Pajanickah

Hey, posted here a few weeks ago, relapsed and stayed sober for 2 weeks - The longest stint I've had in a year and half. Well started coming off of a 3 day binge yesterday. In the midst of that binge I took a trip across the country for an internship traveling the country until August. I tried adjusting my body for those two weeks to prepare for this job and it was going very well. Now I'm smakdab in the middle of this job in a foreign city detoxing. It's not pleasant but I have anxiety medicine for the withdrawal. Did I mention I spent $800 plus dollars on absolutely nothing getting here? I'm so frustrated with myself. I must also mention that this is a "live in" job that you can't leave. It's very grueling and I'm a little nervous. Sorry I'm ranting. I just have nobody to talk to at this point and I'm terrified. I know this will pass, but I'm so upset with myself. My plan is to not drink the entire time I'm with this job and make a plan for when I leave and go back home.

Sorry to rant.

Opivotal

A three day binge is rough to come back from. Not much you can do right now, but take care of yourself.

Hopefully you're drinking lots of fluids.

Try and eat something when you can.

No sense to beat up on yourself, use your energy to recover and not drink .

I hope you feel better soon.

Come here and post, vent all you like. Support does help.

Pajanickah

Thank you, O. I think I'm gonna come here regularly for the time being because I'm having supers socially anxiety. I used to love doing this, so I dont know what I'm so scared of. Sigh I'm just panicky and I'm constantly around 300 + people day. It's overwhelming. Also I'm finding I'm having a really hard time focusing on my job at hand. I have to go back to work for two hours, but I will post after I leave.

Opivotal

I understand, Pajanickah.

Try and get through the rest of the day. Keep posting and remember this won't last. I'm sure you're great at this job, you can do this!

Everyday will get a little easier. I know it took me at least a few days to recover from a binge.

Anna

I hope you continue to work through this and feel better each day. Do check in here whenever you can.

Pajanickah

I'm trying. Getting through day 1 is always the hardest. I feel somewhat normal now.

Soberwolf

We will be here to lean on bud

Hawkeye13

You can do it--each day will get better.

Rar

Hang in there. It will get better. Read and post often. It will go a long way in reinforcing your commitment to sobriety.

Pajanickah

Well, I made it through another day sober. I felt 80% less anxious and have very minimal withdrawal symptoms - which is a true blessing.

I still feel out of place around people and am really lacking any sorts of social skills still at this moment. I'm around 300 people a day all day, 24/7, but I'm still isolating any second I get. I have my own room, so that too is a blessing.

I am slowly but surely coming out of my shell, but I think it will take another week or so.

I almost feel like I'm at a rehab, but able to go where I want. It's a little strange, but I know it will all make sense when I go home from this job in 63 days. It always does.

So yeah still lonely. Could use all of your positive vibes and prayers from anyone.

Thanks for reading,

-Nick