Am I an alcoholic?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 1
Am I an alcoholic?
Hi everyone, I know I should really be talking to a doctor about this but I just need some advice. I have always been quite a heavy drinker, not ever knowing when to stop once I start. I drink quite a lot.....not by serious heavy drinking standards but maybe a bottle of wine a night? But I feel like it's starting to control me; I spend all day thinking about being able to have a drink, which is usually around 4pm when I'm getting dinner for my children and know I haven't got to drive anywhere. Just lately I've found myself wanting a drink during the day, and even in the morning, although I don't actually do that! But I find myself spending the day looking forward to having a glass of wine later on. I don't go out much but if I do I feel I can't enjoy anything unless I have a drink, and would rather not go somewhere if I know there won't be any alcohol. I have never considered myself an alcoholic but I have two young children and I'm starting to wonder if I need to seek some help for their sake.
Sorry for the long post, any help would be much appreciated x
Sorry for the long post, any help would be much appreciated x
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by Demps03 
I have always been quite a heavy drinker, not ever knowing when to stop once I start.
I drink quite a lot
I feel like it's starting to control me; I spend all day thinking about being able to have a drink
I've found myself wanting a drink during the day, and even in the morning, although I don't actually do that(YET)!
I find myself spending the day looking forward to having a glass of wine later on.
I don't go out much but if I do I feel I can't enjoy anything unless I have a drink.
I would rather not go somewhere if I know there won't be any alcohol.
Regardless what label you put on this - do these statements represent who you really want to be?
Whether "alcoholic" is the verdict or not - is this how you'd like to live your life?
To respond more directly to your question - I personally have experienced all of the things you listed. I have also personally debated whether I was "an alcoholic" for many years while my relationship with alcohol got worse and the list of statements got longer.
EVEN NOW - 2.5 years sober - I don't really like to say "I"m an alcoholic" or even feel that is really an accurate way to define me.....
But what I DO know and what I CAN say unequivocally is that "I choose not to drink alcohol because I find it inconsistent with who I want to be and how I want to live my life.... I choose sobriety because my life is better, richer, deeper and more abundant without alcohol".
Maybe you would benefit from focusing less on the question of whether you are "an alcoholic" and more on the question of what you want your life to be, who you want to be, and what alcohol represents to that picture.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,783
Welcome to the family. 
Only you can answer that question, tho it doesn't really matter what you call it. If alcohol is causing problems, then it's best to stop drinking.
I hope the support here can help you get sober for good and live a life you're proud of.
Only you can answer that question, tho it doesn't really matter what you call it. If alcohol is causing problems, then it's best to stop drinking.I hope the support here can help you get sober for good and live a life you're proud of.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
take a quick read of this post;
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ime-worse.html
This is where the statements you've made wind up leading us if left to progress....
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ime-worse.html
This is where the statements you've made wind up leading us if left to progress....
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 709
I agree with other posters. If alcohol is a problem, it doesn't matter what you call yourself. I was like you, drinking about a bottle a night, not wanting to go anywhere unless there was alcohol, etc. And it bothered my husband when I drank. (Then again, everything bothered my husband....) I didn't think about alcohol until the end of the day when my 5 pm internal buzzer went off to start the cocktail hour(s). It's freeing not to be consumed with that anymore.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 95
You don't have to be in on skid row to be an alcoholic. A functional alcoholic is someone who needs alcohol but is able to work, pay bills, and have friendships/relationships.
When I was in the functional alcoholic phase, I questioned myself. My drinking friends actually got mad at me because for me to be questioning myself was to question them. I dismissed it as me thinking too much and left it alone.
I never reached skid row, but I got to where my functional alcoholism impaired my ability to have any kind of relationship that did not involve alcohol. My attitude toward life, toward myself, and toward others was miserably negative.
Nobody told me I was an alcoholic. Even if they had, I would have dismissed them as being judgmental or nosey. Luckily for me, I realized the pain that I was causing others and myself by letting the booze and drugs be my reality.
Hope this helps.
When I was in the functional alcoholic phase, I questioned myself. My drinking friends actually got mad at me because for me to be questioning myself was to question them. I dismissed it as me thinking too much and left it alone.
I never reached skid row, but I got to where my functional alcoholism impaired my ability to have any kind of relationship that did not involve alcohol. My attitude toward life, toward myself, and toward others was miserably negative.
Nobody told me I was an alcoholic. Even if they had, I would have dismissed them as being judgmental or nosey. Luckily for me, I realized the pain that I was causing others and myself by letting the booze and drugs be my reality.
Hope this helps.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 2,580
Hi Demps -- I can relate to your post. I didn't have any big external warning signs, but I just found that my evenings were starting to revolve around drinking wine, and I was always thinking/planning to make sure I had a supply of wine available. It started to feel like a burden and like I was losing the power to choose. Like talldude posted above, I also noticed that my mindset was becoming more negative over time.
I wrestled a lot with the "alcoholic" label but have decided it doesn't really matter. I know that I'm better off without alcohol, so I don't drink, period.
You are fortunate to be considering this when your children are young ... they can grow up with a healthy parent who is emotionally present.
I wrestled a lot with the "alcoholic" label but have decided it doesn't really matter. I know that I'm better off without alcohol, so I don't drink, period.
You are fortunate to be considering this when your children are young ... they can grow up with a healthy parent who is emotionally present.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 123
Originally Posted by FreeOwl
I made a few slight edits just to highlight the list of things you've shared about yourself.
Regardless what label you put on this - do these statements represent who you really want to be?
Whether "alcoholic" is the verdict or not - is this how you'd like to live your life?
To respond more directly to your question - I personally have experienced all of the things you listed. I have also personally debated whether I was "an alcoholic" for many years while my relationship with alcohol got worse and the list of statements got longer.
EVEN NOW - 2.5 years sober - I don't really like to say "I"m an alcoholic" or even feel that is really an accurate way to define me.....
But what I DO know and what I CAN say unequivocally is that "I choose not to drink alcohol because I find it inconsistent with who I want to be and how I want to live my life.... I choose sobriety because my life is better, richer, deeper and more abundant without alcohol".
Maybe you would benefit from focusing less on the question of whether you are "an alcoholic" and more on the question of what you want your life to be, who you want to be, and what alcohol represents to that picture.
Regardless what label you put on this - do these statements represent who you really want to be?
Whether "alcoholic" is the verdict or not - is this how you'd like to live your life?
To respond more directly to your question - I personally have experienced all of the things you listed. I have also personally debated whether I was "an alcoholic" for many years while my relationship with alcohol got worse and the list of statements got longer.
EVEN NOW - 2.5 years sober - I don't really like to say "I"m an alcoholic" or even feel that is really an accurate way to define me.....
But what I DO know and what I CAN say unequivocally is that "I choose not to drink alcohol because I find it inconsistent with who I want to be and how I want to live my life.... I choose sobriety because my life is better, richer, deeper and more abundant without alcohol".
Maybe you would benefit from focusing less on the question of whether you are "an alcoholic" and more on the question of what you want your life to be, who you want to be, and what alcohol represents to that picture.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 138
Alcoholism is pretty sneaky. Most? people drink sometimes, and leave it alone when they see fit. Some kind of hard drinkers can give it up if they really have to. A real alcoholic may start out as either, but at some point in his life, he begins to lose all control of the amount he will take, once he starts to drink. The sneakiest and most merciless obsession with destructive drinking begins to overshadow his life. Alarmed, he starts trying to control it or stop altogether, and piteously finds out he cannot. At certain times, the thought of a drink enters his mind, and with or without serious deliberation of the almost certain consequences, he finds he cannot mar al his will to resist. 'Just one can't hurt' he might tell himself. Or 'I went long enough without quite successfully, what should be the problem'. Or 'special occasion' or whatever. Even intending to limit his intake, he finds himself *unable* to stick to his plan. This type of thinking has established itself long before it is realized, so it is good you are checking it now! There are few who can escape the mad grip once it has a hold. In time we become raving jeckyll and hydes, always more or less insanely drunk, in full blown condition, and nothing anybody says or pleads has effect. We drink ourselves into insanity and death unless we are locked up. We are not like normal people and we never will be.
I have heard suggestions if you wonder if you are alcoholic, try some controlled drinking. Try to have one or two and atop abruptly, and try this more than once. Shouldn't take long to decide, and if you fear the condition then try to abstain entirely for a year or more.
I myself abstained for ten years, cracked a beer when the kids were grown, and within a few short years had lost all. Jails, violence, ruined career, depression, anxiety, humiliation, blah blah.
'So what's it like to have a license', i had to grumble to my own kids from the back seat, where i had become dependent on charity and helplessly drunk. Not so funny when the party's over!
I have heard suggestions if you wonder if you are alcoholic, try some controlled drinking. Try to have one or two and atop abruptly, and try this more than once. Shouldn't take long to decide, and if you fear the condition then try to abstain entirely for a year or more.
I myself abstained for ten years, cracked a beer when the kids were grown, and within a few short years had lost all. Jails, violence, ruined career, depression, anxiety, humiliation, blah blah.
'So what's it like to have a license', i had to grumble to my own kids from the back seat, where i had become dependent on charity and helplessly drunk. Not so funny when the party's over!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 98
You sound exactly like I was 10 years ago. The subsequent 10 years were not good. My kids grew up with a mom who resisted any evening activities and isolated herself more and more. 10 years of hangovers and fixation on alcohol eventually gulping wine and hiding empties. I sought rehab (out patient) a few months ago and really wish I had done it 10 years ago.
If drinking is taking over your life then stop. If you can't stop or can't stop for long then you may be am alcoholic. If so, you CAN stop but it is hard.
If drinking is taking over your life then stop. If you can't stop or can't stop for long then you may be am alcoholic. If so, you CAN stop but it is hard.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Your question is often the very first one posted by many on this forum, including myself. Only you can determine. But you are here, signed up and posted. That should give you an indication. No one likes the label, but its not about the label. Its about liberating yourself and being free from being drunk or hungover...constantly.
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 258
"But what I DO know and what I CAN say unequivocally is that "I choose not to drink alcohol because I find it inconsistent with who I want to be and how I want to live my life.... I choose sobriety because my life is better, richer, deeper and more abundant without alcohol".
Maybe you would benefit from focusing less on the question of whether you are "an alcoholic" and more on the question of what you want your life to be, who you want to be, and what alcohol represents to that picture.[/QUOTE]
Yes!!! I love everything about these statements, this is the kind of positivity I need in my life right now. Thank you for saying so. ❤❤❤👌
Maybe you would benefit from focusing less on the question of whether you are "an alcoholic" and more on the question of what you want your life to be, who you want to be, and what alcohol represents to that picture.[/QUOTE]
Yes!!! I love everything about these statements, this is the kind of positivity I need in my life right now. Thank you for saying so. ❤❤❤👌
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
Best gift you will ever give your kids!!!
I quit after realizing that I wasn't the mom I wanted to be to my little girl and it was the best decision EVER.
You will not regret it. Make a plan and stick around.
Welcome to the family.
I quit after realizing that I wasn't the mom I wanted to be to my little girl and it was the best decision EVER.
You will not regret it. Make a plan and stick around.
Welcome to the family.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Oxnard
Posts: 173
I have to agree with Anna on this.
The label is something you should not worry about. I am certain that there will be many people who try to convince you whether you are or not. At the end of the day, I have a feeling you know if you are or are not.
What concerns me is that you mentioned that you're going through about a bottle of wine a day, and that you find yourself thinking about drinking a glass of wine throughout the day. If you were thinking about drinking a glass of wine and then go home and have that one glass of wine--more power to you. But what stood out is your mentioning that you go through a bottle. Alcoholic or not, that isn't all that good of a habit.
I am with everyone else: take steps to moderate or eliminate drinking from your life...it will be the best thing for yourself and your kids.
Welcome, please keep coming back.
The label is something you should not worry about. I am certain that there will be many people who try to convince you whether you are or not. At the end of the day, I have a feeling you know if you are or are not.
What concerns me is that you mentioned that you're going through about a bottle of wine a day, and that you find yourself thinking about drinking a glass of wine throughout the day. If you were thinking about drinking a glass of wine and then go home and have that one glass of wine--more power to you. But what stood out is your mentioning that you go through a bottle. Alcoholic or not, that isn't all that good of a habit.
I am with everyone else: take steps to moderate or eliminate drinking from your life...it will be the best thing for yourself and your kids.
Welcome, please keep coming back.
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