90 days
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Jacksonville FL
Posts: 164
90 days
I don't post much anymore but I just wanted to share that I got my 90 day chip yesterday. I have never had 90 days before. Last year I tried to get sober and I relapsed on day 87. So it is a milestone for me.
I just feel like I have so much work to do. Its great that I am not drinking and my biggest problem isn't trying to string 3 days together anymore. At least I am past that. But now I just feel like I am a mess in every way. All my problems are still there... my car is a disaster. I need to get work done on my car to fix the bumper and hood from a fender bender I was in (during sobriety). The inside is still a mess and needs to be cleaned out and my car needs to be detailed because it is so dirty. I have a ton of weight I need to lose. I need new cloths. I have trouble with relationships and making friends. I am dating a guy who is technically still married. I mean he has been separated for 3 years and hasn't lived with his wife for 3 years. But she wont let him get divorced so he is just moving on with his life while he is technically still married. And he has a ton of female friends so that is hard to deal with. And I still have trouble motivating myself to clean my house and my room. Sometimes I do a quick clean before I have company and just shove everything in my closet or under my bed.
I guess all I am saying is that I am really happy that I am not drinking anymore. But I am still just me. With all the same problems. I know it is one step at a time. But sometimes it just feels like there is so much work to be done to get my life where i'd like it to be.
I just feel like I have so much work to do. Its great that I am not drinking and my biggest problem isn't trying to string 3 days together anymore. At least I am past that. But now I just feel like I am a mess in every way. All my problems are still there... my car is a disaster. I need to get work done on my car to fix the bumper and hood from a fender bender I was in (during sobriety). The inside is still a mess and needs to be cleaned out and my car needs to be detailed because it is so dirty. I have a ton of weight I need to lose. I need new cloths. I have trouble with relationships and making friends. I am dating a guy who is technically still married. I mean he has been separated for 3 years and hasn't lived with his wife for 3 years. But she wont let him get divorced so he is just moving on with his life while he is technically still married. And he has a ton of female friends so that is hard to deal with. And I still have trouble motivating myself to clean my house and my room. Sometimes I do a quick clean before I have company and just shove everything in my closet or under my bed.
I guess all I am saying is that I am really happy that I am not drinking anymore. But I am still just me. With all the same problems. I know it is one step at a time. But sometimes it just feels like there is so much work to be done to get my life where i'd like it to be.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
I hit a rough spot at around 3 months too. Didn't feel secure and happy in my recovery. It was suggested that I start to practice gratitude every day. At first it was hard, now it's a habit, and it's changed my attitude for the better. Now I focus more on the positive. 
Congrats on 3 months sober!
Congrats on 3 months sober!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 113
congrats on the 90 days! that's huge..
it's hard I know because I am dealing with it but you just have to focus on what you have to get done. Try writing down what you need and then check it off the list.
I would be happy if I even had a driver's licence lol
it's hard I know because I am dealing with it but you just have to focus on what you have to get done. Try writing down what you need and then check it off the list.
I would be happy if I even had a driver's licence lol
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,776
90 days wow, well done to you.
And now you have your sights on all the other stuff to do. We are all the same with our lists, dreams and goals.
Focus on the good stuff. The stuff you have got.
So what your boyfriends still technically married - if he's with you, he's with you.
Keep going, you are doing great.
And now you have your sights on all the other stuff to do. We are all the same with our lists, dreams and goals.
Focus on the good stuff. The stuff you have got.
So what your boyfriends still technically married - if he's with you, he's with you.
Keep going, you are doing great.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,596
Six months for me and my flat is a mess and lots of repairs and stuff to do too.
I used to get really anxious about it, but now just remind myself that I am sober and that's really all that counts.
Started to do a few things yesterday so things are improving. Also really good to let go some of the anxiety about not having to get everything done at once. By remaining sober it will all come out in the wash.
Drinking is pretty messy and you are starting to see it around you now. At least that's been my experience. And now I'm slowly getting stuff done. Cleaning up my act.
I used to get really anxious about it, but now just remind myself that I am sober and that's really all that counts.
Started to do a few things yesterday so things are improving. Also really good to let go some of the anxiety about not having to get everything done at once. By remaining sober it will all come out in the wash.
Drinking is pretty messy and you are starting to see it around you now. At least that's been my experience. And now I'm slowly getting stuff done. Cleaning up my act.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 937
Im at 92 days, and Im exhausted and pissed. I admit I always did feel resentment at being stuck with all the housework, grocery shopping, and care giving the whole of my adult life. I am super angry with husband - we havent had a "romantic" life in going on four years, primarily because I am not into the idea - he has said some incredibly hurtful things I cant let go of. He also has this idea that the money he makes (he does well) is HIS money, and the money I make goes to pay for groceries, my car payment, clothing, anything associated with taking care of teenage son. I tried to leave him last summer to sober up and get some clarity - he gulit tripped me into staying because he convinced me Id wreck my son's life.
Sigh.
When I moved back in he wanted to charge me rent because I "wasnt a proper wife" (not sleeping with him) but I balked at that.
I will say - he told me Id never get sober on my own - but here I am, marking the days on the calendar.
Whatever mistakes I have made - and I have made plenty - the prospect of spending the remainder of my life being punished for them is a bleak one.
Sigh.
When I moved back in he wanted to charge me rent because I "wasnt a proper wife" (not sleeping with him) but I balked at that.
I will say - he told me Id never get sober on my own - but here I am, marking the days on the calendar.
Whatever mistakes I have made - and I have made plenty - the prospect of spending the remainder of my life being punished for them is a bleak one.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Congratulations on 90 days, that is fantastic!!!
I think most of us are working on improving some aspect of our lives. Like Zoomi, am a big fan of checklists. Make a list and pick one thing you can begin to work on. Also, when it comes to your relationship, take an honest look and decide if it is something that is adding to your life in a positive way, or not. We all deserve to be in a relationship that is filled with love and happiness.
Keep checking off those sober days!!!
I think most of us are working on improving some aspect of our lives. Like Zoomi, am a big fan of checklists. Make a list and pick one thing you can begin to work on. Also, when it comes to your relationship, take an honest look and decide if it is something that is adding to your life in a positive way, or not. We all deserve to be in a relationship that is filled with love and happiness.
Keep checking off those sober days!!!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
