"Almost 4 month itch"...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Northeast US
Posts: 773
"Almost 4 month itch"...
Need to hear stories from others who made it past the four-five month mark. I'm sure in not the only one who hit a point around this mark and all of a sudden(seemingly) felt like maybe not continuing on this journey - heart isn't in it- why bother-etc.
In simplest terms "I'm not feeling it"... I'm still not drinking... But not sure I want to bother sticking it hit as it were.
I'm not looking for stories of a return to attempted moderation and how it failed ... Rather if you wNt through this funk in sobriety how long did it take to pass and how did you fake your way through it til it did?
In simplest terms "I'm not feeling it"... I'm still not drinking... But not sure I want to bother sticking it hit as it were.
I'm not looking for stories of a return to attempted moderation and how it failed ... Rather if you wNt through this funk in sobriety how long did it take to pass and how did you fake your way through it til it did?
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
A few years back I was sick a week with the flu, as sick as I can remember being. After a week I felt better. After two weeks I felt even better. After three weeks I would have told you I was back to normal. But after 4 weeks I was still regaining strength. How does this relate to recovery from addiction?
After almost 35 years of daily drinking, I quit. I felt amazing after 30 days sober, physically speaking. At ninety days I thought I was over a lot of the emotional hurdles. However, I found myself so far past that point at 180 days sober that I was amazed. And while I thought the difference between 90 days and 180 days was huge, the difference between one year sober and two years sober was even greater.
I guess my point is, when you are sick—as with the flu—any improvement, even slight, feels dramatic. It isn’t until you return fully to health that you realize how sick you were. That’s how it was with my recovery. It took two years to realize how sick I really was. That’s what I meant by change of perspective. My take on my alcoholism has changed markedly over the past year.
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I wrote that as a blog entry at my two-year sobriety mark.
Congrats on four months. It is a great achievement. And you've made great progress. But you have a ways to go. Don't undo it all by giving up now.
After almost 35 years of daily drinking, I quit. I felt amazing after 30 days sober, physically speaking. At ninety days I thought I was over a lot of the emotional hurdles. However, I found myself so far past that point at 180 days sober that I was amazed. And while I thought the difference between 90 days and 180 days was huge, the difference between one year sober and two years sober was even greater.
I guess my point is, when you are sick—as with the flu—any improvement, even slight, feels dramatic. It isn’t until you return fully to health that you realize how sick you were. That’s how it was with my recovery. It took two years to realize how sick I really was. That’s what I meant by change of perspective. My take on my alcoholism has changed markedly over the past year.
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I wrote that as a blog entry at my two-year sobriety mark.
Congrats on four months. It is a great achievement. And you've made great progress. But you have a ways to go. Don't undo it all by giving up now.
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: NC
Posts: 662
Congrats on 4 months sober, that is a huge achievement, but remember..you will only continue to feel better and grow the longer you are sober so you are not at the end of this journey, you have not hit the "this is the best I will ever feel mark", and if you were to give up now after all your hard work to get here then you might never get a second chance at recovery again.
When I started to get into a funk I started off by giving myself the pep talk I just wrote above. That got me a little bit more moving, then I went back and reread my entire journal that I have written in daily since getting sober to see how bad it truly was, how far I have come, and how each day even if I didn't feel I was getting any benefits I actually was when I read how much happier and more stable I have become. I also made a point of reading some self help books (I love to read anyway so it helped get try to achieve a shift in thinking), I started becoming more involved in my church and at the animal shelter, and I reevaluated what types of short term and long term goals I should work towards. I also made a list of where I want to be in a year and after writing it out and realizing how excited I was about what my future could consist of if I keep working and then I wrote out where I thought I would be at in a year if I went back to using. That got me actually working harder on my recovery then I ever had because if there was one thing I knew for certain, it was that I did not want that second version of me in a year to become true.
When I started to get into a funk I started off by giving myself the pep talk I just wrote above. That got me a little bit more moving, then I went back and reread my entire journal that I have written in daily since getting sober to see how bad it truly was, how far I have come, and how each day even if I didn't feel I was getting any benefits I actually was when I read how much happier and more stable I have become. I also made a point of reading some self help books (I love to read anyway so it helped get try to achieve a shift in thinking), I started becoming more involved in my church and at the animal shelter, and I reevaluated what types of short term and long term goals I should work towards. I also made a list of where I want to be in a year and after writing it out and realizing how excited I was about what my future could consist of if I keep working and then I wrote out where I thought I would be at in a year if I went back to using. That got me actually working harder on my recovery then I ever had because if there was one thing I knew for certain, it was that I did not want that second version of me in a year to become true.
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
I'm days away from 9 months sober so a little ahead of you. I went through some doldrums where you're feeling good and have noticed improvement but it doesn't seem to be getting any better than where you currently are. It does though when you look back from a point further down the road. I also may have lucked out as at the 4 month time frame I made a commitment to something in the mid term where drinking would not have allowed me to accomplish it. I have to say, what you frequently hear here, it does get better. If you return to drinking you're life certainly isn't going to get better.
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Northeast US
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I'm trying to figure out if this funk is a normal occurrence along the journey, or combination of life events. I do some endurance activities like triathlons and such and was really looking forward to one that was to be his weekend and my first century ride (100 miles) in a few weeks. But due to health issues in sidelined from those and instead will watch and support my friends in those efforts. Feeling poorly is draining physically and mentally. And now missing these milestone events I had planned is a downer as well - I was really looking forward to tackling hear big events sober and seeing what a difference it would make. In addition, I had a big bucket list item planned later this summer before a milestone birthday - and that will likely be off the table as well.
My reserves and defenses are down...
My reserves and defenses are down...
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
ICDB, I made it 17 months and had ups and downs. The further out I got the better I felt and the shorter the downs lasted. These times are kind of the "what now?" times.
I often thought about the fact that people who never had a problem with alcohol feel this way too. Life is never consistent for anyone. Everyone has to work their way through it.
The only way I got through it was by making my mind busy. Whatever I needed to do in order to lift me out of that current way that I was feeling.
I know you want more focus on how people get through it but I can't leave this post without telling you something. I would sit in that same state of mind for weeks on end in trade for what going back out did for me. I know that it sucks to feel that way but it's better than the alternative.
Truth be told I was amazed at the things that could bring me out of it. Getting takeout for dinner, looking for a movie I hadn't seen yet that I wanted to see. It's times like these that you have to consider what makes you happy and do it.
Sounds like that AV has really been having it's way with you. What have you been doing to combat it? What makes you happy?
As far as I'm concerned too, days like this are calorie free no matter what you eat
I often thought about the fact that people who never had a problem with alcohol feel this way too. Life is never consistent for anyone. Everyone has to work their way through it.
The only way I got through it was by making my mind busy. Whatever I needed to do in order to lift me out of that current way that I was feeling.
I know you want more focus on how people get through it but I can't leave this post without telling you something. I would sit in that same state of mind for weeks on end in trade for what going back out did for me. I know that it sucks to feel that way but it's better than the alternative.
Truth be told I was amazed at the things that could bring me out of it. Getting takeout for dinner, looking for a movie I hadn't seen yet that I wanted to see. It's times like these that you have to consider what makes you happy and do it.
Sounds like that AV has really been having it's way with you. What have you been doing to combat it? What makes you happy?
As far as I'm concerned too, days like this are calorie free no matter what you eat
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
I'm very sorry to hear that health issues are keeping you from some pretty awesome challenges. I can somewhat relate as the commitment I made required some pretty intense training and the time I had to do that was much shorter than I would have liked. During that period I had some health issue that fortunately were short lived. But it did get me down with days that I couldn't train and feeling I absolutely couldn't afford not training during those days. I would have been really bummed if a health issue keep me from accomplishing my goal. But, drinking isn't going to make any situation better. And I would encourage you to "fake it 'till you make it" through the feelings you are having right now.
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
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I felt sort of blah around three months. It was suggested that I start practicing gratitude every day. It took some doing to keep it up as I was very depressed and didn't feel I had much to be grateful for. But I kept on doing it, being grateful for the smallest thing. And it became a habit. 
It focused my attitude on the positive and really made a difference. Try it!
Congrats on four months sober!
It focused my attitude on the positive and really made a difference. Try it! Congrats on four months sober!
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Join Date: Aug 2003
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Is it likely that the health issues that are preventing you from participating in events will improve/disappear? If so, then that could be something you could hold onto and move forward.
I, personally, did not experience a funk. There was no pink cloud either, just slow and steady improvement. I hope that you can find a way to improve your quality of life.
I, personally, did not experience a funk. There was no pink cloud either, just slow and steady improvement. I hope that you can find a way to improve your quality of life.
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 16
Have not posted for a while...am four months in myself now and lately have been struggling with feeling moody, resentful and jealous of seeing people/couples sharing a drink together. My boyfriend is a 'normal' drinker and I continue to accompany him to the pub an evening a week which I loathe to be honest. It generates feelings of anxiety within me! There was a woman in there on one occasion so intoxicated she could hardly stand up it really concerned me. I swing between feelings of boredom to resentment to anxiety whilst there. I know I should confide in my boyfriend but he would not understand after all my dramas while drunk I am afraid he would just treat it as another drama which is really bad I know. I am at the point I really can't be bothered socialising we have couple events coming up this summer days at the races where everyone else will be giddy on champagne except me plus having to explain why I know longer drink.
I know I am still in early days of sobriety and things will get better once I hit the 12 month mark but am just struggling at the moment and all I see is doom and gloom and faking a smile as I walk into the pub
I know I am still in early days of sobriety and things will get better once I hit the 12 month mark but am just struggling at the moment and all I see is doom and gloom and faking a smile as I walk into the pub
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Northeast US
Posts: 773
Originally Posted by Anna 
Is it likely that the health issues that are preventing you from participating in events will improve/disappear? If so, then that could be something you could hold onto and move forward. I, personally, did not experience a funk. There was no pink cloud either, just slow and steady improvement. I hope that you can find a way to improve your quality of life.
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 411
Great thread everyone. I am around the 4 month mark myself, feeling pretty even keeled at the moment. Something Louise said above jumped out at me: Things will get better once I pass the 12 month mark. Speaking for myself, I want to avoid these kinds of expectations about sobriety. Maybe things will be better after 6 months or a year, but it's also possible they won't. I want to be okay with either, if you know what I mean....
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
well - either you quit for good.........or you quit UNTIL........
the fact that you are in a funk, well founded it sounds like with some problematic health issues, is just another life event. still no reason to drink. that is OFF the table. it is simply no longer an option, regardless of what else is going on.
so you power thru, left right repeat. don't drink, stick with your program, hit the pillow sober.
the fact that you are in a funk, well founded it sounds like with some problematic health issues, is just another life event. still no reason to drink. that is OFF the table. it is simply no longer an option, regardless of what else is going on.
so you power thru, left right repeat. don't drink, stick with your program, hit the pillow sober.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 283
just keep swimming..
four months is about right to be knuckling down for the long haul. how has your life changed these last 15 or so weeks? have you regretted your sober time so far?
just hold on; the best is yet to come. i've got 25 months and my life is unrecognisable - in a good way!
four months is about right to be knuckling down for the long haul. how has your life changed these last 15 or so weeks? have you regretted your sober time so far?
just hold on; the best is yet to come. i've got 25 months and my life is unrecognisable - in a good way!
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,785
I've noticed a lot of people tend to fall off around the 3-5 month mark. Some really struggle to regain their footing with sobriety once they relapse. Every person I've talked to talks about how it wasn't worth it, so those are important words to heed IMHO.
I know what you're saying and can completely relate since I had the itch too. 6 months seemed so far off and a year even moreso. Between PMing friends for support, keeping up my recovery efforts, and focusing on how much life had improved with sobriety, it got me through . Sobriety has gotten even better with time and I now have over 1.5 years sober. Keep on hanging in there.
If you need accountability, why not join us on the 24 hour thread? It'd be great to have you there!
I know what you're saying and can completely relate since I had the itch too. 6 months seemed so far off and a year even moreso. Between PMing friends for support, keeping up my recovery efforts, and focusing on how much life had improved with sobriety, it got me through . Sobriety has gotten even better with time and I now have over 1.5 years sober. Keep on hanging in there.
If you need accountability, why not join us on the 24 hour thread? It'd be great to have you there!
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Hi ICDB,
Sorry you aren't feeling well, hope they can figure out what is going on.
I am a little over five months, and not feeling that way right now. I had a few days when the weather warmed up of romanticizing wine on my back patio. I spent some time rereading my old posts, and that helped eliminate the romanticizing. I read an article on Sober Nation last night about signs of relapse, it had some interesting ones, you may want to peek at that.
I am very happy with the physical and mental changes I have noticed during sobriety, and there is no vintage of wine worth ruining those on.
Is there an activity you can do while waiting to be able to exercise again? Online class? Book club?
Hope you start to feel better soon.
❤️ Delilah
Sorry you aren't feeling well, hope they can figure out what is going on.
I am a little over five months, and not feeling that way right now. I had a few days when the weather warmed up of romanticizing wine on my back patio. I spent some time rereading my old posts, and that helped eliminate the romanticizing. I read an article on Sober Nation last night about signs of relapse, it had some interesting ones, you may want to peek at that.
I am very happy with the physical and mental changes I have noticed during sobriety, and there is no vintage of wine worth ruining those on.
Is there an activity you can do while waiting to be able to exercise again? Online class? Book club?
Hope you start to feel better soon.
❤️ Delilah
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne, Victoria Australia
Posts: 1,202
Originally Posted by ICanDoBetter
I'm trying to figure out if this funk is a normal occurrence along the journey, or combination of life events. I do some endurance activities like triathlons and such and was really looking forward to one that was to be his weekend and my first century ride (100 miles) in a few weeks. But due to health issues in sidelined from those and instead will watch and support my friends in those efforts. Feeling poorly is draining physically and mentally. And now missing these milestone events I had planned is a downer as well - I was really looking forward to tackling hear big events sober and seeing what a difference it would make. In addition, I had a big bucket list item planned later this summer before a milestone birthday - and that will likely be off the table as well.
My reserves and defenses are down...
My reserves and defenses are down...
Being alcoholics as well, with the somewhat black n white / extremes / all or nothing thinking that is a common hallmark, it's no surprise that we (I!) lay into ourselves and / or the world / Life itself for missing out on that endpoint we've marked out. I personally become like a dog fiercely guarding its bone - or in a better analogy, like my dog when she zones in, laser-like, on a ball in the vicinity: you can almost hear her saying 'I wanna GET THAT *&^ing BALL!' Everything 'seems' to depend on it.
What I have to do - if I'm not to either go insane or worse, pick up a drink or hundred to ease that inner tension - is remind myself to be aware, just notice that tendency playing itself out - exactly as you've just done above. Then, Just Breathe, over and over again, let it go, return to the present moment. Aaaahhhhhhhh....
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