a plan but no boundries that he is aware of. He knows I wont tolerate it again. Which he says I can threaten him all I want that he wasnt going back to it but for him to be pissy and tell me i am not in control,he doesnt care what I say about things and just act like a child instead of a 36 year old.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: denver,co
Posts: 29
He refuses to speak to my family members who are recoverin addicts. He lost everyhing to his addiction. I kicked him out but i was always there..maybe that is where i screwed up. I should have cut him off completly but then again i doubt loosing his family would have worked. Meth is evil!
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Join Date: May 2016
Location: My Hive
Posts: 81
My dad was (still is) a terrible alcoholic. My mom eventually became one, plus heavy meth use (10 yrs).
My dad had our family move 40 times during my childhood. Only because "things will get better" at some new location. It never got better.
Only Worse.
My dad had our family move 40 times during my childhood. Only because "things will get better" at some new location. It never got better.
Only Worse.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: grateful where at
Posts: 52
My son moved about hour away. He needed to get away from some things in this area. But he has chosen to stay clean. His meeting and sponsor is in that area. He comes home often. I know he needs a bit of seperation. But oh my is it hard. I can't control what he does his actions speak for themselves.
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