NewJourneyStart

I'm on Day 2 here and I need some advice...

Obviously alcohol is destructive in many ways and you neglect your life in many ways, it falls apart around you but your oblivious due to constantly getting drunk. Now that i've quit, it's quite overwhelming how much I have to do. I'm not really sure where or how to start. To list a few...

The house needs cleaning top to bottom, there's an overwhelming amount of empty beer cans around the house and in bags (I'd rather the neighbours didn't see them outside in bags), the garden is a mess, my car needs fixing, many family members and good friends have become distant, I've realised how much I've missed out on (events etc) through lying to stay home and drink...

Okay maybe that was more than a few, but there's still more than that. I just look at everything and I'm so overwhelmed I don't know how to even begin putting all this right and living normally again like a few years ago.

Anyone been in the same situation?

All I can focus on at the minute is making it through the day without taking that first drink but all that I listed above needs to be put right.

Thanks everyone!

Gottalife

When I am doing an AA 12 step call, if I have the street name I can usually spot the house. I don't need the number, it will be the one with the overgrown garden.

Absolute squalor were the words used by the authorities to describe my living conditions, just before the start of my last long bender.

What to do? Well, first I set out to prove I could control my drinking, Failed. Then I set out to prve my problems and my drinking were due to an imaginary brain injury. Failed. Then I tried to find any kind of recovery method that would allow me to continue to drink. Failed. Then I tried to find a recovery method that was easy and would not require any sort of committment from me. Failed. By then I was desperately miserable and the only thing I hadn't tried, because it did not fit my criteria, was AA, and it was the only thing left. So I joined. Success! Haven't needed to drink since, and life is unbelieveably good!

joandmelandhan

Hi newjourney. I feel very much the same. It's so easy to get overwhelmed by the neglect we've inflicted on our lives. The anxiety makes it worse and you get panicky about how much there is to do.
If I dare advise (I'm still learning too) I'd say give yourself a little break for a while yet. Early sobriety is very delicate and it's number one priority. Then I have allowed myself to take baby steps. Write a list. Break it down into manageable parts. Tidy one room at a time. Clear the cans one bag at a time. You've the rest of your life to get organized. We're not superheros.
Time will be your friend (that's what I'm hoping).....don't overdo it. Maybe even just an hour or 2 a day "doing".
Good luck and stay in touch x

joandmelandhan

Try the weekender thread to cheer yourself up too. Lots of support there x

ALinNS

Been there a few times, picked away at the clean up each day as it can be overwhelming.

At the start I threw everything at this addiction, AA, AA Online, this site, what I learned in a 21 day program, tweaked my plan to stay sober, did a lot of reading online, after a couple of months of sobriety I kept what was working for me, including lots of walks with my dog.

Andrew

nmd

Hi new journey, welcome! I have about a month worth of weeding ahead of me this summer, a bathroom I started remodeling but didn't finish, a deck with boards curling up needing repair...

If you have deposit on the cans, maybe you can get a local charity or youth group that would return them for the $$.

Other than that, I'm just trying to make small victories. If I can tidy up one section of yard at a time, one part of the house, etc., I can at least step back and see something that is finished. :-)

Congratulations on your decision not to drink!

NewJourneyStart

I've decided to bag up all the beer cans and bottles into big bags, put them in the kitchen next to the back door.

Then every time I leave the house in the car somewhere, take a bag and get rid of them slowly that way

firstymer

You are on Day 2. And you are doing great. But IMHO, main priority in these early days should be to focus on your plan to stay sober. Once you have a couple weeks under your belt, you can start to focus on some of the things that drinking may have caused you to neglect. You have a lifetime of sobriety ahead of you to work on some of the things you missed.
Good luck. I hope you will keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

suzie89

NewJourney, I could have written your post. The folks who have already responded pretty much said everything I would have said in response. I'm 2 months sober as of yesterday, and I honestly believe what you are describing about being so overwhelmed when you sober up is a big factor in my relapses over the past couple of years. Your sobriety is first. You focus on the other stuff only as it supports your sobriety. On your to do list bump up the things that will give you a quick sense of accomplishment (like your plan for the cans) or the things that are critical to your health or the health of your loved ones (like long neglected dr appts,). Congrats on 2 days. Put yourself first. Breathe deep, and stay sober.

Wastinglife

I can certainly relate. I neglect all responsibilities when I'm on the drinking merry-go-round. While on a bender, my apartment becomes so cluttered with trash and beer cans that I can't move about without knocking a few over. Eventually, when I sober up. I'll fill two two large garbage bags up and return the cans for the deposit only to have my apartment full of empty cans again within a week. It's madness.

thomas11

Maybe write down a priority list and tackle your tasks in order of priority with #1 being stay sober. It has to be #1 on every list you make. You can do it.

FormerWineGirl

I understand getting overwhelmed with an endless To-Do list. But for me, I had to focus my attention and concentration on just staying sober in those first few months. I really got little else done. This is my second summer sober, and it's amazing what I am doing this year compared to last. Recovery takes time and energy, but you will never regret your investment. Be kind to yourself, stay sober, and the rest will get done if you give yourself time.

RogerD

Hi,

Congrats on day 2. Your only goal should be not to drink. Don't stress about the other stuff. I got rid of my empties by driving to a school with a recycling bin and dumping them there. A few different schools actually. It was nice to get the empties out of the house. Didn't need the reminder. Then I ended up doing things just to take my mind off wanting to drink. But again your main focus for the next few months should be to not drink. Other things will fall into place. You can do it.

Behappy1

I agree with the others. Baby steps on getting the house back in order. Mine is looking the same way. Day 1 here for me. Again. I think early on just do what you can and rest. It will still be there tomorrow or the next day.

ZenLifter

You've already gotten some great advice NewJourney. Baby steps, don't let yourself get overwhelmed, focus on sobriety....but I just wanted to say thank you for your post. It helps me remember why I cannot ever drink again. The beer cans everywhere, the total mess that was my life. When I was on a bender, I felt anxious even looking at the dishes piled in the sink. The thought of doing them was too much. I used to wash just one if I needed it, lol.