Avoiding the pity party..
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 134
Avoiding the pity party..
I apologize for all of the posts and threads recently..but they have helped me a lot.
My absolute biggest problem is I find myself having pity parties or I just lay on the couch nothing gets done and I feel worse at the end of the day as well nothing was done.
What do you guys do to avoid the pity party or just laying around and doing absolutely nothing?
My absolute biggest problem is I find myself having pity parties or I just lay on the couch nothing gets done and I feel worse at the end of the day as well nothing was done.
What do you guys do to avoid the pity party or just laying around and doing absolutely nothing?
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Thailand
Posts: 824
Jimmy can you explain what you think in these pity parties and how long they might last?
Not being awkward pal just not a term I'm familiar with - i will probably have an equivalent just want to be on same page etc
Not being awkward pal just not a term I'm familiar with - i will probably have an equivalent just want to be on same page etc
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Davis, CA
Posts: 90
What i have been doing the last couple days:
Day 1 - Nothing - I sat around and stewed. Watched TV felt much the same(weird, bad, awkward).
Day 2 - I did some laundry, very small amount(yet to fold though, i hate folding no matter what). Got up and walked around. Took a shower. Made a few calls to "normal" friends i would normally chat with every day or two. I also went on a small trip to the store. I could have got more this trip, but i wanted to give myself a goal for the next day
Day 3(Today) - Got up, paid some bills that have been needing to be paid. Took a shower. Then i did it, i went to the place i hate the most, walmart. I am going out of town Monday, so i needed some things. I made sure i walked around the whole freaking store. Spent more than i wanted, but i needed the things i got. Besides i would have spent more on drugs already then i spent the entire trip.
Not sure what i am going to do with the rest of the day. I am not into sports much, but i am looking fwd to watching the NBA finals game later.
Stay strong bud. You can do i just like i am doing it.
Also do not apologize. I think its therapeutic to post... even if its just small rambles.
Day 1 - Nothing - I sat around and stewed. Watched TV felt much the same(weird, bad, awkward).
Day 2 - I did some laundry, very small amount(yet to fold though, i hate folding no matter what). Got up and walked around. Took a shower. Made a few calls to "normal" friends i would normally chat with every day or two. I also went on a small trip to the store. I could have got more this trip, but i wanted to give myself a goal for the next day
Day 3(Today) - Got up, paid some bills that have been needing to be paid. Took a shower. Then i did it, i went to the place i hate the most, walmart. I am going out of town Monday, so i needed some things. I made sure i walked around the whole freaking store. Spent more than i wanted, but i needed the things i got. Besides i would have spent more on drugs already then i spent the entire trip.
Not sure what i am going to do with the rest of the day. I am not into sports much, but i am looking fwd to watching the NBA finals game later.
Stay strong bud. You can do i just like i am doing it.
Also do not apologize. I think its therapeutic to post... even if its just small rambles.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
baby steps. it's ok to have a down day NOW and THEN, so cut yourself some slack.
maybe you don't try to paint the whole house, but maybe you get ONE load into the wash. i call it making bargains with myself. ok, come on, let's do ONE thing.......not 18, one.
i had the flu this week (what?? in May/June??) and had a very valid reason to not do much, and was pretty much flattened for a couple of days. my husband was sick as well so while the place didn't go completely to hell, it was looking pretty scruffy.
when i could, as i could, i started chipping away at it. just a few dishes at a time. wipe down one counter. change the pillow cases. not all at once tho! baby steps.
maybe you don't try to paint the whole house, but maybe you get ONE load into the wash. i call it making bargains with myself. ok, come on, let's do ONE thing.......not 18, one.
i had the flu this week (what?? in May/June??) and had a very valid reason to not do much, and was pretty much flattened for a couple of days. my husband was sick as well so while the place didn't go completely to hell, it was looking pretty scruffy.
when i could, as i could, i started chipping away at it. just a few dishes at a time. wipe down one counter. change the pillow cases. not all at once tho! baby steps.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 134
Originally Posted by RedManc7 
Jimmy can you explain what you think in these pity parties and how long they might last?
Not being awkward pal just not a term I'm familiar with - i will probably have an equivalent just want to be on same page etc
Not being awkward pal just not a term I'm familiar with - i will probably have an equivalent just want to be on same page etc
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Chicago
Posts: 34
Hey Jimmy, hang in there. It does get better.
I am at day 87 of being clean. The first 36 days I was in a coma and then recovering in the hospital. But I remember the first 2 weeks after I was released from the hospital. All I wanted to do was lay around and have grand pity-party's.
I just wanted to feel sorry for myself and was angry at everyone else in the whole world. I laid in bed and actually planned out the next eight months. I was sure that I would not have anything to do with anyone. Screw birthdays, holidays, graduations and I sure as hell didn't want anyone stopping by to visit me with their hollow "were so glad you are feeling better" B.S!
I was mad at my wife and my kids and anyone else I came across. It was a very rough time those first few weeks. But as I started getting healthier, I started doing things that I used to do before I started using heroin. Old hobbies and the little bit I exercise I could tolerate when the physical therapist and occupational therapist would come by to work with me, all made me feel better. It was things that occupied my mind that made me forget that I wanted to just feel sorry for myself.
My siblings and parents stopped by to visit me. The first few times I just wanted to sit in the dark and couldn't wait until they would leave. But they kept coming back. By the 3rd week or so, I actually was starting to enjoy their visits. I would find myself looking forward to them coming by when they would text me and say they would stop by later when they got off of work.
I remember one day in particular about the 4 week I was feeling pretty low. A friend of mine from high school showed up and that made my day. I just poured on him all my issues and guilt (I am sure that was way more than he was expecting). By the time he left, I felt so good inside and had a stupid smile on my face that I couldn't get rid of.
Still have a lot of work to do with my wife and kids. But now that I realize and accept that the anger I have is with myself, and not them, it is making it much easier. I know I need to be able to forgive myself, and I have told all of them that I am not ready to do that...so I don't expect any of them to be able to forgive me. But I love them, and I know they still love me. It is going to take time to heal the damage I caused.
Sorry to ramble on. Try to find something you enjoy doing. Anything that you used to do before you started using. Exercising is a great escape. Baby steps...It does take some time. But I think the more you can find other things to occupy your mind, the easier it will be to leave the pity party's behind.
Good luck, keep posting and let us know how you are doing!
I am at day 87 of being clean. The first 36 days I was in a coma and then recovering in the hospital. But I remember the first 2 weeks after I was released from the hospital. All I wanted to do was lay around and have grand pity-party's.
I just wanted to feel sorry for myself and was angry at everyone else in the whole world. I laid in bed and actually planned out the next eight months. I was sure that I would not have anything to do with anyone. Screw birthdays, holidays, graduations and I sure as hell didn't want anyone stopping by to visit me with their hollow "were so glad you are feeling better" B.S!
I was mad at my wife and my kids and anyone else I came across. It was a very rough time those first few weeks. But as I started getting healthier, I started doing things that I used to do before I started using heroin. Old hobbies and the little bit I exercise I could tolerate when the physical therapist and occupational therapist would come by to work with me, all made me feel better. It was things that occupied my mind that made me forget that I wanted to just feel sorry for myself.
My siblings and parents stopped by to visit me. The first few times I just wanted to sit in the dark and couldn't wait until they would leave. But they kept coming back. By the 3rd week or so, I actually was starting to enjoy their visits. I would find myself looking forward to them coming by when they would text me and say they would stop by later when they got off of work.
I remember one day in particular about the 4 week I was feeling pretty low. A friend of mine from high school showed up and that made my day. I just poured on him all my issues and guilt (I am sure that was way more than he was expecting). By the time he left, I felt so good inside and had a stupid smile on my face that I couldn't get rid of.
Still have a lot of work to do with my wife and kids. But now that I realize and accept that the anger I have is with myself, and not them, it is making it much easier. I know I need to be able to forgive myself, and I have told all of them that I am not ready to do that...so I don't expect any of them to be able to forgive me. But I love them, and I know they still love me. It is going to take time to heal the damage I caused.
Sorry to ramble on. Try to find something you enjoy doing. Anything that you used to do before you started using. Exercising is a great escape. Baby steps...It does take some time. But I think the more you can find other things to occupy your mind, the easier it will be to leave the pity party's behind.
Good luck, keep posting and let us know how you are doing!
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Thailand
Posts: 824
Originally Posted by Jimmy9212
Just laying on bed or sitting on the couch feeling sorry for myself..not wanting or caring to do anything.
One thing I've learnt is that my head is always gonna be up my arse when I tried to kick smack. Depressed. Down, feeling sorry for myself etc. life's ruined etc.
I just ignore my thoughts. Let them go. If you don't have any energy then have a pity party I say, feel sorry for yourself a bit just don't give your thoughts too much energy, its better than using having a pity party, you are putting yourself through a massive physical and mental change of pace in life, be kind to yourself is what I'm trying to say. As long as you aren't having Pity parties that last for weeks then what's the problem, indulge yourself with some woe is me, just make sure you aren't going there as a default position but you need to stop giving yourself a hard time mate IMO.
You are getting clean. It's not the same as becoming a great person, a saint etc. be kind to yourself pal. We often use drink/drugs as the explanation why we don't do certain things (if I didn't use heroin I'd be training everyday, eating clean etc) but often the reality is different. Accepting that is another aspect of getting clean but being clean doesn't mean you aren't gonna feel sorry for yourself, pity parties etc.
just go easy on yourself and don't give too much weight to what your mind is thinking as it could be all over place right now, just let it go brother.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 134
Originally Posted by RedManc7
Thanks mate.
One thing I've learnt is that my head is always gonna be up my arse when I tried to kick smack. Depressed. Down, feeling sorry for myself etc. life's ruined etc.
I just ignore my thoughts. Let them go. If you don't have any energy then have a pity party I say, feel sorry for yourself a bit just don't give your thoughts too much energy, its better than using having a pity party, you are putting yourself through a massive physical and mental change of pace in life, be kind to yourself is what I'm trying to say. As long as you aren't having Pity parties that last for weeks then what's the problem, indulge yourself with some woe is me, just make sure you aren't going there as a default position but you need to stop giving yourself a hard time mate IMO.
You are getting clean. It's not the same as becoming a great person, a saint etc. be kind to yourself pal. We often use drink/drugs as the explanation why we don't do certain things (if I didn't use heroin I'd be training everyday, eating clean etc) but often the reality is different. Accepting that is another aspect of getting clean but being clean doesn't mean you aren't gonna feel sorry for yourself, pity parties etc.
just go easy on yourself and don't give too much weight to what your mind is thinking as it could be all over place right now, just let it go brother.
One thing I've learnt is that my head is always gonna be up my arse when I tried to kick smack. Depressed. Down, feeling sorry for myself etc. life's ruined etc.
I just ignore my thoughts. Let them go. If you don't have any energy then have a pity party I say, feel sorry for yourself a bit just don't give your thoughts too much energy, its better than using having a pity party, you are putting yourself through a massive physical and mental change of pace in life, be kind to yourself is what I'm trying to say. As long as you aren't having Pity parties that last for weeks then what's the problem, indulge yourself with some woe is me, just make sure you aren't going there as a default position but you need to stop giving yourself a hard time mate IMO.
You are getting clean. It's not the same as becoming a great person, a saint etc. be kind to yourself pal. We often use drink/drugs as the explanation why we don't do certain things (if I didn't use heroin I'd be training everyday, eating clean etc) but often the reality is different. Accepting that is another aspect of getting clean but being clean doesn't mean you aren't gonna feel sorry for yourself, pity parties etc.
just go easy on yourself and don't give too much weight to what your mind is thinking as it could be all over place right now, just let it go brother.
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 2,258
Have you watched train wreck? love it. that is so me. 100% but I did way worst things....
I like whey her boss makes a comment about pity party.
We can all have our pity party days, weeks. it's up to us when we want to put a stop to it as we are only hurting ourselves.
I like whey her boss makes a comment about pity party.
We can all have our pity party days, weeks. it's up to us when we want to put a stop to it as we are only hurting ourselves.
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